How much to give to child at Uni

[Florida virgin]

My dd is off to Chester in September, we have saved for her since she was born and has a large sum of money behind her.

Her rent will be covered by her student loan and we have said she can take £100 out of her savings per month and we will give her £100pm - she is also planning on getting a pt job which will supplement her - if not she will have to budget accordingly!

Surely uni life is about being skint, learning to budget and making them stand on their own two feet?

[duchy]

Originally Posted by Florida virgin

- she is also planning on getting a pt job which will supplement her - if not she will have to budget accordingly!

Surely uni life is about being skint, learning to budget and making them stand on their own two feet?

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I think for many young adults ( which is what they are ...not children) it's a learning curve but times have changed. Often it's the first time many kids have worked , fed themselves, budgeted . I was catching a bus from the uni (yes I didn't have a parking pass <grin> ) and was chatting to a lass from one of my tutorials. She was asking me if there was an Argos locally as she needed a TV cable. I said there was, just around the corner from the bus station. She told me in her three weeks there she hadn't left campus except to get a taxi to the station to get the train home at weekends and didn't know where "town " was. (She'd actually been getting a taxi to a further station as she didn't realize town was closer).
She was gobsmacked to discover town was five minutes on the bus and had all her favourite stores etc (where she'd got the cab to was much smaller) .
I took her into town and showed her around (and introduced her to the concept of student discount) .
I was glad to help but I thought it was awful that she'd spent three weeks believing her campus was stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing near the campus. Had she come from a small town it might have being more understandable but her family home was in Wembley and she was quite savvy and streetwise but because she'd gone home every weekend she'd stayed in halls quite isolated and unaware of what was available locally. A part time job or the need for one locally would have got her out of isolation a lot sooner . As adults we'd have found these things out and assume our kids would do the same ... but if they've never needed to discover a new area they sometimes need a push.

[Maxymoo]

I think for each family and young adult it is a v individual thing. My ds 18 went off when he was still 17, has aspergers and dyslexia and has only ever lived in a v isolated town a long where from anywhere else so his life experience is v different to mine was at his age ( travelled a lot been to 14 schools dad in air force and been to barding school) In his first yr it was such an enormous change for him (which he struggles with) I wanted him to have time to get used lectures , where he lives, make friends etc without having to also worry about getting a job. So he has been supported as much as I can afford but I don't think over the top. He has had to budget and hasn't needed to ever ask me for anything extra and paid for everything out of money given to him from his loan.
He has been working over the summer (again a new experience) and saved some money and has saved the deposit for his new house. Over time I do expect him to get more independent and he knows when he is in the 4th yr his younger brother will be going into the first yr (hopefully) and I wont be able to support him then or much less so- I am hoping over this next yr he will get a part time Job and slowly become more indendant

[Sandra & co]

My son lived off his loan, when it run out I gave him money to live on. The more he had the more he spent, hes back home trying to get a job and its not going well! £50 a week is enough for food, but if they are socialising they need about £100, my mum helped out loads!

[scoobydooby]

Originally Posted by duchy

I'm assuming you realise the discussion has broadened and isn't just about you and your son.
Others have shared that there are alternatives , if you simply wanted affirmation that yours was the only way rather than a broader range of opinions, you really should have said. My comments were in response to the comments of being a "bad" parent if not giving a young adult a generous allowance but much less if anything. It isn't just about you

Of course if your son can't find work in his uni town then he'd need to travel home every single weekend, and if you live very remotely with no train line then the cheaper travel with a rail card wouldn't work. Hopefully that will change and he finds something better though as most students who start off having to go home every weekend find they are missing out and understandably prefer to work closer to uni by the end of the first year.
I'd make sure he definitely can get parking though , just because he can pay doesn't mean there isn't a waiting list for permits. Most campus have a parking problem and use various measures to deal with it . Students with disabilities or living at home students with long commutes tend to get them as essentials but often others don't. A lot simply don't have the room once all the faculty have parked to accommodate even a fraction of students who'd like to park.

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He doesn't want work in his Uni town he wants to keep his current job which will then have extended hours available in the holidays. He's not on a campus University. And yes obviously enough we researched the parking situation. There is no parking on campus for any students. There is parking at Halls which is what he needed.

I was looking for what others do. Not affirmation. Not veiled accusations.

[BevS97]

My dd is going in September. Her loan doesn't quite cover her accommodation but she's been working over the summer to fund the balance. She could have chosen cheaper accommodation but I preferred her to be nearer the uni rather than a bus ride away as we didn't know the areas in Nottingham to make an informed decision.

I think she will have £200/month to live off and I'm hoping she will get a job as well. I currently pay for her phone so will continue to do that.

I'm not sure how it will pan out yet. We will have to play it by ear.

[scoobydooby]

Thanks everyone this has been very helpful. Oddly he just got an e mail about parking about half an hour ago so that's all sorted out now. He's going to have £126 per week with his maintainence loan and own wages which is more than enough I've decided. I will pay his accommodation, parking, car insurance, phone and contact lenses. Job done 🙂

[Mrs Toolman]

We have paid the shortfall between our kids maintenance loan and their halls in their first years as they only got the minimum loan. They both worked part time and that paid for their food and socialising. We probably topped up their asda student card with £100 a term and that was it. My son graduated in June and only needed to use his savings to cover living whilst waiting for his first months wages - he was very lucky to get a job at the Ford Research Plant in June - he's an automotive engineer. We are very proud that both our children have worked hard to financially support themselves. We could have given more financially but feel they have learnt a lot of life skills this way.

[duchy]

Originally Posted by Sandra & co

My son lived off his loan, when it run out I gave him money to live on. The more he had the more he spent, hes back home trying to get a job and its not going well! £50 a week is enough for food, but if they are socialising they need about £100, my mum helped out loads!

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It's difficult but inevitably extra money will be spent on socialising . That said many students spend nothing like £50 on their social life a week. They use the cheaper SU bar , have more private get togethers and bars and clubs are a treat rather than routine.

I have friends who instead of extra cash did delivery shops of mainly food but with a bit of beer or wine. They said that way at least they knew they were eating and not spending everything on beer and living off noodles !

[bluedave]

Interesting reading the different viewpoints as I've just been discussing with DH how much to give our daughter. IF she gets to her first choice uni then a place in halls is around £6700/year for self catering. I thought £75/week for food @ drink and obviously we'd pay the train fare whenever she wanted to come home.

My husband thinks £75/week is nowhere near enough and should be a minimum of £100/week so that she can enjoy the full student experience. She's not really a drinker but I guess that could change!

I think start low and increase if need be but we'll discuss further IF she gets the grades needed on Thursday.