In need of some support from those who understand!

[alibeau]

Morning!

So...

My eldest daughter passed away suddenly in April aged just 15... We are only just beginning to take the first baby steps of healing...

We have a trip booked, we leave in 9 days.

Up until this point I have not been able to contemplate visiting the parks, just too heartbreaking, the thought of being there without her, the memories etc.

However, last night at the dinner table, Hubby says that he thinks we should do some parks on this trip, we also have a 13 yo daughter.

We all lit up and decided we absolutely wanted to do this. Within the hour I had booked us Mid Day Magic tickets for all four Disney parks for this trip. We were all excited as we haven't done the Disney parks for quite a few years and glad we had made the decision.

This morning I am not feeling so brave about it. I know it is something we will have to/want to face at some point...

I was quite offended in the early days after she died when people would say 'the firsts (birthdays etc) will be the hardest', it was as if they were saying it will all be ok once we have got the 'firsts' out of the way... However with the passage of time I can see that they were right. As super tough as it all still is, the firsts were the worst. It should have been her 16th birthday last month.

So... If I spoke to pals about this, I think they would think we were mad to return to the parks so soon... but at I hope everyone on here will understand the excitement we do feel about returning even thought we know the pain we are going to endure, it sounds mad as I type it out...

Can you send me your brave pants please?

Ali x

[rasmus]

If "friends" make any negative comments then they're not your friends.
You do what you all need to do as a family to heal-its different for everyone.
❤

[HappyPanda]

Oh Ali, I can't begin to imagine what you've all been through. I think only you and your family know what's right for you and you should not let anyone else's influence or opinion change your mind.

I know it will be incredibly hard going back without her but she'll be on your minds the whole time and you'll be honouring her memory in the most special of ways.

Go and have an amazing time xx

[Dinglebert]

There is no right or wrong process for your family. There are only the steps you will take and the small lessons you will learn from each of them. Those steps have now led you to book the holiday and the decision do the parks.

We all know there can be a magic in the parks. I hope that magic will find you and your family on your trip.

[vowels]

Your family's holiday, your family's decision.

You should not feel guilty for returning to a place which has happy memories for your family, I think it will be good for your younger daughter to remember how happy her sister was when you all last visited.

I think you are wearing the brave pants.❤❤❤❤

[3disneykids]

My dad booked us a family holiday including our partners...he loved it that much that he came back straight away and booked again to the same place the year after... We desperately tried to cancel but the holiday company would have kept most of the money.
We lost him in the mean time but ended up going on the holiday. It was a bitter sweet experience but we still enjoyed and and discussed what he would think if he was there (an extra grandchild (my daughter had been born in the meantime) and I saw it that she had been able to experience what he had loved so much and he would be so happy about that.

Sending you massive hugs I know this can't be easy but I really don't think your dd would have wanted her little sis to miss out on the wonderful experiences that you had provided for her xx

[Megandllsmum]

You have been through the worst as a family, your emotions will change continually and even in the happiest place on earth its absolutely fine to shed a tear and think of things you would've all done together and I would think its good to do all that, think of it as they are with you and do things in their memory. It will be heartbreaking at times but there will I'm sure still be lots of fun and lots of reflection on happy times.
Pull those brave pants up high and make memories new and remember the old xxx

[Mackenzies03]

You can only do what is best for you all and it might not be until you’re there stood outside the gates that you decide. It doesn’t matter what other people think, this is your journey as a family. Whatever the outcome, I hope you have a wonderful trip filled with love and magic xx

[DisneyStacey]

I can’t say that I could ever possibly even begin to understand your loss and what you have been through and are going through.

All I can say is that this is your family, your lives and your journey. No one else’s. What may work for you might not work for someone else - and vice versa.

No one else’s opinion matters.
And for what it’s worth - the people that matter would always be 100% supportive.

I hope you all enjoy your holiday - I know it will be bittersweet and that there will no doubt be difficult moments for all of you. Look after each other.
Sending you loads of love x

[NewtoOrlando]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have all endured.

I think you already have your big girl brave pants on. You've faced the fact that going will be painful, you're not kidding yourself that all will be ok, but making more memories with your other daughter is so important, she can remember what her big sister loved about the place.

Huge hugs, and I hope you have a wonderful, very well deserved holiday x x x