Ask me anything - Anorexia Nervosa

[buryboy]

So on the link below I suggested people set up ‘ ask me anything’ threads , where people can ask questions on a subject that the OP has a reasonable knowledge on.

https://www.thedibb.co.uk/forums/sho...0#post14948940

No-one took up the challenge , so here is me trying to get some traction for the idea .

I had a thought about what I know a bit about
- Bury AFC
- table tennis
- vimto
- drop 7 game
- being a Northerner 😂

But I felt they were a bit too specific so have decided to open up for any questions you may have on the eating disorder anorexia nervosa that our daughter suffers from and that Nikki Grahame suffered from before her sad death .
I am no expert but I will give it a go to answer any questions you may have .

Thanks , hope it triggers other , ‘ ask me anything’ threads.
( PS if any others want to add to any answers , feel free to do so )

[aqualiv]

Originally Posted by buryboy

So on the link below I suggested people set up ‘ ask me anything’ threads , where people can ask questions on a subject that the OP has a reasonable knowledge on.

https://www.thedibb.co.uk/forums/sho...0#post14948940

No-one took up the challenge , so here is me trying to get some traction for the idea .

I had a thought about what I know a bit about
- Bury AFC
- table tennis
- vimto
- drop 7 game
- being a Northerner 😂

Bit felt they were a bit too specific so have decided to open up for any questions you may have on the eating disorder anorexia nervosa that our daughter suffers from and that Nikki Grahame suffered from before her sad death .
I no expert but I will give it a go to answer any questions you may have .

Thanks , hope it triggers other , ‘ ask me anything’ threads.
( PS if any others want to add to any answers , feel free to do so )

See more...

I’m sure you’re being a northerner thread would generate interest from a certain dibber 😆

Also intrigued by your knowledge on Vimto

[Guest]

Thanks for starting this thread Buryboy. I have followed your families experience with interest. I have shared the pictures of your daughter's scrapbook and the link with friends who are experiencing similar challenges. I will come back on questions because I know I have some !

I also wanted to say that contrary to what you think, I have seen at least one other AMA thread, that one from Hexagon on Tourettes - so you have indeed seeded something positive.

Thank you.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by FamilyGWales

Thanks for starting this thread Buryboy. I have followed your families experience with interest. I have shared the pictures of your daughter's scrapbook and the link with friends who are experiencing similar challenges. I will come back on questions because I know I have some !

I also wanted to say that contrary to what you think, I have seen at least one other AMA thread, that one from Hexagon on Tourettes - so you have indeed seeded something positive.

Thank you.

See more...

It was Hexys great thread that gave me the idea to try to get others to share their knowledge of any given subject .

Whilst I am more than happy to answer any questions , my main hope from this thread is to try to stimulate others to start their own. I learned stuff on tourettes that I found so interesting from Hexagons thread .

[princess allie]

I’d like to understand a bit more about whether someone with anorexia sees themselves as fat, even though they are really thin? Or is there a mental issue with eating? I’ve never really understood what the “cause” is, or are there different things for different people? For someone to be putting their life at risk and still not eat is such an alien concept, although just writing this now, made me think that maybe it isn’t such an alien concept, as I’m overweight and I know it’s bad for my health, but I still make poor food choices, so maybe it’s kind of the opposite? Sorry I’m rambling a bit, but this is one of the things I’ve always wondered.

[disney1st timer]

In your experience, are there any tell tale signs that looking back, should have been a red flag?

[buryboy]

Thank you Allie .
Quite a few questions in there 😀.
Many ( but certainly not all ) anorexics do see themselves as being fatter than they actually are . Not necessarily fat ( ie obese ) just not as thin as they actually are .

There can be a massive mental issue with eating .
In some cases the mistaken belief as to what harm all the calories will do their body .
In others a feeling that with many things going on around them that they can’t control , that eating ( or not eating) is something that they ‘can’ control . Wanting control is one of the key attributes of an anorexic.
But the reality is the anorexia ends up controlling the individual rather than the individual controlling their eating. It takes over.
To my mind it is a mental issue predominantly , a physical issue second . ( though the physical normally starts first )

I have found the illogical nature of the illness the hardest to deal with. Still five years plus I to the illness , my daughter still can’t ( or won’t ) explain why she won’t eat a ‘normal’ amount of food- she just ‘ can’t ‘
She realises it’s doing her harm though.

There is no known cause . Or consistent cause . It’s often considered that negative life events can be the starting point. Something bad outside of the individuals control ( the bad life events ) gets ‘ equalised ‘ by the individual finding something they can control ( their eating )

Hope that helps a little

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by disney1st timer

In your experience, are there any tell take signs that looking back, should have been a red flag?

See more...

I think probably for us that she started having ‘ thins’ for lunch . Rather than wraps or proper sandwiches . I don’t think I realised it was every weekday as I left for work early and got home late , but it seemed a healthy option .
She also stopped having ‘ rubbish ‘ - crisps , biscuits , cake etc . But who thinks that is a bad thing .

I think she managed to hide her lack of eating from me by being able to eat regular portions at weekend and when I was home for tea etc.
And probably as a mummies girl she could ‘ get away’ with eating less around her mum . She was controlling us back then without us realising .
She must have started wearing clothes that managed to hide her weight loss . She has always been slim . We just didn’t realise the extent to which she was losing weight , and despite as it progressed ( us still unaware ) and it began being a problem she realised had gone too far and she was struggling to reverse herself , she never opened up to us . The anorexia was controlling her rather than her controlling her weight

[Guest]

Thanks Buryboy. Very informative. The issue of control is interesting. How do therapies and positive steps work, is there a potential route through by building confidence and crucially complete control over something else so can release contr on food. Or is it sort of too late once you get to that stage?

But if so what sort of thing can anyone completely control? I was thinking pet possibly, but with that comes responsibility. Is control with responsibility a positive or negative thing in this type of scenario?

[buryboy]

Good question FGW
I am not 100% sure but my instinct says a clear yes. I don’t think it’s ever too late. I certainly feel the more other things to focus on , the less the eating becomes ‘ brain central ‘ .

With regard to pets , I remember Loopyloo suggesting one for Emma . Her immediate answer was No , because of the mess they make and also because they die . Both bad things in their own right, but also showing that you can never completely control a pet.

There is I agree not a great deal that you can completely control .
Hence I think ‘ focus ‘ is probably as good as it gets.

The suicide rate in anorexics is huge - think I have read 50 times the general population - and again I think that is partly the thought of control .

One girl, who was in Emmas hospital 3 months before Emma was , committed suicide 5 days after being released from hospital . After an argument with her parents who wanted to stop her from exercising . To my mind , I think the poor girl was hoping to get some control back after being released from hospital , but then the realisation that she wasn’t going to get full control was too much for her , and that suicide was one thing she could control.

I have my own thoughts about why Nikki Grahame died the day after leaving hospital too.