Divorce

[littlelish0544]

Apologies if I have misunderstood...but part of your plan is to be in the house, putting the kids to bed etc, then leaving when he gets home?
That would rip me apart every time and I dont think would be good for the kids either.
And as others have mentioned, what if he meets someone else? Would you be ok with her replacing you for this? And what if you meet someone else... what time are you giving yourself to have a life? Children come first, but you need to be your own person too.

[KarenG]

Please please don’t make any decisions while you are at your most vulnerable and definitely definitely get legal advice. Very best wishes at this time xx

[Colette-S]

Get legal advice before you do anything else or sign anything. Don’t dismiss your contribution to the family. He is able to work and earn that wage as you are caring for the children thus enabling him to go to work. This is the view that the family courts take

[Bridget]

Sorry you are going through all this - it's a very difficult time I know.

But do stand your ground. If it's him that wants the divorce then he should be the one who leaves the matrimonial home. Do not move out even if you feel like you want out of the situation. Have you sought some legal advice?
x

[munmun]

I don't know what your husband has said or done to you to make you accept this proposition but f
honestly it's rediculous.

You work 16 hours because you care for your joint children not because you choose to. Now comes my harsh bit and I'm sorry to say it but it is now time to pull on your big girls pants and stand up for what you deserve, are entitled to and need.

You need to live with your children, you need to stop agreeing to silly arrangements that will hurt you and your children and only help your husband.

He has made a choice but now he wants thing to remain comfortable for him and for you to fit around that. Stand up and fight for your rights.

Sorry for the rant but I hate to see women (or men) beaten down without understanding their rights and needs.

[Colette-S]

Some great advice on here but also some unsuitable advice.
Get proper legal advice ASAP. Over the years I had many clients who were advised by a man in the pub, someone they met in the post office etc and it was never always good advice!
Only an expert with full disclosure and of your situation can advise you on the correct procedure for you and your children
I’m sure everyone on here will continue to support you emotionally

[CarolynU]

Please take heed of what everyone on here is advising.
Circumstances change. What seems logical right now could be a disaster going forwards for you and your relationship with your children.
Don’t race into anything. Seek the appropriate legal advice from the experts in their field.

[babbymint]

Please take heed of all the advice on here and seek legal advice before you do anything. I grew up in a broken home, and I’ve experienced my own divorce, and while it seems horrific now, things improve. Please don’t do Anything hastily that you may regret in the future. Children are exceptionally resilient, and as long as they have your love they will accept change now and understand in the future the decisions that you will make.
Personally I would not feel comfortable leaving them in his home, how long before he moves in a new partner? Sorry to be so blunt, but this is the reality that you will have to deal with, don’t let your fragile emotional state make your decisions at the moment. Xx

[GoldenAvalanche]

You will get a good amount of support working 16 hours with children, if you walk away you will not get much support and will then find it much more challenging to support your children. Don't let him walk all over you like this, you have rights, seek the help of a solicitor.

[DisneyStacey]

I have been in a similar situation to you.

It was a bolt from nowhere.

I don’t want to go into my financial situation at the time, but believe me when I say it was not good. I felt like there was no way out and no way forward for me.

My dad booked me a free 30 minute consultation with a solicitor and I have never felt more empowered then when I walked out that room.

Don’t hesitate and go and get some legal advice! It will be invaluable and give you the tools you need to help you navigate your way through this.

On a personal level you have been given some amazing advice so far.

Do not agree to anything or sign anything until you have spoken to a solicitor.

Take your time - there is no rush. Don’t be pressured into anything.

If you need a friend I am here day or night, on this thread or by PM. And if you live near me I’d be happy to meet for a coffee to be your sounding board. I know how much I needed support from friends when I was in your situation. Please lean on anyone you can, don’t try and carry this alone.

Sending you a huge hug xx