Pondering life - do you ever think it's time for a change?

[alexisemma31]

My DH and I are in our late 40s, two grown up kids (age 28 and 26 still at home). We're all in good health and happy and never take this for granted.

But DH and I are so unsatisfied in our lives, maybe it's a normal feeling at this time in our lives but we can't help but think there must be more life out there.

I'm a teacher and work long hours, feel very stressed and it's definitely time for a change. My DH works in sales and works long hours. We're like passing ships in the night. We adore each other but it feels like life is getting in the way and our marriage is suffering.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Any ideas of what we could do?

I feel like I want to move far away and start life again somewhere else, doing something together. But this isn't an option at the moment. I'm worried that if we don't change something soon, it's going to cost us dearly.

[Floridatilly]

When our daughter was rushed into hospital and was near death with DKA 10 years ago and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes my husband decided on a change of career. He was self employed and worked long hours, often a fair drive away. So he enrolled to evening class to do his degree and teaching cert.
he is now a college tutor and off when the kids are off which is invaluable quality time.
Yes teaching can be stressful, especially at exam time but it’s far easier and less time than working full time, pricing up jobs, quoting work, chasing payments. Plus he now gets paid for holidays which is a massive bonus lol
Is a change in career something you could look at? Or could you join a gym together? Some other hobby, golf etc?
We have a dog and love going for long walks in all weather.
Maybe plan and do a project together, plan a garden re jig, decorate. It can be done as cheaply as you like or extravagant depending on your budget

[munmun]

Originally Posted by alexisemma31

My DH and I are in our late 40s, two grown up kids (age 28 and 26 still at home). We're all in good health and happy and never take this for granted.

But DH and I are so unsatisfied in our lives, maybe it's a normal feeling at this time in our lives but we can't help but think there must be more life out there.

I'm a teacher and work long hours, feel very stressed and it's definitely time for a change. My DH works in sales and works long hours. We're like passing ships in the night. We adore each other but it feels like life is getting in the way and our marriage is suffering.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Any ideas of what we could do?

I feel like I want to move far away and start life again somewhere else, doing something together. But this isn't an option at the moment. I'm worried that if we don't change something soon, it's going to cost us dearly.

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Could you work part time so you have time for other things?

[BevS97]

I absolutely feel like this. And although I’m not a teacher I work in a school and am ready to leave. I find it very tying and internal school politics / stresses permanently wearing.

I dream of upping sticks to Australia which I could do as I could get a passport. But I don’t think the kids would want to come and I don’t think it’s fair to put thousands of miles between us. So trying to think of a closer to home alternative that is actually viable. In terms of right to work. Job opportunities etc.

[tim17]

My wife and decided to quit our jobs and move to France with our four kids as we were both unhappy at work, she was a science teacher and I was a manager with a large construction company. Whilst we have been through the same issues that we would have experienced in the UK (problems at school etc) the work pressures/stresses have disappeared and we were able to put all of our time into giving the kids the best childhood possible and they have all benefited from growing up in a country where having the latest phone is simply not important.

You only get one go at life so if you get the chance to do something different you should take it.

[wez]

I felt like this for a few years and fortunately I’ve just emigrated to Australia! Been here 5 weeks now. I’m in my 30s and I was able to get a permanent residency visa with full work rights because of my qualifications. Life is short so if you can find a way to make it work, you absolutely should.

[Princesa]

I’m also a teacher and I feel like I won’t want to do it for much longer. My goal is to stick it out until my kids have left school. I keep saying about moving to Florida - we spend our days wishing to go on holiday so why not move there! I don’t know if we actually would, leaving our parents etc. DH has said he’d love to but that we couldn’t afford uni out there so to wait and see what the girls want to do. But then they’d be older and may not want to move. And also, if I got a job outside of a school we wouldn’t be tied to school holidays and would be able to just go abroad more. I think I’m just feeling the cold at the minute and hating it haha.

[Rac20]

Another who works in education and is counting down the days until the kids are no longer at home or are less “dependent” on us.
My plan is either to reduce my hours (already only do 4 days to try even out the work/life balance) or to do something totally different. I’m just so tired. Not planning on moving abroad unless the kids do. I have family in Finland/ Australia so if I ever get a job not tied to school holidays, I’d love to be able to travel more to see them.

[Alices Aunt]

I’ve felt that and with me it got to a point I had to get a new job or by now I would have been divorced as all we did was nag and argue with each other. In fact we both got new jobs DH self employed and are much happier. We are able to do more together as we no longer snap at each other constantly.

I’m at a point where I want to reduce my hours in the new year and am plucking up the courage to ask my line manager about dropping 5 hours and only working 4 days a week. I think DH May follow suit.

[Ds4ljs]

You could have written this about us (I’m also a teacher). It’s all I’ve known but I’m shattered daily and feel like life is passing me by... DH works long hours. Our DDs are 17 and 15 so hanging in there but after losing my dad unexpectedly this year, I’m not going to wait much longer.