And When Did You Last See Your Father? - Tiny Fencer Update

[BevS97]

Oh boy. You have the patience of a saint. I would have had to buy that child a Burger King . And a bit of tv is good for language and understanding local humour.

I hope you get an answer to your headaches.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by vikytc

I don't usually reply to messages on the board, as i'm not convinced I have a lot to offer, but in this case I can share a little.

I have migraines, completely out of the blue, no discernible triggers. They are usually one sided and my face goes numb like i've just been to the dentist, and it can last 24 hours or more. I have tried every over the counter medication and several proscription ones. The best thing I have found that works for me is a very strong espresso (Bleugh) and an ICE cold full fat coke, two paracetamols and a lie down.. don't ask me why it works, but it does! Its also relatively easy to get whilst out and about in an emergency.

I hope you feel better soon and I have loved reading your reports!

Viky

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Thanks so much for sharing your experience with migraine. The numbness was VERY scary those first few times - I was imagining the worst - but now that I know it will go away (eventually) it's easier to stay calm. I'm with you on the espresso (YUK) - but I can see how the massive caffeine jolt could help. My neurologist told me heat, heat, heat - but for me the cold seems 100 times more helpful. I think what was really useful for me to hear was that with migraine drugs don't usually work - because they work on inflammation - and in migraine you don't actually HAVE inflammation - your body just thinks you do.

And viky - I reckon if you're willing to take the time to try and help a complete stranger - you've got a lot to offer.


Don't be a stranger!

Originally Posted by Vikkicat

hi April,
I've only just stumbled on your post.
I'd like to say your Poot sounds like a credit to you, he seems such a lovely boy.

It is so hard when you have a mild mannered one and TF who wants to smash things. I have a 10yo who i think is mild mannered and cannot understand why people are not always like him...

Loved your mini trippe about the fossil coast, looks like such a loveley area - may have do take mine there on October half term

as for the migraines, i get them, but never had numbness in my legs or feet, i think i'd be asking for a second opinion. i think you are 'round the corner' from where i live, have you contacted the rivers hospital in Sawbridgeworth as they have specialist Neuro people there? - got to love the Lister, i want there with MIL and FIL yesterday... just wanted to scrub myself clean when i got home

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Thank you for your kind words. Poot's a good lad. Though - to be frank - I NEVER thought of him as "mild-mannered" until the visit from TF! He was just SO physical - I think his parents were wise to get him involved in a disciplined, organised sport like fencing.

I have a 10yo who I think is mild-mannered and cannot understand why people are not always like him...

This was my favourite line of your post. I love kids - but because I only have one - I can't help but filter all my expectations through my limited experience.

We just loved it down there on the coast - and apparently the "finds" are even better in the autumn and winter (because of storms). Bring your waterproofs in October, though!

I do know of The Rivers - I had to go there once for a test (not as part of this process, though). That's where R.C. and I were thinking about trying for the second opinion - any recommendations for neuros would be received most gratefully!

The Lister...(shudder)...Poot was born in America - and when DH saw the hospital he just stood there open-mouthed. "But this is like a SPA!"

"No, dear - this is like a CLEAN hospital."

Having said that, I felt very lucky to stumble into the care of Doctor Tap, who was both kind and competent. There were also a couple of lovely nurses and aides. And I had to have a porter walk me to one of the tests (because I was a "fall risk" or something like that) - and he was just a star with Poot (he called him "Habibi", bless).

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Redrach1903

Hi April!

Thanks for coming back to update us on all the shenanigans!

Sorry to see you were unwell. That must have been so scary (not to mention painful - needles in spine! ) getting all those tests! I'm very glad it turned out to be benign though

LF sounds like very hard work. You must have the patience of a saint! I definitely think R.C should have put a stop to it though. Massive deduction of husband points...

Confession time - I enjoy the occasional McDonald's. Please don't block me

Take care and keep us updated on the migraine situation! Xx

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Thanks for dropping in, Rachael!


And yes - if anyone ever suggests a spinal tap to you - ask if there's ANYTHING else they can try instead. I am actually a pretty tough customer with pain, but that was a whole new world of hurt.


