Are we doing the right thing...

[Guest]

I'm so sorry to hear of your dilemma but also applaud your intention to make good memories with your family. Having worked in mental health/elderly care I would say if you have concerns it is worth asking his GP & considering the following 1)how long has he been diagnosed...there is a specific trajectory of decline in alzheimers but other factors/aspects of his health may impact on this 2)is he insureable. For me, the issues of the journey, the jetlag, the "busyness" of USA & the associated costs of healthcare problems once in the US would make me nervous of taking someone with dementia on this sort of holiday. Stress(even "good"stress associated with going on hols) can make symptoms appear much worse & if your family want him in his best state of mind you may want to consider a nice relaxed family holiday closer to home. What trips did he do as a youngster with his parents or as a young married man with you when u were a child? It can be lovely to trigger memories of good family times that you shared when you were a child.

[Talland 2016]

Originally Posted by cls123

I'm so sorry to hear of your dilemma but also applaud your intention to make good memories with your family. Having worked in mental health/elderly care I would say if you have concerns it is worth asking his GP & considering the following 1)how long has he been diagnosed...there is a specific trajectory of decline in alzheimers but other factors/aspects of his health may impact on this 2)is he insureable. For me, the issues of the journey, the jetlag, the "busyness" of USA & the associated costs of healthcare problems once in the US would make me nervous of taking someone with dementia on this sort of holiday. Stress(even "good"stress associated with going on hols) can make symptoms appear much worse & if your family want him in his best state of mind you may want to consider a nice relaxed family holiday closer to home. What trips did he do as a youngster with his parents or as a young married man with you when u were a child? It can be lovely to trigger memories of good family times that you shared when you were a child.

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This sums up how my father in law was on a long weekend away in the UK
He got very anxious and was constantly getting his things/ trying to wander off, as he wanted to go home
This led to MIL getting upset and snapping at him for ' ruining it for everyone ', he was then upset as he couldn't fathom out what he had done wrong and they both ended up in tears.
After the break away SIL ( whose idea it was) said that in hindsight she'd probably booked it as she wanted it to happen rather than viewing it from her Dads perspective
Maybe try a long weekend/ few days away in the UK to see how everyone copes . Maybe short flight to ?Scotland to see how he manages
Not sure which airport you are flying from but some do lanyards to identify people which hidden conditions which may be useful
Again depending on which airport you are flying from it may be worth booking fast track security screening to speed up the process and request special assistance with the airline
Also as others have said go through travel insurance with a fine tooth comb.
Good luck with whatever you decide
It's such a horrible condition, my Dad had vascular dementia and deteriorated in quite significant steps
Sending hugs xxxx

[Guest]

It’s such a special place for a family holiday but, stating the obvious it’s also a very long journey to a lot of new experiences. You obviously have concerns given that you brought it forward and it seems your Mum also has concerns.
In your position I think I would gather facts.
Medical advice from your Dad’s GP or specialist as to his probable fitness to travel.
Travel insurance - you need a watertight policy and make sure that the medical screening aspect for your Dad is comprehensive. You can get a policy for the group, or linked policies or be prepared to take the financial hit. Eg someone is taken ill and you have to stay on past the end of the holiday.
Stay flexible for as long as possible as regards your Dad and Mum on this holiday.
Have a plan B - worst case alternative holiday or just flexibility when you are there.

Good luck.

[Talland 2016]

Another thought
Have you considered a shorter break to Disneyland Paris, we Dad manage a train journey/ shorter flight easier

[2littleboys]

Thanks you for all the replies, lots to think about.

I am going to speak with my dads Mental Health specialist today and see what she thinks. I have also looked at getting him a "Hidden Illness badge" for example "I have Alzheimers - please be patient" as it might help others understand why he is so slow and gets a little confused sometimes.

We went to Tenerife last year with my parents and my dad was great, he loves flying and he loves watching films so I think he could be ok with the long haul flight with a good choice of films.

We have had no incidents of my dad getting upset or disorientated yet, however as has already been said I know May is a while away and we will need to continue to review the situation.

[DebsMK]

Both my Dad and my MIL have different forms of dementia. My Dad has had it for 5 years and he is deteriorating slowly, my MIL was diagnosed last year and in the last 7 weeks has deteriorated rapidly. She sees people, can't dress properly, has accidents, wanders in her sleep etc etc. It would be impossible to take her anywhere, even a visit to the shops is very stressful, my Dad on the other hand would be 'manageable'. I just wanted to say that each case is so different, but like others have said, take all precautions just in case there is a sudden rapid decline.

[mrs rcch]

Originally Posted by 2littleboys

We go to Florida in 27 weeks. This will be our 4th time however we are taking my parents along with us this time.

My dad has Alzheimer's and his condition is starting to deteriorate slightly. My mum was desperate to go one last holiday with him so we booked for October 19, however we decided to bring it forward 6 months and have changed it to May. Im questioning whether we are doing the right thing taking him though as my mum asked me at the weekend what I thought.

He has a good quality of life, is still mobile, knows who everybody is etc he just struggles with speech and is very slow and quiet but he listens in to our conversations and laughs and chuckles if we are being funny.

We will be staying 4 nights in a Club Room at RPR then 10 nights in a 5 bedroom villa in Highgate Park. I think it could still be a relaxing holiday for my mum and dad, they don't need to do the parks all the time and I really think he will enjoy the villa, he is still a good swimmer and always enjoyed that so I think he will love his own pool.

I would welcome any thoughts and advice.

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Can I ask, what made your Mother ask ? Do you think your Dad could be doing things that you haven’t witnessed, and your Mum doesn’t know how to tell you, or want to let you down ?

Is he OK being left by himself at home?
Would you be able to leave him in a strange villa with your Mum, or would he become distressed that he couldn’t find anything ?

After watching my late father struggle with Alzheimer’s for 5 years, I have to admit I wouldn’t have taken him with my family to Disney.
I would have gone on weekends away with him, then if he went into meltdown, it would be easy to get home, and back to familiar surroundings.

Obviously, I am looking at worse case scenario, it’s such a horrible disease, and everyone is different.

I send you my very best wishes,

[2littleboys]

I think my mum asked because he is so slow and quiet now. There hasn’t been any instances of him getting lost or not recognising people etc.

At the moment he can still be left alone for short periods of time.