Depression and anxiety

[Daisyduck07]

I know I’m not alone and that many people are suffering more than ever with depression and anxiety. I’ve seen a few posts on here and I just wondered what helpful tips people have for battling with it?

My story is that I’ve suffered on and off for 14 years but never committed to getting help. I also suffer with trichotillamania and these unfortunately go hand in hand and when I’m bad I feel like I’m battling against the world just to act normal. I have seen a serious decline in myself since lockdown and am seriously considering now getting help. Whilst I have suffered with depression for a long time, anxiety is new to me. I now lie awake until early hours of the morning worrying about accidents/illnesses and my children dying. I’m not sure what has triggered such random thoughts but my anxiety about accidents is starting to effect daily life. I can barely be a passenger in a car without a near on panic attack and have found myself shouting at my kids not to run, to be careful, don’t trip, watch the step etc and being fearful of them getting on buses or walking anywhere. It sounds minor when I write it down but honestly it’s becoming a real problem.

I’ve tried eating better and exercising but lead a busy life (work full time and mum of 3) and end up feeling like a failure that I can’t keep on top of that and everything else so then feel depressed again and so the vicious circuit continues. I’m really at a loss of what to do other than admit defeat and ask for antidepressants. It’s so sad reading this back to realise I am literally at a loss of what to do to be able to feel happy. I have a great husband, 3 wonderful kids, a beautiful home and we get nice holidays. I can’t help but wonder what is wrong with me that this isn’t all enough to be happy and at peace.

Sorry this has turned into a really long post! There is also a lot more that I just can’t sum up in a post but any help would be much appreciated. It’s a lonely world inside your own feelings that people just won’t understand.

[Island mamma]

Why would it be admitting defeat to ask for antidepressants? Maybe it could be a form of taking control to recognise that you may need that help and to discuss the option with your GP. Mental illness is just as real as physical illness, but you wouldn't see it as failure to take an antibiotic for a chest infection if you needed one.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression (and still take antidepressants to help me keep my mental health on an even keel) and found some advice from my psychiatric nurse really helpful.
First thing is to look up mindfulness techniques. There are several options and it doesn't matter which you choose, but they really help to redirect your thoughts when anxiety is running away from you.
Second is small goals. Before going to bed at night set yourself a single achievable goal for the next day. Can be something as simple as tidying your sock drawer, but it helps to know that you set and achieved your goal.
Third is to move every day, whether it's a short walk or putting on some music and dancing for 10 minutes. It all helps.
Fourth is to be kind to yourself and plan a small treat each day - half an hour with a good book, a bubble bath, a posh coffee, a phone call with a good friend - something that brings you pleasure.
A good book to have a look at is "Depressive Illness. The curse of the strong" by Dr Tim Cantopher.
Good luck, and please talk to your GP about the options, including medication, to help you.

[Rac20]

I’m so sorry that you are feeling like this. Anxiety doesn’t care whether you have a nice car, house, beautiful children or ten million sitting in the bank so you have every right to feel like you do regardless of what your life is like.
Reading your post, I get the feeling that quite honestly you need a break. Working full time and 3 children is a big commitment even with a loving and supporting husband. When you are constantly on the go all the time, your adrenaline is pumping and it kind of gets in to a cycle and it’s hard to then forget your body to calm down- cue the anxiety.
You are not a failure for taking anti-depressants. I’m sure that you would take paracetamol for a fever or headache or to manage high blood pressure etc. This is no different. I took Citalopram for about 18 months. It really worked for me and kind of helped to reset my thinking.
Try take time in the day to have a nice relaxing bath, read a book, listen to music. These will help give your mind a bit of a rest.
I’m not an expert on anxiety - these are just ideas based on my own experience of living through it.
Good luck. 💗

[caj]

If you had a broken arm,would it be admitting defeat if you had a cast put on for a while?

If you need support of meds or a form of therapy then that's just that. Support.

[Loopylooloo]

Am so sorry you are feeling like this, there are many fantastic suggestions by the previous posters, which I can only echo, and I would like to add a hug. 🤗 I hope that you feel better soon.

[megaflyer]

You need to seek help and there is a variety of options out there but none of them are a quick fix. Anti depressants may well work to some extent but it cant take months if not years to find the one that suits you and has full effect - in my experiences it is very hit and miss. Mirtazapine works with both depression and anxiety and maybe one worth discussing with your GP ? I have found side effects of to it are minimal but if I miss a dose I have severe dizzy spells so important fo rme to take at exactly same time each evening and have zero alcohol .

Also maybe look for a good therapist- your GP may help with triage therapy. CBP works for some with anxiety but it made mine much worse - but I dont regret trying it and was 8 weeks of one hour a week - loads of homework to do (which I did diligently ) but dint work for me (NHS funded) now I pay privately for a therapist and he is marvellous and so much improvement in such a short space of time

Bottom line is you need to be kind to yourself . Seek help and talk to it . I find social media helps me but some cyber bullying on every single forum (even the Dibb) exists and its good sometimes to take a break but take control and report it to the police who have a great with my reports on aggressive homophobic online comments and I have a contact I speak too - report-it.uk/home

[Disneyphile]

I echo what previous posters have said. I am a CBT therapist for Healthy minds in the NHS. CBT can be really helpful to some people with anxiety and/or depression. As said before it is not a quick fix and you will need to do quite a bit of work in your own time. Where I work you can self refer to us online without needing to see your GP, so you may like to check whether that is possible in your area. On our website we also have lots of self help guides and information with you may find useful.
I’m not sure if we are allowed to add links to websites but if you google self help healthy minds, you should find it.

If you are considering taking medication please speak with your GP, they will talk you through what all your options are. You could also try downloading a mindfulness app such as Headspace or Calm. Take care.

[Loopylooloo]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

I echo what previous posters have said. I am a CBT therapist for Healthy minds in the NHS. CBT can be really helpful to some people with anxiety and/or depression. As said before it is not a quick fix and you will need to do quite a bit of work in your own time. Where I work you can self refer to us online without needing to see your GP, so you may like to check whether that is possible in your area. On our website we also have lots of self help guides and information with you may find useful.
I’m not sure if we are allowed to add links to websites but if you google self help healthy minds, you should find it.

If you are considering taking medication please speak with your GP, they will talk you through what all your options are. You could also try downloading a mindfulness app such as Headspace or Calm. Take care.

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I heard Headspace is a good app!

[megaflyer]

Originally Posted by Loopylooloo

I heard Headspace is a good app!

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I use Smiling Mind as Headspace stressed me and also practice Kundalini from Glo (also taken up yoga and have a private instructor who is also a dear friend so feel safe and doesn’t feed my anxiety and that is amazing (over zoom))

[JudyC]

First of all be kind to yourself. Exercise is great for lifting the spirits yes, but it's understandable that with three children and a busy life it's another pressure. Walking and taking the children with you might be more manageable, let them splash in the puddles. Do you have any open spaces or nature reserves nearby, just being in a natural environment can help.