Teenagers and parties

[ginwithaslice]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

I know it never happens any more. But we must remember years gone by when Children were working at a younger age and thus were given more responsibility for themselves.

At 15 I was on the Buildings as an Apprentice, working on roofs with no safety gear, going to the Pub and buying my own drinks with no issues at all.

However I suspect my Parents still worried!

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So true, my DH had his own flat at 16 and was working, and I went to London to waitress for a summer at 17, going out to see bands, to bars and to nightclubs.
Now my 15 year old is at that facing the adult world stage albeit in small stages and it's hard to negotiate.
Some of his friends have started drinking but he's not that interested. I'd beware of putting too many restrictions on teenagers though, I'd imagine they find a way of doing it anyway but they just hide that aspect of their lives from you, which is a worry too.

[duchy]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

I know it never happens any more. But we must remember years gone by when Children were working at a younger age and thus were given more responsibility for themselves.

At 15 I was on the Buildings as an Apprentice, working on roofs with no safety gear, going to the Pub and buying my own drinks with no issues at all.

However I suspect my Parents still worried!

See more...

Same, at 16 I was commuting into London and working in a job where socialising in the pub (lunchtime as well as after work) was the norm as well as clubbing and gigs. How I managed working on so little sleep I’ll never know , couldn’t do it now!
That was the norm back then , once you left school you were given adult perks but you were also expected to behave like an adult .
Once I was paying keep I didn’t have a curfew but my Dad still wanted to pick me up late at night mind you

[munmun]

As a youngster like many others I was out in pubs, drinking alcohol and generally having a great time. I still managed to have a good, productive life post my halcyon days. I wonder what parents think is going to happen to their children?

My two though older now were never told they couldn't do something. We always sat down discussed the issue, was it a school day, was all the home work done, what did they consider the problems might be etc etc and we always managed a compromise that we all respected.

Simply saying no to a young person is counterproductive. Compromised and discussion is the way forward

[Custancia]

Just wanted to say to OP, I would trust your gut instinct, you know your child and how to keep them safe. The fact you’re reflecting on it shows what a good and caring parent you are.

As others have said, we have all tried on the “but everyone else’s parents let them”… it’s absolutely natural as a teen, testing out the way into independence by pushing boundaries, so hardly surprising our kids do it too. (And teens rarely say, “Mum actually I think you’re being a bit too lax, and I’d appreciate you putting in place some stricter boundaries please”!)

Being able to discuss and compromise shows you’ve a great relationship.

[WhereIBelong]

I had 2 opposites...
Dd20, outgoing, parties, bit of booze.
DD19, bit of a loner, no parties, out with one or 2 others, little bit of booze.

Both have said, since going off to uni that we got it right in the main... we were a little strict. Parties, fine if not a school night. Dad picks up at midnight.

If they didn't want to go out but were being pressed ... mum here was the bad guy.

Always told them that I'd take the blame WHENEVER they felt they didn't want to do something "mum says no", "mum would ground me for a year", "not allowed, mum said..." they didn't even need to ask, though it was funny sometimes when they said "mum, you said I couldn't go to xyz on Saturday ok?"

[MaryMendes]

My DD17 has been going to 18th birthday house parties for the last couple of months & went OTT at the first one & came home drunk.

There seemed little point making a big deal of it as she need s to learn for herself but I just ask her to be sensible now.

Luckily there have been no stopovers as I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that.

I’ve also had the ‘but the others are allowed…’ thing.