What do you do...

[sammykitten]

Originally Posted by Excited6910

If someone wants to tag a long on your family holidays and you were really looking forward to it just being your household?

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"other people" need to be invited on our family household holidays, or they don't get to come with us. We've done that several times, and as long as they've been invited and they know what, if any, financial contribution is expected of them, then they're welcome.

Its not the same as going with just your immediate family, and it can be like herding cats if you actually want to plan anything. But thats not necessarily a bad thing, just different .

OP its difficult when its one extra person and they'd be sharing your space for the whole time, as you can't really disappear with "your" lot and leave them to their own devices. I think you've done the right thing in your situation.

[fl-veteran]

Originally Posted by Excited6910

I love this part of our family tree and we get along fine but we've been there and done it before and it was very hard to please everyone. We were let down a few times on plans too which was very difficult to explain to the 3 kids why we're now trudging somewhere else to do something different.

My fil wanted to join us and whilst it was ok at first there was a falling out or two in between asking and us booking and now we're thoroughly hlad he's not coming. I won't risk ruining such a magical expreience for our family and luckily DH is on board.

Thanks for all the replies. I think if it's mentioned again we'll just be honest

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Someone once said (much more eloquently than I can) - the conversation you don't want to have is probably the one you should have.

[Guest]

I feel very lucky . We go away with others quite often , especially when we're in the states . We always have a great time and this year's holiday is with my BIL and his family again. We've done Florida, NY and the west coast with them and always have a good time but if you don't want someone to come you just have to tell them , not worth ruining your holiday for

[reemur]

We go on holidays with our daughter & son in law we have 3 holidays booked together this year Always have a great time We all do our own thing & do things together
We also go on our own

[wanye]

we've been to florida with friends a few times now, and its been great

we all go off and do our own things (we had one car per couple), but there are an amount of things we did as a group - we got a 7 seater SUV and split the extra cost between the three couples. that way we could all go out in one car if we wanted to have a few drinks or save on parking fees.

in the run up, we had a shared tripit calendar so we could all add things we wanted to do to it. we could then see if anyone else had specific plans they were doing, and whether or not they could join them. we also had a few planning meeting meals... where we'd all go out somewhere with prints of the tripit, as well as ideas of other stuff to do, and plan things whilst having food and a few drinks.

i think as long as its clear what are "private" events, and each group have their own autonomy and pay their own way, it can work well. plus, its a great way to cut costs (a 4 bed villa between 6 of us cost less than two weeks in the cheapest possible dive hotel on i-drive) - plus there was always someone around in the evenings to stay up and have a beer with by the pool when your OH was knackered and wanted an early night

[neilhd]

We had some friends come "with" us once. They stayed at the same resort as us, and I just gave them a copy of our itinerary and said this is what we're doing, if you want to come along then great.

They mostly came but we didn't do literally everything together. Even if we went to the same parks on the same day we often ended up separating during the day. It worked pretty well actually.

Last time some other friends were there at the same time as us, so we met up a few times at parks and for dinner, and also arranged our HRH stay at the same time.

My DW is terrible for inviting people though. She invites anybody and everybody to come with us!

[Gusgusmummy]

Yes say no ! Don't ruin your own family holiday you deserve time away. When people ask me I just say no Florida is somewhere I go and suit myself and then I say I'm difficult to get on with anyway 😂 This is true

[avibelle]

a few years ago we went with extended family, there was 15 of us, before we went i asked them all round so we could plan what parks we wanted to visit etc, we all had input on things like restaurants visits to the beach etc, so we knew who wanted to go where or not as the case maybe, we got 3 large cars , and the holiday was great, my mum was overjoyed being with her 3 girls and grandchildren , only one fly in the ointment was with my ex brother in law who behaved like a spoiled brat till my dh and other brilw took him to one side and had a word, anyway if youre doubting if you should go on holiday with them then dont, if you decide to , then make a plan and plan days when its just you and yours ,im sure they would want time to themselves also, make sure you have youre own cars then youre not dependent on them and likewise good luck

[Excitedx4]

Simple answer is if you want to go alone as a single family unit then tell them! I wouldn't want to go with people that I didn't really want to and spend all that money to be annoyed over there. For us holiday is family time, husband works away mon to fri so time really is precious to us.