Wedding planning - gone wrong

[90sdisney]

Just need a vent and a sympathetic eye, maybe a couple of stories of other people’s experiences too!

We have been planning our May wedding for a while and my goodness, it has not been plain sailing at all. From the heart breaking to the mildly annoying.
We have had:

Our venue cancel on us, York city council decided to shut the mansion house for refurb while we had ceremony booked.

Our wedding licences for getting married in England refused, now having the legals done in Scotland. A very expensive 9 day stay in England wasted.

We were meant to be making our rings this weekend but were informed of a bereavement in the family of the lady we were doing the class with, a few days ago. Postponed to a month before the wedding.

I had my dress fitting this weekend and the lady doing it, once she found out I was related to someone who owned a wedding venue, spent the rest of the 20 mins I was there telling me she thought it was overpriced.

We found out this week that The Shambles would be under “extensive” scaffolding the week we get married. I chose a weekday because I thought it would be quieter and we could have slightly less crowds photos on that street… good one. Photos mean a lot to me.

It was parents evening this week. The one day a year I have to see my ex husband and he gave me another earful about how much anxiety our divorce still causes him. Which has made me feel absolutely awful.

I’m now poised and waiting for The Ivy to tell me it’s gone into administration.

But it will all be worth it in the end right? 😅

[princessnicki]

York is absolutely stunning and i am sure you will still get some fabulous pictures. We were there on a Saturday recently and it was pretty quiet until the evening as it was before payday weekend, so i am sure you will be fine during the week. I hope everything runs smoother for you in the last few weeks

[Sparksy72]

I agree with Nicki, York is beautiful and I’m sure you will get lovely photos. It has obviously been tough on the lead up but it sounds as though you are being very resilient. The best bit is the actual getting married to your favourite person. I hope things calm down for you now.

[discoclare]

So sorry to hear this. I've never even heard of anyone having a marriage license refused!
I'm sure you can find some good places for photos.
I'm not sure how old your child is, but for future reference if they are primary you may be able to have separate meetings with the teacher. Secondary probably won't have capacity to facilitate that. The primary I am a governor at definitely will see parents separately if needed and do this on occasion. Doesn't happen often as, to be honest, for most separate couples where there is conflict (at least at our school) they don't both want to attend parents evening.
Good luck with the wedding and hope the day goes smoothly.

[90sdisney]

Originally Posted by discoclare

So sorry to hear this. I've never even heard of anyone having a marriage license refused!
I'm sure you can find some good places for photos.
I'm not sure how old your child is, but for future reference if they are primary you may be able to have separate meetings with the teacher. Secondary probably won't have capacity to facilitate that. The primary I am a governor at definitely will see parents separately if needed and do this on occasion. Doesn't happen often as, to be honest, for most separate couples where there is conflict (at least at our school) they don't both want to attend parents evening.
Good luck with the wedding and hope the day goes smoothly.

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Second year of secondary school. Neither one of us wants to slack in the parental duties so there’s another 4 parents evening to go. We are very civil, he just made me feel very sad and uncomfortable.

Getting the licence refused was horrible. The guy was really nasty and kept saying he didn’t understand why we wanted to get married in England when we lived in Scotland. At an office 15 miles from where I was born and a mile from where my grandmother is buried 🙄

[Floridafan]

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone getting the licence refused for something like this. I wonder if it’s the same with other Great British nations? Is York trying to get independence? This makes me feel like this guy was having a bad day. I agree with everyone else that York is beautiful and there are lots of photo opportunities. I’m sure you’ll have an amazing day and it will be something that you will laugh about in years to come. Best wishes 💍

[90sdisney]

Originally Posted by Floridafan

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone getting the licence refused for something like this. I wonder if it’s the same with other Great British nations? Is York trying to get independence? This makes me feel like this guy was having a bad day. I agree with everyone else that York is beautiful and there are lots of photo opportunities. I’m sure you’ll have an amazing day and it will be something that you will laugh about in years to come. Best wishes 💍

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It’s crazy rule that if you don’t live in England, but wish to get married there… you have to “reside” with a friend or family for 9 days prior to your wedding licence appointment. He was definitely having a bad day.

[Floridafan]

I never knew that. Think things have changed since I got married - 46 years ago on Monday! 😁

[Leggibone]

Hugs!
York is gorgeous, a good photographer will make sure you get the kinda shots you want!
Your ex is an ex for a reason, remember that, don’t let him guilt trip you, you’re allowed to move on with your life.
Sounds like you need a few positive things - so do something nice (even if it’s taking a few mins with a tea to reflect of how lovely your dress if going to look, or how nice it will be to wear rings you’ve made together)

[BevS97]

Just reading about this as it’s so crazy.
To get married in England or Wales, you have to reside in any English or Welsh parish for 7 days and can then get married in another one.

Looks like Scotland is not included as it has no residency requirements, so we can go and get married in Scotland but Scots can’t come here.

Never knew that. Seems like an unintended consequence.