Utterly Heartbroken and Devastated

[corey1]

Sorry you are going through such a difficult time at the moment.
Things will get better with time although it may be difficult to believe that now. Wishing you and your daughter all the best in the future x

[honeybun1989]

So sorry you and your daughter are going through this!
Thinking of you both xx

[cheekydeeky]

Ten years ago I was blissfully married to my soulmate who I’d been with for ten years.

Had I not been studying for a degree I would never have unravelled the double life my husband was leading. Multiple women, men and transsexuals, cross dressing and on swinging websites stating he was “willing to travel”. My world literally collapsed around me. It was like a bereavement as the man I loved didn’t exist anymore (actually, he had never existed - our relationship was based on lies, deceit and betrayal).

It was a tough time, I bought him out of the house and struggled financially for a long time. I trusted nobody which was the worst bit for me as it was a complete change to the person I had always been.

A year down the line I went for counselling which I wish I had done sooner.

Fast forward ten years and I am happily married to a very patient, loving man who understands why I had some trust issues but gave me every reason to trust him and none to doubt him . You will get through this and come out the other side. Sending lots of love to you and your daughter xx

[Custancia]

So sorry that you are going through this. It sounds incredibly hard on you - which is entirely reasonable given you’re grieving for the relationship and life you had with him, and trying to make sense out of a dreadful situation which has been shaped by his deceitful behaviour rather than anything you could have controlled.
Your brain will be constantly trying to make sense of what has happened, and why, which is exhausting.
Make sure you take proper care of yourself, as you need to continue to be strong for both yourself and your daughter.
These are awful times, but it will slowly get better. And we’re here on the Dibb to support you.

[duchy]

Your daughter is right he has cheated on you both but ultimately he has shown you he’s not the man you believed he was and you do need time to mourn that loss before you can healthily move forward , but you will no matter how impossible it feels right now.
My then husband did the same and one of the things I really struggled with was he was always the good guy who hated cheating, yet he cheated with someone he actually didn’t care about (and she spent the next two years trying to get him to care as much as she did ... until he cheated on her too... something I admit did make me smile, like you we all knew each other and had worked together , as did his new girlfriend ... idiot that he was)
Moving forward I’m very happily remarried, he has moved to the US but according to his mother moans like mad about his new wife and isn’t happy.
I was devastated but time does heal , trite as it sounds . Gradually you’ll have more good days than bad days and you’ll think of him less and less and become indifferent to him .
Hang on in there , it will get better ... and more quickly than you’d believe at the moment xx

[Daisy_Do_72]

Another one here that went through the same 8 years ago.

It’s a shocking horrible time, a real rollercoaster of emotions, but like others said, it will get easier.

I had to spend an afternoon with my ex a few weeks ago to settle our DD into uni... all I can say is I had a lucky escape... he’s a total stress head... and I’m well rid.

I’m with a new man who loves and respects me and treats my girls as if they are his own. I never imagined I’d be in this position 8 years ago.

Ex is grumpy and miserable and I don’t care. Karma!

Be kind to yourself, take one day at a time and we are here if you need us. X

[macdonald]

Feel sorry for him, karma is far bigger bitch that you could ever be!...

[Toria]

I didn't want to read and not post...

I think firstly you need to know that there is nothing wrong with you.. You are good enough and him leaving is an issue with him. I had a breakup and it wasn't until someone explained to me that It was a loss and I was grieving I kinda understood that and just thought ok i'll get through this.

You don't have to be strong all the time and if you want to cry do it, if you want to vent do it. The Dibb is here and we are great listeners and hopefully we can try and build you back up a little... Just know you will get through this.

Take care of you and your daughter x

[DisneyStacey]

Thank you again everyone.

It was only at a family barbecue at the end of August that all of his family were saying how strong and in love we looked, and he told his mum that he couldn’t live without me.
I just can’t make sense of any of it.

I have always said that cheating is my red line of no return. That I would never be able to go back from that. I don’t want to lie in bed at night and wonder if he really loves me, or if there’s someone else, or if he’s going to leave again. But now I’m having moments of weakness, where I just think I want him back.

Apart from a couple of texts where he’s asked if he can come to the house to pick up some stuff, I haven’t heard a word from him since I found out and asked him to leave. And haven’t physically spoken a word to him at all.

I don’t even know if he misses me. I feel so pathetic.

I used to be such a strong minded, no nonsense sort of person. I thought I still was, but this has shown me that I’m absolutely not.
Feel like I don’t know how to be me without him.

Sorry for the rant again.
It helps a little putting it all down.
X

[Colette-S]

Each day at a time op, you sound really lovely. He doesn’t deserve you and your lovely daughter. Things will get better xx