Devastated and deep shock.

[cybermum]

One of my best friends took his life last night , he was found this morning. I cannot believe this is true yet it is.
We had dinner Monday, we laughed at how he was 40 now and catching me up.
He leaves a wife who is broken today and two beautiful kids who I can't just can't fathom how they are going to go on.
He was the life of the party, literally. Anyone in trouble and he was there, everyone who met him went away happier and blessed to know him.
I cannot take this in , there were no signs at all , none. I wish wish he had said just a word and we could have helped . I would have done anything for him. I have depression, how the hell did I miss the signs ..I am replaying conversations wondering if we missed a signal he was struggling.
Haven't told the kids yet but they will find out he has passed .How do I shield that .
My beautiful, funny , heart of a lion friend I miss him so so much.

[skalexander]

Originally Posted by cybermum

One of my best friends took his life last night , he was found this morning. I cannot believe this is true yet it is.
We had dinner Monday, we laughed at how he was 40 now and catching me up.
He leaves a wife who is broken today and two beautiful kids who I can't just can't fathom how they are going to go on.
He was the life of the party, literally. Anyone in trouble and he was there, everyone who met him went away happier and blessed to know him.
I cannot take this in , there were no signs at all , none. I wish wish he had said just a word and we could have helped . I would have done anything for him. I have depression, how the hell did I miss the signs ..I am replaying conversations wondering if we missed a signal he was struggling.
Haven't told the kids yet but they will find out he has passed .How do I shield that .
My beautiful, funny , heart of a lion friend I miss him so so much.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your friend's family. I cannot imagine how you are feeling.

A professional colleague of mine took his life last week, and everything you've said about your friend applies to him. I haven't been able to get him out of my head, so I understand what you mean about analysing your interactions with your friend, but there is nothing you could have done.

I am sure you know, but there are services out there to help you, and your children if they need it, in situations like this. Thinking of you.

[2019DisneyEvans]

I am so sorry to hear this. Please don’t beat yourself up, maybe there weren’t any signs. Take care of yourself.

[Bazinga 39]

How absolutely devastating for you all, my thoughts are with you x x

[Orlando 2004]

So sorry.

[LadyDebs86]

I feel for you so much.

I've lost a close friend to suicide so I know exactly the feeling of raking over every conversation looking for signs or for things you could have done differently. My scenario was a little different as the signs were always there and I think it was inevitable that my friend would eventually take his life (I think I may have delayed it at least once and that gives me some comfort) however it is still so hard to reconcile it with the relationship you had and the person you knew.

The feelings of confusion and latent guilt will never really leave you but in the end you have to come to terms with the fact you did everything you could by being his friend, ultimately it was his own choice to do it and now he will be at peace.

Sending love.

[NikNak]

This is just devastating, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's easy for me to say but please don't beat yourself up about this, it's so easy for people who are suffering to cover things up x

[neilhd]

This reminds me Robin Williams. The life of the party, the entertainer who made everyone smile. And nobody knew.

You could not have spotted the signs - people hide them well. Please do not place any blame on yourself for missing it.

So sorry for his poor family.

[scottishvixen]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss his family are feeling. Can't even begin to imagine what you all must be going through

[Doowop]

Sorry for your loss.

There is nothing that anyone could have done to stop this as people who are in that frame of mind never let on.

I hope in time you will feel at peace xxx