Eating disorder - DD admitted to The Priory - latest post 22nd sept 22

[4fromsuffolk]

I’m not very good with words - but I do know Emma will get through this setback. Take care all of you and remember to be kind to yourself too.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by walt4it

Can't make it any better for you-wish I could , but just know another Dad is reading this just willing you, and your whole family on so much.

You all need better back up than my words can provide.

To use your words above - It is beyond sad, and is beyond laughable.

No idea who to call on your behalf and hope someone reading this can - but pick up the phone to any source that can give you and your family the support you need. xx

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Thank you Walt.
I think as a family we are doing better than a few days ago.
The GP and the bone specialist seem to be on the same page and although Emma can't explain why she is struggling at the moment she still feels positive for the long term.
We have had some calm chats.
I escape on here , DW has a day a week at work, and DS has his Xbox
I'm hopeful that as things get back to normal, Emma will come back round again

[marypoppins38]

Oh my word BuryBoy, my heart goes out to you all. It’s so hard and frustrating for you all, all in different ways. I hope the combination of a release of lockdown and the new injections can help Emma turn the corner. The whole disruption of her life just at a time when she was so much better must have been horrible for her, bless her. You sound like the most amazing supportive parents, take care of yourselves as well.

[DiszeeBelle]

My heart goes out to you. Hopefully it wont be long and she will be hopefully back on the right track and road to recovery again.
I've read your posts for a while and commented but now reading more for support and what to do myself in them. My youngest (13) is going through episodes of not wanting to eat at all. More noticeable because we are in now due to lockdown so seeing it first hand. It has been on and off since juniors. She had her last episode when she took ill in november but normally a longer gap between them but this one has started when lockdown did. She just wont eat. She is a chocoholic so when stops eating that i know something is wrong. She won't tell me anything just keeps saying she is fine. She is doing 2-5km runs everyday since lockdown started plus workouts (i stopped her yesterday with the workout) but not eating. She is a competitive swimmer so knows she needs her calorie intake, i normally have the support of her coaches with her seeing them every night for training. School rang today for their fortnightly contact and i did tell her i was going to tell them and i did so school is now aware and said will make staff aware. Its just little comments she makes, we usually joke she is vain due to selfies she takes haha but lately its all been about looking good, wanting to look nice, comments about if we take photos she has to smile just right because she hates her teeth, her hair is annoying her and needs styling etc.

[Helenr]

I’ve followed your family's story for many years, and just wanted to offer my continued thoughts and best wishes for you all.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by DiszeeBelle

My heart goes out to you. Hopefully it wont be long and she will be hopefully back on the right track and road to recovery again.
I've read your posts for a while and commented but now reading more for support and what to do myself in them. My youngest (13) is going through episodes of not wanting to eat at all. More noticeable because we are in now due to lockdown so seeing it first hand. It has been on and off since juniors. She had her last episode when she took ill in november but normally a longer gap between them but this one has started when lockdown did. She just wont eat. She is a chocoholic so when stops eating that i know something is wrong. She won't tell me anything just keeps saying she is fine. She is doing 2-5km runs everyday since lockdown started plus workouts (i stopped her yesterday with the workout) but not eating. She is a competitive swimmer so knows she needs her calorie intake, i normally have the support of her coaches with her seeing them every night for training. School rang today for their fortnightly contact and i did tell her i was going to tell them and i did so school is now aware and said will make staff aware. Its just little comments she makes, we usually joke she is vain due to selfies she takes haha but lately its all been about looking good, wanting to look nice, comments about if we take photos she has to smile just right because she hates her teeth, her hair is annoying her and needs styling etc.

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Hi Diszebelle.
I am more than happy to help in any way I can.
Firstly it's great if you can spot signs early , wish we had.
One of the things about anorexics is they will lie. So you have potentially to not take things at face value . They will say things to make you feel better and to throw you off the scent.
What weight is you daughter and what height ?
Have you looked on the NHS bmi calcuator to see if her weight in itself is a problem ?
nhs.uk/live-well/healthy...mi-calculator/
Could it be that your daughter is just discovering boys , and wants to show herself of in the best light ? ( for FaceTime /zoom etc )
You need to stay ' onside' with your daughter . Make sure chats are friendly and constructive - talk to her about the long term risks of under eating ( use my DD as an example if you wish ) - and explain you are all ears if she is struggling , or if she doesn't understand why she is acting like she is.
If you are seriously concerned , explain to her that you will be sitting with her at mealtimes to ensure she finishes , restrict runs etc but tell her it's for her own benefit, it's not a punishment . Explain how She won't be able to swim fast with less strength and she wouldn't want to let her coaches down when she goes back swimming would she ? .
Try putting in extra butter / use full fat milk etc to try to get calories in her.

Best of luck.
Message me any time

[DiszeeBelle]

Originally Posted by buryboy

Hi Diszebelle.
I am more than happy to help in any way I can.
Firstly it's great if you can spot signs early , wish we had.
One of the things about anorexics is they will lie. So you have potentially to not take things at face value . They will say things to make you feel better and to throw you off the scent.
What weight is you daughter and what height ?
Have you looked on the NHS bmi calcuator to see if her weight in itself is a problem ?
nhs.uk/live-well/healthy...mi-calculator/
Could it be that your daughter is just discovering boys , and wants to show herself of in the best light ? ( for FaceTime /zoom etc )
You need to stay ' onside' with your daughter . Make sure chats are friendly and constructive - talk to her about the long term risks of under eating ( use my DD as an example if you wish ) - and explain you are all ears if she is struggling , or if she doesn't understand why she is acting like she is.
If you are seriously concerned , explain to her that you will be sitting with her at mealtimes to ensure she finishes , restrict runs etc but tell her it's for her own benefit, it's not a punishment . Explain how She won't be able to swim fast with less strength and she wouldn't want to let her coaches down when she goes back swimming would she ? .
Try putting in extra butter / use full fat milk etc to try to get calories in her.

Best of luck.
Message me any time

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Thank you so much.

[JoS]

It must be so very hard for Emma, and you all at the moment. I really hope with the depo injections it helps. I have no first hand experience of this awful illness, but my heart goes out to you all.

[corey1]

Sorry things have been more difficult recently. I have been reading your updates since you first posted and Emma has come such a long way and done so well. It must be so worrying and soul destroying watching her struggle so much just now. I am sure this is just a setback along the way. Hopefully with her new medication and getting back to work and a more structured routine you will see the improvements to her eating and anxiety levels once more.

[buryboy]

Quick update time.
Things have remained tough for the last few weeks.
The depo and the previous medication seem to have cofused Emma's body and ' things' are happening more often than they should .
Every time, that puts a dent in her ability to eat.
So weight has been going down ( it's not possible to just keep spending hours encouraging her each day , she needs to be responsible herself ) and anxiety going up.
DW took DD to M&S to try to cheer her up a couple of weeks ago and her anxieties were clear to the other staff.
They were great and one said ' you've gone back to how you were when you first started , but don't worry , we'll get you back on track'

And , today , was the first day of that. She started work again 😀 making preparations for the clothes side opening next week.
Hopefully in time the routine, the helping, the seeing others will get her motivated and enjoying life again. She took the opportunity by the sound of it , of having no family members behind her, to pretty much skip food while at work - so there is a clear downside , but you can't have everything.

Here's hoping the new normal and hopefully with an opening up of doctors/ therapists , she will come round again