depression and loneliness

[Loopylooloo]

Hi Margaret, I am so sorry you are going through such an awful time. I think a bereavement support group might be a good thing to try, so that you can chat and meet with people who will have some understanding of what you are going through maybe. For now am just sending you a big hug, try to ignore your horrible neighbour and take care xxx

[levtweeney]

Your post made me tear up. I can feel your pain coming off the page, it is palpable.

Please know you have the support of your Dibb family. You have our love and even though we are only virtual I hope you can feel that love coming your way

As for your neighbour, let his tires down

Only kidding, do not let his tires down.

I wish I had a great list of advice but I'm not great at that but know I support you from afar.

[Jane23]

Regarding the neighbour issue, I wonder if you could look at installing a Ring video doorbell? It may put him off knocking knowing he is being recorded, and even if it doesn’t you will have evidence of his behaviour they could come in useful if you choose to take further action?

[Floridatilly]

Your post made me tear up. I can feel your pain coming off the page, it is palpable.

Please know you have the support of your Dibb family. You have our love and even though we are only virtual I hope you can feel that love coming your way

☝️ This 100%
Around 6 months after my dad passed away (after 6 months of trying to hold it together) I had a brake down, I just couldn’t cope anymore and wouldn’t leave the house, I couldn’t cope with seeing the world and everyone’s life continuing as normal whilst mine was falling apart. I ended up going to my GP and was put on citalopram (I am sure thats what they were called) I had to stay on them for around 12 months and although they didn’t take away my grief, they allowed me to cope and deal with the grief.
I would certainly reach out to your GP and express your feelings.
As for your neighbour, I would certainly keep a log of everything. Is your son’s TV against the shared wall? If so maybe move it or could your son move bedrooms? Explain to your neighbour your plans and ask if he will take responsibility and actions against his own music blasting stating your own evidence from your log. I would put this in a letter if you feel too intimidated to speak to him. Having neighbour disputes is stressful enough without what you are already going through.
Sending you lots of love 💗

[amy56]

I haven’t got any practical advice regarding your neighbour (although I think both the ring doorbell idea, and writing him a letter detailing the steps you are taking to resolve things such as moving the computer are good ones).

I do just want to send you very much love though, and to echo what has already been said about reaching out to your dibb family - we want to be there to support you ❤️

[mickeyspal]

I cant say more than what's already been said , but please dont struggle through, get some help from a counsellor or GP . I know you dont want to bother your family but if they knew what you were going through, they would want to help in some way.
Sending a big hug ❤

[Sandra & co]

I think you need to visit your gp, a antidepressant might help for a while till you feel better. I would ignore the neighbour if he knocks don’t answer, if you see him outside blank him. Act like he doesn’t exist and don’t engage in conversation with him. Your dibb family is here if you need to chat x

[belfastbabe]

Aww - Margaret - I hope it’s of some comfort that your dibb family sympathise and send bigs hugs to you. There have been many excellent suggestions - getting some help from cruise or gp sounds top of your list. Please know we are all here to listen

[Ilovedisney]

I cant offer practical advice but wanted to send you a big hug and lots of love. Life can be so cruel. Thinking of you. xx

[CarolynU]

Firstly seven months from losing your husband is nothing in terms of grief and loneliness. Your life has changed forever and it’s hard to be positive and move forward rather than backwards. You’ve lost what you had and seemingly have found nothing to replace it with. I think if you could work on this slowly and gradually you would feel more robust to tackle the neighbour issue.
As others have said try grief counselling or try to do one thing each day to take small steps forwards. Something as simple as a walk in the sun or joining a local residents group and seeing if there are any meetings to go to, or shared interests/hobbies.
Could you face going to the theatre or cinema alone? I do this all the time. It’s not as scary as it sounds.
But as I said seven months is early days and raw. You will get there honestly.