Nine Year Old Girls!

[Guest]

Originally Posted by BarrettFamily

I teach a year 4/5/6 class and I can assure you this is normal. The girls are falling out with each other / being mean / saying nasty things all the time. It drives me nuts but is usually nowhere near as bad as they say. One stray look can set them off.

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Phew, thank you. I would be terribly disappointed if it was just her.

[Vinniecat]

I think it happened a lot when I was that age as well and that's 40 years ago. My older daughter had these issues all the way through from preschool to finishing high school. My younger daughter was ok until she started secondary. As for the boys they didn't seem to have any issues so yes it probably is more likely to be girls.

[Guest]

My dd is 5 and we had a similar issue a couple of weeks ago . All us mums agreed to just let them get on with it . There are always going to be disagreements or one left out but what can you realistically do?
None of the girls are mean , in fact they're all lovely and good in class but they're young girls trying to find a place and it's always going to lead to one girl getting upset, sadly and they all seem to take it in turns!

[sammykitten]

my daughter is nearly 16 OP, and her friendship groups "drama llama" years were definitely at their peak in primary school, in years 5 and 6. Falling out with such-and-such and she-said-this pretty much constantly. I learned to keep out of it, don't voice any opinions of any of these girls yourself to your daughter, as one day they'll be the worst of enemies and the next they'll be best of friends.

You're doing the right thing by not asking her, but letting her know you're there if she wants to chat about it or anything else.

[smurfette123]

Originally Posted by sammykitten

my daughter is nearly 16 OP, and her friendship groups "drama llama" years were definitely at their peak in primary school, in years 5 and 6. Falling out with such-and-such and she-said-this pretty much constantly. I learned to keep out of it, don't voice any opinions of any of these girls yourself to your daughter, as one day they'll be the worst of enemies and the next they'll be best of friends.

You're doing the right thing by not asking her, but letting her know you're there if she wants to chat about it or anything else.

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This is spot on! I have 3 daughters who are grown up now but I second everything sammykitten says. Oh and brace yourself... you've got a good few years more of it I'm afraid. Don't get involved unless you absolutely have to!

Kate

[Mel49]

Totally normal for girls - my DD is 10 and had no problems with DS 13 or DS 21 as boys argue and then forget about while girls argue and it stays around for days.

My DD has been caught in the middle on numerous occasions and I try and keep out of it but listen to what's happened and try and suggest how could be resolved. I have once spoken to the teacher when there ws a lot of ganging up and nonsense going on not just directed at DD and they had a bullying talk in class.

She has one friend she used to very close too, play dates, sleepovers etc but if her friend doesn't get her own way she takes massive strops. This girl likes having "exclusive one to one" friendships and in fact worked out a rota as who could play with who and it was amounting to verbal bullying. I intervened slightly by suggesting they banded together as one and told her they were not going to accept it and they would play with who they wanted, when they wanted and the rota was ripped up !
I think as they get older and their personalities change the playground dynamics change too - "cool kids" or "nerdy kids", loud or quiet, funny or whingers etc and all we can do is encourage them to be nice to everyone and be there to pick up the pieces and when it results in tears.

Unfortunately as my friends of older girls keep telling me it will get worse as they get older once the hormones really kick in

[lindylou46]

Luckily my children are all grown up but l don't remember this much drama when my daughter was young, although l do remember one girl in particular who was just horrible. To be honest l blame a lot of this behaviour on social media and "reality" programmes who all seem to show people screaming at each other and never listening to anybody else's point of view. The trouble is that young girls think this behaviour is normal and mimic it, they all need to be shown that kindness is how to behave and have this reinforced both at school and at home. I feel sad for the pressures that children today are under with what they constantly see and hear. The innocent days of childhood no longer seem to exist.

[SarahJayne]

I could have written this post!

My DD8 is in a class of 21 girls (9 boys) and it's a nightmare! There are some very strong characters in there too (my DD one of them!) so they battle for leadership a lot and fall out constantly! There is one particular girl though that is taking it a step too far and quite a few parents have now spoken to the teacher about it all.

It drives me mad though but I listen and try to help but mostly just tell her to keep out of it! She's quite the tom boy so happy to play football with the boys when it gets too much.

[Bianca]

Originally Posted by sammykitten

my daughter is nearly 16 OP, and her friendship groups "drama llama" years were definitely at their peak in primary school, in years 5 and 6...

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It doesn't help that they're still in each others' pockets in primary school; whereas in secondary school it's a bit easier to get some space from one another and some more independence generally.

[Smilesonfaces]

My DD is 11 and is always falling out with her friends. I wont get involved because it usually ends up with the mums falling out and the girls are back friends with each other She will get upset at anything. When my son was that age the boys would have a bit of a fight and then it would all be back to normal and friends again but girls just don't let it drop.