So I told my girlfriend

[Mr Tom Morrow]

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked:

“Honey, if I died would you get married again?”

The Husband said: “No sweetie.”

The Wife said: “I’m sure you would.”

So the Husband said: “Okay, I would.”

Then the Wife asked: “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”

And the Husband replied: “I guess so.”

Then the Wife asked: “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”

And the Husband replied: “No, she’s left-handed.”

[cartoonp]

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?

A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response. Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.

His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything."_ "Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said.

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband. "Cake? Who the fudge do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?

[cartoonp]

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Originally Posted by cartoonp

See more...

And those who answered Snipe are now Bird Watchers.

[cartoonp]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

And those who answered Snipe are now Bird Watchers.

See more...

[cartoonp]

Repeat….

Free s*x scheme !
A petrol station owner in Ludhiana was trying to increase his sales.
So, he put up a sign that read,
'Free S*x with every Top-Up.'
Soon Banta Singh pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free s*x.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Banta Singh guessed 8, and the proprietor said,
'You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No s*x this time.'
A week later, Banta Singh , along with his friend, a Gujju, pulled in for another fill-up.
Again he asked for his free s*x.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Banta Singh guessed 2 this time.
The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free s*x this time.'
As they were driving away, the Gujju said to Banta Singh,
'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free s*x.'
Banta Singh replied,
'No it is genuine. It's not rigged at all.
My wife won twice last week ! '

[51-a- good year]

Do you know how to turn an ordinary sofa into a sofabed?





Just forget your anniversary/wife's birthday !