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16 Aug 16, 10:06 PM |
#71
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Guest
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I have 2 young boys so no teens yet but I remember my teen yrs and what would be going on with me and how my parents dealt with it and I think I've turned out pretty well,
my parents used to sit me down and chat it through and at the time I found it really difficult to deal with but it kept things calm and they were resolved. they were firm but fair and I was praised when things were going well. I find my hubby can be similar to your description of your DW with our 5 yr old where he chastises him a bit too much for everything and i find it irritating and I think if I feel that way how does my son feel. hopefully this is a phase your son is going through and establishing and redefining boundaries will help with a little bit of input from him. Good luck I'm dreading the teenage years 😂🚶🏼 |
16 Aug 16, 10:35 PM |
#72
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Imagineer
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I have 3 boys of my own only one is in the teen years, others two are 10 and 7. I've had no issues whatsoever regarding attitude or behaviour so far. I work with teenagers in a residential setting and generally see positive results from doing exactly as Geoffa suggests! Talk WITH them and most importantly LISTEN to what they have to say. I'm very laid back personally but have clear boundaries and most importantly be consistent in your approach. Constant chastisement just creates a breeding ground for unacceptable behaviours. In actual fact if someone was on at me all the time I don't think I would view a bad attitude towards them as an unacceptable behaviour.
It's so difficult being a parent and we are allowed to get it wrong, none of us is perfect however I think it's great that you are seeking advice on approaches you can take to make for a more harmonious household. |
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16 Aug 16, 11:22 PM |
#73
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Trying for More Ears
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I think it's lovely that so many people have taken the time to try and share their experiences with you , aren't people lovely?
You have seen lots of good advice and I'm sure I couldn't improve upon the ideas for communication, relationship building etc., all good. I would only add, as a mum of DD15+DS13, to be kind to yourself too. We had a DREADFUL experience with DD during our precious time in Florida when she was 12/13 yrs, I love her enormously but at that time she was so awful it nearly ruined the hols for everyone and it really didn't seem like she cared. Nearly broke my heart to lose my angel and have her replaced by a rude, selfish, angry stranger. Hubby and I adopted many of the approaches spoken about, no quick fixes and very hard work. Two years later, the hormones have subsided a bit, she's grown up a bit and I have my daughter back. In the meantime it can be rough between mum and dad and lots of tears cos you don't understand what you MUST be doing wrong. I feel for you both, your wife will be feeling the same too I'm sure. Just remember to be kind to yourself while you wait it out. Someone once described parenting to me as the hardest job they had ever had, and for which they had the least qualifications and training. You're doing your best. X
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17 Aug 16, 05:59 AM |
#74
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Imagineer
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I could have written this. Ds turns 12 in a couple of weeks and he's become unbearable some days. He refuses to leave the house, so any trip out ends in a screaming match and banning from phones, tv, xboxs, etc which induces further huffing. Proper miserable little so and so, we're currently sat at CDG so he best keep his inner monster at bay during this holiday
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17 Aug 16, 05:59 AM |
#75
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Imagineer
Join Date: Mar 02
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