Poor R.C. - the Dibb's giving it to him today. He just can't refuse Cousine X anything, sigh. But I'm not perfect either - so I suppose we make a good match.


And shh...I like the occasional McDonald's, too. In America (during March) they do green, minty milkshakes called "Shamrock Shakes" - and when I was expecting Poot I had little daydreams about Shamrock Shakes and fries...

I'm certainly no food snob!

[duchy]

I spent some time in Israel, everyone spoke English and claimed to have learned from rock music, TV and films (everything is Subtitled as the Hebrew market isn't big enough to justify dubbing into Hebrew) so that's why most Israelis speak English with a strong American accent.

Bit of TV and movies wouldn't have hurt, I doubt there's going to be no TV at boarding school.

As for hospitals DS needed his adanoids out when he was three. It was three months to get see the specialist on the NHS plus however long to actually get an op date so luckily we were covered through OH's work so went privately in Wimbledon. OH turned up to pick us up and his comment was "I've stayed in four star hotels that weren't as nice as this room". The difference is insane. My ex flat mate was a nurse and used to do agency work at another private hospital ... she used to comment she never expected her barmaid experience to be useful on the ward (mixing g&t's for visitors).

[Vikkicat]

Originally Posted by GopherLass

This was my favourite line of your post. I love kids - but because I only have one - I can't help but filter all my expectations through my limited experience.

We just loved it down there on the coast - and apparently the "finds" are even better in the autumn and winter (because of storms). Bring your waterproofs in October, though!

I do know of The Rivers - I had to go there once for a test (not as part of this process, though). That's where R.C. and I were thinking about trying for the second opinion - any recommendations for neuros would be received most gratefully!

The Lister...(shudder)...Poot was born in America - and when DH saw the hospital he just stood there open-mouthed. "But this is like a SPA!"

"No, dear - this is like a CLEAN hospital."

Having said that, I felt very lucky to stumble into the care of Doctor Tap, who was both kind and competent. There were also a couple of lovely nurses and aides. And I had to have a porter walk me to one of the tests (because I was a "fall risk" or something like that) - and he was just a star with Poot (he called him "Habibi", bless).

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I don't know of a doc i could recommend - but i can ask the SIL who works there

I have 2 boys and they are both active but not physical, i think we keep them busy enough for them not to need to be destructive, and we are lucky enough where we live to have the open spaces for them to do that

Glad you had good care while in the hospital, TBH the in laws did, i really just do not like the hospital (maybe that is just me and all hospitals?)

[Melbatb]

Hi again April,

I actually wouldn't worry about the English bit of the boarding school. I think I have mentionned before that F started maternelle with no French! By Christmas she was speaking and understanding well. By the end of the school year she was fluent - and that was with speaking English at home.

Hopefully the school will continue to help TF channel his energy productively!

[princess allie]

Hi April, phew what a time you have been having! I'm glad the time with TF passed relatively easily, I too find it difficult to deal with some children's behaviour when it is so different to my own son. I never can understand the need for some kids to smash, break and kill! My ds went to Charmouth during his last week of term and came home with a few fossils, he was very pleased. We are lucky that it is just under an hour from us, so was a lovely end of term treat for his class. We are going to go as a family too, as we would all enjoy a day hunting for fossils.

I suffer with migraine and although I have never experienced it as severely as you, I do get numbness in my feet. I also get it in my face, tongue and hands. The pain in my head, feels like someone is drilling into my face alongside the hideous headache. I get disturbed vision which can take the form of weird shapes flashing before me, to loss of vision in one eye. I get nauseous and am sometimes sick. I am also terribly tired and need to just lie down in a darkened room till the worst is over. The following day, I feel completely washed out and lethargic. I now have a medication to take daily as a preventative and I am hoping it is lessening the frequency of my attacks, but it is too soon to tell at present. I have tried I think, just about every remedy available, but none work for me. Apparently 10% of the population is immune to the drugs. Lucky me to be in the 10% eh? I have also seen a worsening of my migraine as I have passed through my 40's and I believe that stress and hormones play a big part in my triggers. Obviously, you are younger than me, but could hormones be at play for you?

