Adult Children returning home

[Stella_11]

I'd just say no. Mine were horrible to live with towards the end. They have had the odd 'sleepover' since they moved out and it reminded me never to let them live with me ever again.

Our relationships are all so much better now that I don't have to pick up after my grown-up daughters anymore.
I have a lovely tidy house again and I know I sound selfish.
I would just give them the money for the deposit instead.

[djewkes]

This thread reminded me of a TV programme where all 4 adult kids moved back home...
I’ve had my adult children back home on occasions but they’re all settled in their own homes now (touch wood)... I would expect a contribution to living expenses if they moved home, as young adults they paid 25% of basic earnings (overtime didn’t count) even if it was just £5, they all accepted that. As grown adults it would be a sit down together discussion asking them what they thought reasonable... if I thought it was too much or too little then we’d negotiate... I would accept that they pay less if they’re earning less... if they were living on their own their costs would be fitting their earnings(ie less income cheaper housing) but at home they don’t have that choice...
I would also like some idea when they would be thinking of moving on... no pressure but I really wouldn’t want any of them at home indefinitely (much as I love them), too used to our own space these days...

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Not one person on here has worked out the answer to this issue.

Simple. The Parents sell their house and move but don't give the Children the new address.

Being serious. I think we are going to see ever more Children 'returning' as employment prospects diminish as they surely will. The view of my Wife and I is it's nice to see them come here but it's also nice to see them go.

[klr15]

There are definitely a lot of lucky people around. My mum would let me move back in with her if I had too (I’m 24), but I would have to pay half for everything and I’d have to do my own food and washing ect. My mum doesn’t work though and I’m her unofficial carer so our situation is different.

I’ve not had a penny from her since I was 18, no driving lessons, no help towards uni and no help for a house deposit and I had to pay half of the bills when I lived there, but I’m proud that I’ve managed everything on my own and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I just hope that some people realise how lucky they are with their parents help and that they don’t take it for granted!

[duchy]

Originally Posted by mitch84

Not in the slightest, we all moved out at 18 and never returned, as I said highly independent. It’s just a scenario. I just don’t understand begrudging your baby brother less keep whilst he’s young and earning less

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I do, you and your brother are seven years apart. With families where the kids are closer in age they tend to be more “competitive” and would want everything to be shared fairly.
You as a brother never had to compete as you and your brother were always at entirely different stages so never competed... if that makes sense.

[Pumpkin Pie]

Originally Posted by klr15

There are definitely a lot of lucky people around. My mum would let me move back in with her if I had too (I’m 24), but I would have to pay half for everything and I’d have to do my own food and washing ect. My mum doesn’t work though and I’m her unofficial carer so our situation is different.

I’ve not had a penny from her since I was 18, no driving lessons, no help towards uni and no help for a house deposit and I had to pay half of the bills when I lived there, but I’m proud that I’ve managed everything on my own and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I just hope that some people realise how lucky they are with their parents help and that they don’t take it for granted!

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I reckon a lot of us (much) older Dibbers were like you. Certainly my husband and I and everyone we know in our age group were expected to financially contribute if at home and also be financially independent - no handouts for anything. Looking back I think it’s for the best. It teaches you to work for what you want and not take things for granted.

I confess my children have been helped by us so I’m not sure what that says!

[Anne]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

Not one person on here has worked out the answer to this issue.

Simple. The Parents sell their house and move but don't give the Children the new address.

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I went to college with someone whose parents did this to him when he went to Uni

[djewkes]

I have a cousin who for her sons 21st told them it was time to move out... and they did... neither would be allowed to move back (I think) but they both have a good relationship with their mum and both survived just fine!... not something I could do though...

[Bobbins]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

Not one person on here has worked out the answer to this issue.

Simple. The Parents sell their house and move but don't give the Children the new address.

See more...

Our next door neighbours bought a bigger house when their kids moved back home!

At a time of their lives when they should have been down-sizing, they upsized.

[Guest]

Ask them what they think is fair. That's what I did with my daughter and it's worked well so far.

In answer to the OP though I thought the best suggestion offered was the one where they all clubbed together and rented a flat.

The three of them coming home together is going to be a lot of work for the OP whichever way you slice it up.

I definitely would not be making them wash separate loads for each of them, what a waste of energy not to mention the wear and tear on the machine.

Good luck OP whatever you decide to do. : - )