Teenage relationships

[Vanillapod]

Originally Posted by 123

Whilst technically a 17 year having sex with a 15 year old could be construed as illegal within the confines of UK, the home office would be very unlikely to pursue a conviction (providing any interaction was consensual) as the aim of the law is to protect children, not to punish teenagers from doing what comes naturally.

Getting back to the original question.

I would let them stay over, I'd be saying sleep on sofa/spare room until such time as she is 16.

The question you have to ask is, if I'm worried they might have sex under my roof, would I be more worried that they are safe and dry whilst together or engaging in the same act in a more risky place like a forest or a mate's house when parents are away.

Utlimately if you "bend" a little now, you'll end up with a more open relationship with your daughter where thinks like this can be discussed and she will feel like you have her "best interests" at heart

(It also won't hurt that you'll gain a few cool parent points in both their eyes for not being of the older fashioned "not under my roof young lady" model)

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This!
If they have the intention of getting up to anything, wouldn’t you rather it be in a safe environment.

I actually discussed the age thing with my friend who works in child protection as DS and his girlfriend are 15 and 16.

She said exactly the same as above and told me not to worry in the slightest.

[Fairysparkled]

In the 70s when my brother was 16, girlfriend 15. They get caught by her parents doing the business. Resulting in 3 months detention for him

[WhereIBelong]

thought there was a worldwide pandemic on...

but, assuming the social distancing rules changed...
I have 2 teenagers, dd19 is living with the boyfriend she was dating at 15, but no they did not share a room here till 16. She whinged, but i am the adult/parent so was very used to that... 😅

Dd18 has not asked for any beaux to stay over yet.

I am a rule follower though, so was a bit taken aback at the suggestion at all in covid times. (I am aware others have differing views)

[MOUSEMARSH]

When it comes to our DD Igo with this slogan😁

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by WhereIBelong

thought there was a worldwide pandemic on...

but, assuming the social distancing rules changed...
I have 2 teenagers, dd19 is living with the boyfriend she was dating at 15, but no they did not share a room here till 16. She whinged, but i am the adult/parent so was very used to that... 😅

Dd18 has not asked for any beaux to stay over yet.

I am a rule follower though, so was a bit taken aback at the suggestion at all in covid times. (I am aware others have differing views)

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I believe in many areas of the uk overnight stays are perfectly ok.

Off the gov website

2.6 Can I stay overnight in someone else’s home?
Yes, you can stay overnight in someone else’s home, but only if you do not form a gathering of more than 6 people. You may only form a gathering of more than 6 people for an overnight stay if it is with your support bubble.

You should ensure you maintain social distancing with anyone you do not live with or who is not in your support bubble. Take particular care to maintain excellent hygiene – washing hands and surfaces – especially when using shared facilities like bathrooms wherever possible.

People in the same support bubble can stay overnight with each other in larger groups as they count as one household.

[WhereIBelong]

Originally Posted by mitch84

I believe in many areas of the uk overnight stays are perfectly ok.

Off the gov website

2.6 Can I stay overnight in someone else’s home?
Yes, you can stay overnight in someone else’s home, but only if you do not form a gathering of more than 6 people. You may only form a gathering of more than 6 people for an overnight stay if it is with your support bubble.

You should ensure you maintain social distancing with anyone you do not live with or who is not in your support bubble. Take particular care to maintain excellent hygiene – washing hands and surfaces – especially when using shared facilities like bathrooms wherever possible.

People in the same support bubble can stay overnight with each other in larger groups as they count as one household.

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They can, as you say, with social distancing.

[Wee_Red]

I'm probably super biased (teacher), I am just an out and out no. No chance.
I don't really like the dynamic of a 17 year old wanting to date a child. And that's what she is regardless of how mature she may seem, she's underage. Why isn't he dating someone his own age?

I'm sure plenty people would disagree with me but I have conversations with kids who seem to feel like 'everyone is doing more than me' and as soon as you start chatting about the reality of doing something because everyone else is, you get the feeling that it's outside social pressure getting to them.

One girl recently said offhand that she felt like her mum was quite strict by comparison to others and I asked her to picture five years down the line, what was worse? Griping that her mum was concerned about her or doing something she wasn't ready for because she felt she should? She said, yeah you're right. I just don't think I'm ready.

I'm not under any illusions and I'm sure there are people out there in similar age brackets that lived happily ever after but generally speaking, I just think no.

I wouldn't expect my children to stay virgins till they were 18 but that would maybe be the point I'd consider allowing sleep overs.

Very much not into the idea of being a 'cool' parent. My mum & dad didn't allow it and we're no worse off for it at all.

[janeg88]

Gosh I’m very much in the minority too! But it would be a yes from me. I’m also a teacher and have been known to give condoms to young people 13 and above.

If one party is over 16 and one under that is not a child protection issue and not something we need to report on, only if we feel there is an abusive relationship! I’ll look out the documentation.

However to the OP it’s your house and your rules so do what you believe is best.

Edited to say I’ve been refreshing my memory by reading to child protection documentation and 2 years seems to be key. Anything less than this as in OP case is not cause for alarm.

It is very rare for 17 years to be prosecuted for having sex with an under age partner, and really only occurs as part of wider offences, eg supplying or taking drugs.

I’d liken it to, you wouldn’t be prosecuted for speeding at 32mph but if your car wasn’t roadworthy and you’ve drank a bottle of vodka it could be added to the list of offences.