Mr & Mrs Ulsterscot Eat Orlando - Day Three

[ulsterscot]

Day Three

I was wakened by the delicate tones of a string quartet, nudging me towards wakefulness as Mrs Ulsterscot gently caressed my brow, whilst reciting a poem she had composed, reflecting on our three years together as man and wife.

Yeah. Some chance.

I was woken by Mrs Ulsterscot flicking my ears and telling me that if I wanted to avoid a divorce, I should "move your butt into the shower" and quickly. She is such a delicate little flower.

In fact, I went again for a morning swim as Mrs Ulsterscot tended to her womanly needs. The state of my swim shorts was becoming a problem. More for other people in the pool than for me, actually. For some reason, the waistband seemed to have lost all its elastic properties and swimming at more than one mile per hour resulted in the shorts heading for the ankles at considerable speed. The boards round the pool prohibiting wee-ing in the water also made it pretty clear that full frontal nudity was at least frowned upon, if not actually illegal in the state of Florida, so "swim shorts" were added to the shopping list. Upon communicating this to Mrs Ulsterscot, she helpfully noted that if I continued to eat at the rate we had set thus far on the holiday, the current shorts would more than likely fit at least one of the bellies. "Oh yeah, Happy Anniversary", she quipped over her retreating shoulder.

Driving through my tears, we made our way to Walmart on Sandlake Road for a few bits and pieces before heading for the Florida Mall. Our preferred anchor store in the Mall had always been Burdines - styled "The Florida Store" in the marketing blurb. However, last year Macy's had taken over Burdines and much of the store paraphernalia had been re-branded. Up to that point, the name of the store had remained unchanged, but this year it had gone. The only remaining element of the old branding was the old slogan which is, literally, set in stone at the Mall Entrance.



Mrs Ulsterscot has developed a strategy for shopping in the Malls. Although it might be amusing (and partially accurate) to suggest that this involves the breaking of my spirit at an early point, it in fact revolves around scouting visits in the run up to Memorial Day, followed by the unleashing of the credit cards on the Holiday. We took a turn round Macy's and I conducted my emergency purchase of a pair of swim shorts. I was a little offended that Mrs Ulsterscot was less than enthused by my promise of a catwalk style fashion show later in the evening but, hiding my disappointment, I turned my attention to the Oakley Store, which has always been one of my personal favourites.

It was only thanks to the restraint exerted (sometimes physically) by my good lady, that I didn't simply hand over my wallet to the shop assistants, inviting them to "help yourselves". Some of you may be aware that there was a little discussion on The DIBB before I left of "sun screen" T-Shirts which dry quickly and are suitable for wear at the Water Parks. I can report that Oakley also sell these - and they have one less in stock at this point.

Next on the agenda were the traditional laps of the Food Court. After sampling the wares of the Asian joint, the Chinese, Chick-Fil-A, the Chinese and many, many more, we settled for our traditional Philly Cheesesteaks from Charley's Steakery. Very nice indeed. We went for the meals and left the Mall with appetites sated.

We returned to the Villa where we got dolled up for the evening. Well, Mrs Ulsterscot did. I applied a further skoosh of deodorant and changed my shorts. As we left the Villa Mrs Ulsterscot was muttering about nominating me for "Queer Eye for the Disgustingly Messy Guy Who Never Makes an Effort".

We arrived in the environs of the Grand Floridian at about 7.45pm and then it really kicked off. There was no problem gaining access to the compound and the Security bloke helpfully pointed out the Valet service which I cheerily declined, opting to keep my mitts on the five bucks and park the chariot myself. As Mrs Ulsterscot affectionately twittered "Tight Wad", I followed the signs for parking and we sailed past the front of the Hotel, the Conference Centre and out towards ... um... well, that's where it all went a bit wrong. Clearly, Disney would really have much preferred it for us to have availed of the valet service and, by way of punishment, decided to hide the signs for the car park. Defeating their devilish scheme, ten minutes later the car park had been located. As we screeched to a halt at the automatic barrier, I loudly proclaimed the evening to be back on track and willed the barrier to lift. My powers of willing aren't what they were and the barrier determined that it would be going nowhere. No amount of revving the engine could alter its course, and a little reversing and driving up again still wouldn't do the trick.

