Ben and Libby's Happily Ever After - October 2016 *Update 8 days to go, more daily plans!

[Minniemou]

Cant wait to hear more

[oh_darling]

The Decision

You join our intrepid couple at a key stage in the wedding planning process...trying to decide if they should get married in the UK, or Orlando. It was a pretty big decision and one they didn't want to enter into lightly...which one would they choose?

As I mentioned in the last installment, we went to visit Disney's Wedding Pavilion during our 2013 holiday. It was absolutely beautiful and I think even I was a little shocked by how amazing it actually was.

Shall we just remind ourselves!?







I'm not one of those girls who's spent years and years dreaming of her wedding...we'd been together so long I wasn't sure he'd ever propose! Hahaha juuuuust kidding. But seriously, I knew we'd get married one day and I knew it would be amazing, but I didn't have any ideas about the kind of day we'd have.

So we went to see the Pav, loved it, came home, and didn't do anything about the wedding for 6 months. Haha! We had our reasons though – we were in no real rush to get married (I know some girls want to get married within a year of getting engaged which is totally cool, but we were in no rush!) we had a bit of a faffy start to 2014 as our landlord announced he was selling the flat we lived in, so we had to find somewhere new to live. Then, we got our kitten. Then Ben got a new job. Sooooo there was a lot of change and upheaval in our little life, and the wedding was put on the backburner! By about May 2014 we'd started thinking seriously about what we wanted to do. For whatever reason, a Disney wedding kept coming up. Like I said before, it was never something we'd thought about as we weren't sure about family etc travelling, and we weren't sure if we'd even want to have such a small wedding. But before we'd even started looking at venues and what would be realistic, we kept coming back to Disney.

By late Spring, I had bought Carrie's book, started drawing up rough budgets for Disney weddings, researching all the different options, listening to Carrie's podcast and reading the various boards for information. I seriously started thinking that a Disney wedding could actually be the most awesome thing ever. We then broached the subject with a few members of our families, and people were surprisingly up for it! This made us even more excited and we started to think it could happen. Our rough idea was a Wishes wedding for about 24 people and 3 amazing weeks in WDW for our honeymoon.

By the Summer, I had drawn up an exact budget of what we'd need to save each month for a Wishes DFTW.



This saving plan, combined with Ben's job requirements (he works for a company that has school holidays off, so our wedding/honeymoon needed to fit in with this as we wanted to go for 3 weeks) meant we had our wedding month – October 2016. We have only ever been to Florida in October (I've been in the Summer with my family back in the day) and we love the weather, the crowds (although it is getting busier) the Food and Wine festival, and Halloween. Ben would get one week off for half term, and we'd have 1 week either side. We did discuss other months – May was a possibility but it would have to be 2017 as we couldn't save in time for 2016 and we didn't really want to wait any longer. August was an option but it would be HOT and busy and my Dad owns a tearooms and wouldn't be a fan of closing it during the busiest month. October was the best fit!

So, we had all these plans. And I pretty much knew exactly how our day would run, what would happen, what our colour scheme and theme would be, how much it would all cost, who would come...

But I couldn't make the decision! I know, it seems so crazy now. And it was crazy even at the time. I remember having a conversation with my friend Victoria about the day and I was telling her all the awesome stuff we had planned and getting so excited and she was like 'Errrr why are you even considering anything else!?'

Hmmmm. Well. There were a few reasons, mainly my chronic indecisiveness based on a couple of comments from some family members. I won't go into it too much here as things are all good now, but I had a couple of conversations with someone that just made me think we shouldn't do it over there To be fair, they weren't really being negative, but just kept saying how would we afford it, who would go over, wouldn't we prefer a small wedding over here if a small wedding was what we wanted, and save the rest of the money we'd spend towards a house deposit? All valid points. Well not really valid, but you know what I mean. Anyway we had a few horrible weeks of me being teary a lot of the time as I just couldn't decide what to do, coming home crying etc Ben was absolutely amazing during this time – it was HE who was pushing for a DFTW although I know he'd have let me do whatever I wanted – he's a babe like that, but he was frustrated that I was letting other people cloud my decision to do what we really wanted. And he was totally right! Unfortunately, the way my mind works is to need to know all the information before I can make a decision. I was being told we could have a lovely wedding over here for about 1/3rd of the cost of a Disney wedding...I knew this wasn't true as I had priced up weddings over here and 'lovely' weddings are not cheap, at least not in Hampshire! So, we decided to go and visit a few venues during the Autumn, so we could see what our money could get us in the UK, and if any venues matched the Wedding Pavilion in terms of amazing-ness (HA.)

I actually really enjoyed this part of the planning process From September onwards, most Sundays were spent just the two of us driving to different wedding venues for their open days and wedding fairs. We saw some really lovely venues; some we liked, some we didn’t feel were very ‘us’. I’m not a very outdoorsy girl (had you noticed! haha! ) and I wasn’t feelin’ whole shabby chic/festival vibe. We also didn’t feel the grand country halls were very us, and with prices for those types of venues starting at like £19k just for the venue and food….we were immediately put off! We were leaning towards the smaller venues where everyone could stay over and it would be like a long weekend of celebrations. However, one thing we didn’t like with these types of venues was that the rooms earmarked for civil ceremonies were quite often small and pokey and just not very…wow. For us, the ceremony is the most important part of the day, and I wanted to walk up an aisle that gave me chills *coughtheweddingpavilioncough* One venue we did like was The Olde Belle in Hurley; specifically The Malthouse, which was a lovely big Victorian manor house that you could rent out just for you and your guests, and spend the whole day in the house and lovely grounds. It was a bit offbeat and quirky and we really liked it.

