Advice please. Head teacher said Santa doesn't exist

[weeleighluigi]

Firstly, i am not a "problem parent".

I have worked in schools long enough to know what a problem parent is. I, am most definatly not one of them. Thank you very much!

My intention was not to belittle the teacher, or harass or any of those negative things you may think I wanted to do. Nor was I going in to see her to get something off my chest.

I went in to chat with her about the incident, and also about how my daughter is settling. It just happens what pushed me to make an appointment was the teacher telling her Santa doesn't exist.
Firstly she was beating herself up... she explained the context more than my daughter had. While I DO NOT agree she should have said anything about Santa being real or not, my daughters suggestion came after another "fictional" character to focus on for the project. She said to me that she replied and when she seen my daughters face she immediately thought "o my goodness, what have I just said?". She tried to rectify the situation.
She did feel bad, I accepted her apology. Do I think she should have said It? No. Am I still angry she said It? Yes. Is she human? Yes. As long as I can manage to keep the magic for my daughter, I will get over it.

Do i for a minute think me going to have a chat with her will impact my child negatively? No, I don't. Having a cool, calm and collected conversation with her has hopefully allowed her to think about the complex needs my daughter has, as well as the complex world of children! I don't think she will treat my daughter differently. She kept apologising for her "stupid statement" her words, not mine. And I also think it will help her to remember to think before she speaks sometimes! It may have had a negative effect if I had gone in all guns blazing or if I had "told on her" to her boss or whatever. IT SHOULDN'T BY THE WAY, for those who say it would affect her negatively.
I actually feel if something like that was ignored, in our situation, and my daughters, I would do more damage not going to have a wee chat.

[vowels]

I am glad you are happy with the outcome of your meeting.

[disney332]

Originally Posted by weeleighluigi

Firstly, i am not a "problem parent".

I have worked in schools long enough to know what a problem parent is. I, am most definatly not one of them. Thank you very much!

My intention was not to belittle the teacher, or harass or any of those negative things you may think I wanted to do. Nor was I going in to see her to get something off my chest.

I went in to chat with her about the incident, and also about how my daughter is settling. It just happens what pushed me to make an appointment was the teacher telling her Santa doesn't exist.
Firstly she was beating herself up... she explained the context more than my daughter had. While I DO NOT agree she should have said anything about Santa being real or not, my daughters suggestion came after another "fictional" character to focus on for the project. She said to me that she replied and when she seen my daughters face she immediately thought "o my goodness, what have I just said?". She tried to rectify the situation.
She did feel bad, I accepted her apology. Do I think she should have said It? No. Am I still angry she said It? Yes. Is she human? Yes. As long as I can manage to keep the magic for my daughter, I will get over it.

Do i for a minute think me going to have a chat with her will impact my child negatively? No, I don't. Having a cool, calm and collected conversation with her has hopefully allowed her to think about the complex needs my daughter has, as well as the complex world of children! I don't think she will treat my daughter differently. She kept apologising for her "stupid statement" her words, not mine. And I also think it will help her to remember to think before she speaks sometimes! It may have had a negative effect if I had gone in all guns blazing or if I had "told on her" to her boss or whatever. IT SHOULDN'T BY THE WAY, for those who say it would affect her negatively.
I actually feel if something like that was ignored, in our situation, and my daughters, I would do more damage not going to have a wee chat.

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Good on you, totally agree and well done...

Now to buy that bell !

Disney332

[tspill]

Originally Posted by weeleighluigi

Firstly, i am not a "problem parent".

I have worked in schools long enough to know what a problem parent is. I, am most definatly not one of them. Thank you very much!

My intention was not to belittle the teacher, or harass or any of those negative things you may think I wanted to do. Nor was I going in to see her to get something off my chest.

I went in to chat with her about the incident, and also about how my daughter is settling. It just happens what pushed me to make an appointment was the teacher telling her Santa doesn't exist.
Firstly she was beating herself up... she explained the context more than my daughter had. While I DO NOT agree she should have said anything about Santa being real or not, my daughters suggestion came after another "fictional" character to focus on for the project. She said to me that she replied and when she seen my daughters face she immediately thought "o my goodness, what have I just said?". She tried to rectify the situation.
She did feel bad, I accepted her apology. Do I think she should have said It? No. Am I still angry she said It? Yes. Is she human? Yes. As long as I can manage to keep the magic for my daughter, I will get over it.

Do i for a minute think me going to have a chat with her will impact my child negatively? No, I don't. Having a cool, calm and collected conversation with her has hopefully allowed her to think about the complex needs my daughter has, as well as the complex world of children! I don't think she will treat my daughter differently. She kept apologising for her "stupid statement" her words, not mine. And I also think it will help her to remember to think before she speaks sometimes! It may have had a negative effect if I had gone in all guns blazing or if I had "told on her" to her boss or whatever. IT SHOULDN'T BY THE WAY, for those who say it would affect her negatively.
I actually feel if something like that was ignored, in our situation, and my daughters, I would do more damage not going to have a wee chat.

See more...

I think this is quite naive. No matter what way you think it went. The teacher will have a differing view regardless of what was said. That is a fact of life. Look into behavioural studies to understand how conversation outcomes occur.

[Colette-S]

Op I think you have handled this brilliantly. I bet the headteacher was relieved after your meeting that you dealt with it so well! Everyone makes mistakes and it’s how you deal with them afterwards that matters.
Totally disagree with PP and if anything she will look on your daughter favourably knowing she has such a reasonable, level headed mum

[Feebee2]

Originally Posted by tspill

I think this is quite naive. No matter what way you think it went. The teacher will have a differing view regardless of what was said. That is a fact of life. Look into behavioural studies to understand how conversation outcomes occur.

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So in life you can never tackle any situation as someone's view of you will be negatively impacted?

[hellin family]

Well done OP. I think you’ve done absolutely the right thing and I am sure there will be only positive outcomes from this

[duchy]

Originally Posted by tspill

I think this is quite naive. No matter what way you think it went. The teacher will have a differing view regardless of what was said. That is a fact of life. Look into behavioural studies to understand how conversation outcomes occur.

See more...

I think your posts say more about you than the teaching profession (or any other profession) . Most people are perfectly capable of separating the professional job they do and any ambivalence they feel towards their customer or their relatives , be they doctors, teachers , social workers, nurses etc.
Maybe you've been unlucky and encountered the exceptions but I'm speaking from personal experience not "behavioural studies" (although I've conducted a few of those myself and am aware how flawed they can be if the basic premise is incorrect or biased)
Most people aren't that petty especially when children are concerned ... in fact if there is a problem parent teachers tend to feel sorry for the child rather than take it out on them from my personal observations in the staff room !

[sophiepop]

What do we class as a 'problem parent' though? Surely they are just parents looking out for their children?

I think its worrying that its suggested not to complain about anything at school because it could cause a problem for your child.

[Disneyfreaks]

I’d be furious too, I used to work with a girl who never played along with the whole Santa or tooth fairy thing for her son, she told us we were lying to our children - we had many debates about that In the office ! Utterly rediculous, that headteacher had no right to blurt that out like that - good luck with your meeting

I’m of the opinion too that I tell my DS13 it’s all real IF he believes ! (I know he doesn’t but he humours me !

Try to stay calm, but sadly I fear the damage has been done 😩