Struggling with silly stuff

[Lisa-72]

Not sure why I’m feeling like this, have never been a very sociable person and can honestly say I have zero friends. Those I did consider “friends” have let me down and used me.
Feeling very tearful all the time silly things like my car not connecting to CarPlay I’ve nearly had a meltdown about.
Aside from husband and my parents I have no other family, my grown up children have chosen to have little contact with me since I left their father 5 years ago-I was in a bad place mentally, the job I had then left me with zero self confidence.

I’m feeling more days where I just can’t get motivated, not wanting to get dressed, wash my hair etc. I know I have to for work days but weekends I just want to hide away. I put off going shopping, going out anywhere. I just want to be away from everything.
We are due to go away in 4 weeks, our first proper holiday in 2 years(I know this is the same for most of us). I’m dreading being around people in the airport, people sitting next to me.
The holiday will do us both good but I’m stressing about crowds, the noise, wearing a face mask for the airport and then 4 plus hours on the plane.

I’m just not myself anymore.

[Blue nose]

It sounds like the holiday is just what you need right now to have some self care and time with your DH.

Sending hugs x

[clucky]

It doesn’t sound silly at all!

Talk to those closest to you and make sure they know how you are feeling, I’m sure they’d hate to know you feel like this, and might be able to reassure you.

I think you’ll have a fab holiday, wearing the mask on the plane will be so worth it!

I hope you feel better soon - look after yourself and be kind to yourself.

[Libby]

I can really relate to your fears about crowds as these were my fears back in March. My DD was so worried about me that she suggested I talk to my Dr about anxiety/depression. I chose not to and soldiered on, crying a lot in private and avoiding crowds when I could (which was quite hard as I work in a school where the TAs were expected to be in school to look after the eligable children to allow the teachers to work from home providing online lessons - a whole other rant!)

Things improved for me after getting my 2nd jab in June. I then started to gradually go to busier places and use public transport more. I still take precautions, wear a mask, wash and sanitise my hands frequently, but the overwhelming anxiety has gone.

You might want to think about whether professional counselling would help your anxiety, or maybe start to ease yourself back into the world with help from your husband.

Good luck, I hope you enjoy your much needed holiday

[sam7]

I really think you need to make an appointment and talk to your doctor. If you put this post up 2 years ago I think everyone would have said you sound like you have depression, its easy now a days to blame everything on covid, and sure this may have been a considerable trigger. Be kind to yourself, but please talk to someone professionally, I am sure they can help and get you back to being you.

[disney_l81]

Oh Lisa- really feel for you. Sending hugs.

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by sam7

I really think you need to make an appointment and talk to your doctor. If you put this post up 2 years ago I think everyone would have said you sound like you have depression, its easy now a days to blame everything on covid, and sure this may have been a considerable trigger. Be kind to yourself, but please talk to someone professionally, I am sure they can help and get you back to being you.

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I agree with this. It sounds like depression to me. Please make an appointment to see your Gp. Thinking of you and sending you best wishes xx

[linnite]

Originally Posted by sam7

I really think you need to make an appointment and talk to your doctor. If you put this post up 2 years ago I think everyone would have said you sound like you have depression, its easy now a days to blame everything on covid, and sure this may have been a considerable trigger. Be kind to yourself, but please talk to someone professionally, I am sure they can help and get you back to being you.

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Was about to post the same so will just add my voice to that.

[Guest]

I would echo the comments to try and see the GP.

I have been diagnosed with depression in the past, it was mild but before I went to the GP I felt flat, like I couldn't be bothered with anything, couldn't find the joy in anything, I just wasn't myself. I was very lucky and the first prescription he recommended did the job, I felt more like myself and more resilient immediately. I didn't take them long then came off them and have not gone on them again. Should I have during the worst of COVID, well probably!

What I have done during COVID mind you was go to a therapist, which I was lucky enough to get through Bupa and that did a world of good too.

There is no point in struggling along, if it were something physical you'd likely go and ask for help about it, be kind to your future self and reach out to someone. It can be very hard but I believe it is worth the risk and the initial stress.

EDIT to add (why I felt the urge to reply in the first place!) I too have very few friends and those I do have I couldn't talk to, having someone to just voice all the inner thoughts to was nothing short of a miracle. They won't think the things that you are struggling with are silly, they have heard it all before and will be able to contextualise it and help you be less hard on yourself. Before I went the private Bupa route I had 6 free sessions from a local charity to see if it was right for me. Again I was lucky there as I imagine these services are stretched to the limit right now, but it is worth a try!

[Cherrypie]

Definitely see the doctor - it might be depression but could also be the menopause? I take from your user name you might be 48/49?
Take care xxx