I am a warrior but... DD has anorexia... GOOD NEWS UPDATE POST 64!

[Dazed]

Originally Posted by buryboy

I have so many questions . Sadly no magic answers but with a BMI of 14 I think the best thing is to keep her off school ( can she get work sent home ?) as it’s getting dangerously low . ( DD BMI was 13 when hospitalised ) Dazed must be measuring her sons BMI incorrectly

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I think I must be. I use the NHS calculator online. It says ‘below 1’ but has said this for years now. My other boys are all in the healthy range although varying BMI. I think it’s because it’s talking about centiles due to age. If I put him in as 18 and an adult his BMI is ‘15.6 Underweight.’

[DonnaD]

Originally Posted by Dazed

I think I must be. I use the NHS calculator online. It says ‘below 1’ but has said this for years now. My other boys are all in the healthy range although varying BMI. I think it’s because it’s talking about centiles due to age. If I put him in as 18 and an adult his BMI is ‘15.6 Underweight.’

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That is a very misleading calculator! It isn't telling you his BMI at all. 1st centile refers to his ranking compared to other boys his age not the actual BMI referred to in the other posts. It is saying 99% of boys his age have a higher BMI.

[buryboy]

Morning Ali
Hope all is ok this morning
Just realised I said Emma’s BMI was 13 when she was admitted , it was actually 12 - so while 14 isn’t a great number , it’s not quite as low relatively as I was thinking . ( though I suspect had the intervention been quicker in Emma’s case , they would have put her in hospital at a higher BMI then 12 )

A couple of other things to look out for - does your DD have lots of ‘ fear foods’ - foods she really struggles with ? And does she take forever to eat food and does she cut it up into tiny pieces ?
All signs as to how deep it’s hitting her
Obviously the more ‘ normal’ the better and the better the chance of turning things round more easily

[alibeau]

BB - thank you again.

We are all ok but again not too much time at the mo to focus on a reply but I am giving a lot of thought to your points raised.

All v useful and appreciated.

DD has counseling later today which is good.

I’ll catch up with you soon.

Huge thanks again.

Ali x

[Dazed]

Originally Posted by DonnaD

That is a very misleading calculator! It isn't telling you his BMI at all. 1st centile refers to his ranking compared to other boys his age not the actual BMI referred to in the other posts. It is saying 99% of boys his age have a higher BMI.

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Yes it is. His actual BMI is currently 15, underweight and ‘please see a doctor/nurse’ (he won’t be).
He’s been below the 1st centile for years and years, as long as I can remember. At 14yrs old he was only 4.5 stone (anxiety driven) so he is doing amazingly well to be 8 stone now at 17.
He is fussy with his food the last couple of years, takes forever to eat, forgets to eat, can’t be bothered to eat, too busy to eat. All the usual reasons/excuses, he’s happy though. He went to the gym for the first time last night with friends and that does concern me as he doesn’t eat enough calories to be burning any extra at the gym!

Anyway, I hope your daughter is doing ok on her new eating plan after the vomiting the first day Ali. Look after yourself and when you have the energy to reply in a few days/weeks let us know how she gets on 💜

[ChoppyGirl]

I feel for you Ali. You have all been through such a lot that it's no surprise that your DD has lost her appetite.

Does the school have any kind of councillor that she could speak to? My DD went through a stage in her early teens where she didn't really eat and also self-harmed. She saw someone at CAHMS but didn't feel they were much help at all. She saw a councillor at school and seemed to be able to speak to her much better and things were sorted.

It's probably right that concern was shown by CAHMS but sometimes there are other options apart from them.

[alibeau]

Thanks all so much, I desperately want to address everyone’s points but just don’t have enough time at the mo….

In a nutshell, we are off to our CAMHS family meeting shortly.

I have read all the literature they provided. So much of it just does not fit our situation but a few elements do…

DD was able to air her thoughts and frustrations re her diagnosis with her (private not CAMHS) counsellor yday…

I have to say that at this point I am not sure that the CAMHS approach is for us….. but let’s see what this afternoon brings.

Thanks again.

Ali x

[KarenG]

I really hope your meeting goes well. I can completely empathise as I have been living this situation since last May.

I don’t know if it’s a regional thing or something else but we tried various ways of getting counselling or support for our DD last year but apparently her BMI was too low for anything except the ED route.

We found that our previously very open and honest daughter became secretive and lied about food / exercise / other things and on top of the other obvious emotional difficulty of seeing her become so unwell, that in itself was very distressing. But I now realise it was the ED talking, not her.

Please do drop me a PM if you ever want to offload about anything xx

[buryboy]

Evening Ali.
I know you are all ‘ anorexia’d out’ at the moment but just typing things as they come to me for you to read back later .

I know you are dubious that your DD actually has anorexia . Hence why I am suggesting things that might help you identify signs .

One other thing you may find useful ( if somewhat difficult ) to watch is the Louis Theroux documentary I have linked below



bbc/programmes/b09d5nk2

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by KarenG

I really hope your meeting goes well. I can completely empathise as I have been living this situation since last May.

I don’t know if it’s a regional thing or something else but we tried various ways of getting counselling or support for our DD last year but apparently her BMI was too low for anything except the ED route.

We found that our previously very open and honest daughter became secretive and lied about food / exercise / other things and on top of the other obvious emotional difficulty of seeing her become so unwell, that in itself was very distressing. But I now realise it was the ED talking, not her.

Please do drop me a PM if you ever want to offload about anything xx

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Karen . Sad to hear your DD has been having difficulties.Again anything you feel I can assist with or just be a sounding board over , please drop me a line .