By now, Mrs Ulsterscot was bellowing from the window of the car that she required the service of a divorce attorney.

Unbowed by this minor inconvenience I adopted my tried and tested remedy for situations such as this and drove round the area at increasing speed, ignoring stop signs, yelling at my wife to "turn the flaming radio off" and screaming "they'll not beat me, they'll not beat me". This was the ideal start to an Anniversary Meal. Seriously, couldn't have been better.

Seeing another guest motoring towards the car lot, I whizzed up behind them and finally the barrier complied.

Walking over to the Hotel Entrance in stony silence, I reflected on my obstinate streak. I'm pretty sure Mrs Ulsterscot was reflecting on that streak too. She certainly seemed to be.

The frost melted away as we entered the Hotel. The Grand Floridian lives up to its name with great elegance. Although we were now edging towards lateness, we were greeted at the entrance to Citrico's on the first floor with a smile and were told that we would be seated within about 10 minutes.



We put our marriage back on track in the waiting area and were then ushered to our seats in the back of the restaurant, with a view out towards the Magic Kingdom.

On the way to the table, we were directed to the counter on the left where the desserts were displayed. They all looked mightily impressive and we drooled our way towards our places. Handing us the Menu, the Waiter said "Congratulations" and as we looked down, we saw they had headed our menus with "Happy Anniversary!" - a very nice touch and a great start to the meal.

Taking our time to consider the menu, our selections were, for Mrs Ulsterscot, Sauteed Shrimp followed by Oak Grilled Filet of Beef and for me, Gateau of Crab with Braised Veal Shank for my main course. The food was great, although our general feeling was that my dishes were to be preferred - particularly the veal. Stomachs protruding to an obscene degree, we laughed in the face of decency and went for dessert. I had the cheesecake, which was a truly architectural construction, and Mrs Ulsterscot nibbled at the Creme Brulee. Again, the Disney Touch was evident, with "Happy Anniversary" piped in chocolate around the edge of the plates. We were impressed.



As we finished our dessert, we were treated to the "Wishes" show from the Magic Kingdom just outside the window, which was truly spectacular.



The whole thing came to $124.28 - which was more than reasonable - bearing in mind the uniqueness of the experience - and comparing the cost that you would face for a similar meal back home. In fact, in those terms, it was an absolute bargain!

We took a turn round the grounds and down to the shore before returning to the car and a thankfully less eventful departure than arrival.

All in all, it was a great way to cap off our Anniversary and has made for a very pleasant memory of our three year mark - clearly, excluding the parking fiasco.

Back to villa and off to the land of nod. Three stone heavier.

[Guest]

Truly romantic! (except of course the bit about the parking and the swim shorts)

[Guest]

We took a turn round the grounds and down to the shore before returning to the car and a thankfully less eventful departure than arrival.

See more...

Hmmmm hope you weren't trying anything naughty on


wee lovers birds


BOKE


jj...

[Guest]

What a lovely way to spend your Anniversary.


Jools

[Guest]

We know that car park - we did exactly the same thing! But we then decided on Valet Parking! So no "tight wads" here?

Glad you had a good time.

Jane

[Chelle27]

Aaww how sweet! Glad you had a lovely meal.

[Guest]

Sounds like a lovely meal. Hands up to the car park thing here as well. Ended up parking in the wedding chapel car park as my dad was too embarrassed to go through the security booth again and admit we couldn't work out how to enter the 'cheap seat' parking!

[Guest]

waiting patiently for part 4... dum de dum de dum
de dum de dum

[Guest]

LOL

[Guest]

hi mr & mrs ulsterscot - hope you enjoyed your anniversary, it seemed great. i have enjoyed reading your trip reports and had a laugh.
we too are celebrating our anniversary on august 24th, did your meal include any drinks/alcohol - seems reasonable price.
we are also going from dublin on august 3rd for 4 weeks - car park is expensive - was wondering what time your flight left and what time did you get the bus from belfast. our flight leaves at 1.15pm. was there plenty of seats available on the bus.
we have booked into hotel in dublin for august 2nd but if went on bus would save about £200 - which would be extra spends for hols.
sorry for all the questions. will put you back to sleep
enjoy the rest of your holiday
looking forward to reading day 4
nat25go