Sorry to waffle on. hopefully you will get to the bottom of your medical issues soon x

[Guest]

Originally Posted by BevS97

Oh boy. You have the patience of a saint. I would have had to buy that child a Burger King . And a bit of tv is good for language and understanding local humour.

I hope you get an answer to your headaches.

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Bev, I promise you - there is NOTHING saintly about me. Despite that, I wouldn't wish motorway services Burger King on my worst enemy - let alone a kid on his own in a foreign country.


I think SGP was concerned that because of the language barrier, we might just dump TF in front of the telly and leave him there. Obviously I would never do that - but she wasn't to know that, I suppose. We were complete strangers!


Thanks for your good wishes; I appreciate them -

[Guest]

Originally Posted by duchy

I spent some time in Israel, everyone spoke English and claimed to have learned from rock music, TV and films (everything is Subtitled as the Hebrew market isn't big enough to justify dubbing into Hebrew) so that's why most Israelis speak English with a strong American accent.

Bit of TV and movies wouldn't have hurt, I doubt there's going to be no TV at boarding school.

As for hospitals DS needed his adanoids out when he was three. It was three months to get see the specialist on the NHS plus however long to actually get an op date so luckily we were covered through OH's work so went privately in Wimbledon. OH turned up to pick us up and his comment was "I've stayed in four star hotels that weren't as nice as this room". The difference is insane. My ex flat mate was a nurse and used to do agency work at another private hospital ... she used to comment she never expected her barmaid experience to be useful on the ward (mixing g&t's for visitors).

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Outstanding - that's clearly the hospital for me!


And you are right, the difference is insane. If we didn't have private insurance I'd still be waiting to see the neurologist. R.C. has come in for it in this thread - but it's down to him that we have the insurance - as I am NOT GOOD with that sort of thing.

It's just so frustrating - the greatest share of our taxes goes to the NHS - and there are good people working in the system, but my overall experience has been BAD. I spent the worst night of my life at Addenbrooke's when Poot was tiny. The ward he was on was FILTHY (and you know I'm no neat freak) - and the bin was OVERFLOWING with medical waste. I found a nurse and asked if someone (not her, obviously) could be found to at least empty the bin. Her reply? "Cleaner goes home at three."

I was terrified that Poot (in with a blood infection) would never come out of that hospital. And you should have heard what SGP said to TF about the hospitals here!


The lads did watch "The Lego Movie" on my laptop - it didn't seem to do TF any harm.


PS: I think "Israeli English" is one of my least favourite accents. Almost as bad as New Jersey!

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Vikkicat

I don't know of a doc i could recommend - but i can ask the SIL who works there

I have 2 boys and they are both active but not physical, i think we keep them busy enough for them not to need to be destructive, and we are lucky enough where we live to have the open spaces for them to do that

Glad you had good care while in the hospital, TBH the in laws did, i really just do not like the hospital (maybe that is just me and all hospitals?)

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I should be most grateful for that, Vikkicat - thank you.

You make such a good point about open spaces - I don't think people are meant to live in boxes and work in cubicles - boys especially seem to struggle with that.

And the care at the Lister varied widely - the doctors I saw before Doctor Tap did NOT fill me with confidence. I hear you though on hospitals - I'd be quite happy to never set foot in one again.

Originally Posted by Melbatb

Hi again April,

I actually wouldn't worry about the English bit of the boarding school. I think I have mentioned before that F started maternelle with no French! By Christmas she was speaking and understanding well. By the end of the school year she was fluent - and that was with speaking English at home.

Hopefully the school will continue to help TF channel his energy productively!

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I'm sure you are right. And English is far easier to learn than French. And as you say, TF will be living it 24/7.

Your kids will be SO glad one day to speak both English and French as "natives". No matter how good my French is - I will always sound "not French".


And I know - I need to stop worrying - but I just can't help it - I'm a fretter.