RSVP Rant

[Leanne1977]

This is exactly why we got married in Florida with just the kids and my in-laws. I couldn’t be doing with all this, it would wind me right up! 😡

[djewkes]

When my mum died we just catered for lots of people, when my aunt passed they asked for numbers (more than once) catered just for that number and not the extra 20 or so who showed, the food ran out extremely quickly... I was one of a number who didn’t get any food despite replying... I wasn’t that bothered just a bit peeved at all those with huge platefuls...

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by Ladyshopper

It's really annoying isn't it? We got married in Orlando in December, and had a party at home in January for friends and family. It was all very low key, and I deliberately didn't want catering that charged per head for exactly this reason.

Lot's of people didn't RSVP, and then we had about 10 people who just didn't bother turning up, and a few others who cancelled on the day. I totally understand things happen, and the ones that cancelled on the day and let me know I have no problem with at all.

I do think it's very rude that some people just didn't even bother acknowledging the invite and replying to it (we did it all by facebook messenger, so could see that messages had been read), and was quite disappointed in people that didn't turn up and didn't bother to contact us (and actually haven't heard from since).

I wouldn't dream of not replying to an invite, but clearly these days it seems to be quite a common thing.

We still had a fantastic time, we also had a live band who were brilliant, and we just danced the night away! Enjoy your celebration, I'm sure it will be fab even if there are people who are a no-show.

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I'm glad you had a lovely time, and I know we will too, I'm not really cross, I just have a bit of a cold and I'm sat at work stewing a bit.

We thought about hiring a hall and caterers etc, but it would just mean then we needed transport and all one place just seemed easier.

Personally I would never dream of not replying, or not checking my diary properly.
The message I sent to people basically said, 'Hi, I wonder if you could let me know if you and XX are planning on coming to the party, as I have to go into the hotel on the 9th March and pay final numbers. Hopefully you can as would love to see you there, but if not we completely understand, just let us know so we can take you off our lists'

So they knew it was a charge per head.. I'd feel awful, but I bet they aren't giving it a second thought. We're just smiling though and going yes yes, no problem

[Lucyjane45xxx]

I feel your pain! We got married last June and I wasn't bothered about the evening numbers at all as they venue had a pizza oven and just made the pizzas on demand and only charged us for what was used, but we had 8 people pull out of the daytime less than 2 weeks to go (all my now-husband's family) and it cost a fortune per head! I was pretty mad!

A family of 3 people all decided they weren't coming because their cat-sitter cancelled on them ... I wish I was joking!

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by djewkes

When my mum died we just catered for lots of people, when my aunt passed they asked for numbers (more than once) catered just for that number and not the extra 20 or so who showed, the food ran out extremely quickly... I was one of a number who didn’t get any food despite replying... I wasn’t that bothered just a bit peeved at all those with huge platefuls...

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That's annoying, and yes I'd never take loads if I saw there wasn't much left, that's rude.

We're definitely going to be in the overcatered side of things, as we did message everyone who we had invited who we hadn't heard from one way or another, and ask them their intentions for the final numbers. On reflection I defo should have taken 10 to 20% off that number, but I just didn't think to..

[djewkes]

I always overcater anyway, but at least you don’t mind if the extra one or two turns up...

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by Lucyjane45xxx

I feel your pain! We got married last June and I wasn't bothered about the evening numbers at all as they venue had a pizza oven and just made the pizzas on demand and only charged us for what was used, but we had 8 people pull out of the daytime less than 2 weeks to go (all my now-husband's family) and it cost a fortune per head! I was pretty mad!

A family of 3 people all decided they weren't coming because their cat-sitter cancelled on them ... I wish I was joking!

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OMG! I wouldn't have been happy about that.

We did have one old fella RSVP yes to the day (but not the night) and then the day I after paid final numbers and ordered the table plan etc, say he wasn't coming. I actually was a bit cross because it was then too late to upgrade anyone, and there are lots of good friends/family only coming to the evening.

Anyway it turned out he didn't have a suit and felt conscious, so FIL to be took him to Debenhams sale and we're all sorted again..

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by djewkes

I always overcater anyway, but at least you don’t mind if the extra one or two turns up...

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No I'll be pleased its not wasted in this case

[Scaramouche]

This is my worry. Our venue is an hour away and I’m worried people won’t turn up for the evening. And we’re having an extra 90! We have to pay for every guest for the evening, there is no reduction we have to pay for 100%. Our venue is £96 a head for the day and £17.50 a head for the evening.

I am dreading the RSVP process!

[Weddingnyc]

No one rsvp’d for my kids party and I was mad, so I can’t imagine how cross and upset you are. Unfortunately people not rsvping and not turning up seems to be common, it’s happened to two relatives recently, who have had small weddings. My cousins only 3 work friends didn’t show, that must have been awkward on Monday morning :/
Try and remember the bigger picture, and don’t get bogged down with other peoples issues, I hope you have a lovely day.