Some photos of the Malthouse:











There were 13 bedrooms so lots of our guests could stay over, and it would be a wedding for about 50 people. However, once we added up the cost of the venue, food, DJ, transport etc etc….I'm not even joking, it was about the same price as we had for a Wishes wedding! I mean, come on. If it was like 5 or 6 grand cheaper, maybe it would have been a no brainer. But to pay the same!? Not what we’d expected! We were comparing the two and it was a bit like, end the wedding watching Wishes from the Grand Floridian after a day spent celebrating in our favourite place in the world, or end it stood in a small (albeit lovely) garden in the UK at the end of a very classic, very English, just not us, wedding day. Hmmm.

A selection of photos from our many, many visits to wedding open days...isn't he a good egg letting me go to all of these!?







This...is pretty much our worse nightmare for a ceremony room...



And just an example of a smaller ceremony room



This was the Clock Barn, a GORGEOUS barn venue but super expensive, like a lot more than Disney!





Horseys outside!



I think it was about December when I finally reached my breaking part. I was seriously starting to annoy even MYSELF with my constant indecisiveness and second guessing about where to get married. I just needed to say we were getting married in Florida, accept it, and not think about any other venues or getting married in the UK. I also needed to not worry what anyone else thought – 10 years from now our wedding will be a distant memory for most of our guests, but for me and Ben it will have been the best day of our lives. Did we really want to look back and think…hey, I wish we’d got married where we really want to, and did what we really wanted to do, and not worried about anyone else. Whenever I thought about walking down the aisle at the Wedding Pavilion, I got all teary and soppy. When I imagined myself walking down a tiny aisle in the drawing room of a fancy country house...well lets just say, I couldn't imagine it.

So, I just said to Ben, let’s get married in Florida. He was like FINALLY hahhaa It felt SO GOOD to just say it out loud, and honestly, my mind instantly felt calmer and less stressed. I also gave the certain someone who was making me second guess our decision a massive document with loads of info about the wedding on that we'd compiled over the previous months. It had a full itinerary of the day with timings etc, as they had been worried about that. It had a rough budget, with projected savings plan. It also had a list of pros and cons for getting not married in Florida. The one, solitary pro? “People wouldn't have to travel.” Doesn't that say it all!? That's all I was worried about! But I'd moved past it – we aren't expecting everyone we invite to come, we know it's a flippin long way, and we'll be over the moon with anyone who decides they would like to join us The document was a success and coupled with my announcement that we had chosen to get married in Florida and that was our final decision, it's all been good since. Phew! It's hard to imagine how stressed out I was at the time but it's okay now. To be honest, if we announced tomorrow that we've changed our minds and we're getting married in the UK, I recon they'd be chuffed haha. But, I need to be okay with the fact that they probably would prefer it if we got married in the UK. And I'm okay with that.

So, it was official!

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN WALT DISNEY WORLD!

Wow, that was insanely long. Hope y'all are with me! We're getting onto the good stuff next, some ACTUAL PLANNING!

[jcourt39]

What an agonising time for you. So glad you went with your dream, as you say in 10 years a wedding is a distant memory to guests...although in this case it will be the most memorable wedding they will ever attend...ever! You're doing them a favour really
Looking forward to plans.
Rachael x x x

[ljbojangles]

So glad you decided to go with what you truly wanted!

we were met with quite a bit of negativity from certain people when we said we wanted to get married abroad - some even rang my DH in tears saying that they were so upset that they couldn't come and now they are going to miss out and how they always wanted to be there for his wedding - can't beat a bit of emotional blackmail!

At the end of the day your wedding is about the two of you - nobody else! The most important people will be there - or try their very hardest

Can't wait to read more!

[Redrach1903]

Oh hun, I know exactly how you feel about letting other people clouding your decision! I was the same. I kept saying to Chris in the beginning that people would think we were selfish to be getting married in Florida and he was like “eh no, it’s our day and what we want is more important than what anyone thinks” and he was so right. I am SO happy we are doing it this way I had a few snidey comments from people, but I have also had amazing support from people too. Just the other day my cousin said "Rach, you were always going to get married in Orlando. It was just a question of who the groom would be!" HAHAHAHA!

I am so excited for you both to have your dream wedding! It will be AMAZING! Can't wait to read more of your plans! xxx

[welsh wizard]

So sad that you had all that stress and I'm so excited for you now that you've made the decision! Now for the fun part all that planning! Good luck and I can't wait for you to share x

[Yorkie Girl]

Phew, glad you got there eventually!

I think you two are one of the cutest couples I've ever 'known' and I'm glad you made the right decision to get married where you wanted to get married

Oh and I love the pics of Ben's hair from back in the day

looking forward to reading more plans

[Donz23]

Loving your plans so far! I know exactly how you feel; deciding to get married abroad is not an easy decision, especially when friends and family are concerned! You've made the right decision though I'm sure you will have a fabulous time!

[Rossalino]

Looking forward to reading more

[lovedisney89]

Ah bless you, that must have been so difficult deciding but like others have said you have definitely made the right decision and you won't look back in a few years and regret it Can't wait to hear how the planning is going xx