Anyone had any good experiences using Dating agencies?

Goofy3 · 28 Jul 19, 05:20 PM

Hi. I’m looking for recommendations of reputable dating agencies to try.
It’s actually for my Dd age 20. She has decided she would quite like a boyfriend, but is not an average young adult with typical interests, so has quite specific requirements! She is very shy, doesn’t drink or smoke (so nightclubs or bars are out!) She has Aspergers type of ASD, (although you wouldn’t know unless you knew her very well as she’s very accomplished at masking.)
She attends University, but has been on Summer break since early May, made a few friends, but didn’t meet anybody that could be a potential partner. She developed a crush on one of her tutors though which I think was the catalyst to feeling that she would like to meet a boy/young man for herself.
I’m just not sure how she would go about it, hence my question about dating websites. I do know that the sort of person she needs would have to be absolutely genuine as she doesn’t have the skills/life experience to deal with creeps or liars.(my generalisation of what I believe dating sites are about)
I have persuaded her to sign up with the local college to do an evening photography course with a view to meeting people with similar interests. Although our town has a high population of older people, and most clubs seem to be aimed at them.

hideinpockets · 28 Jul 19, 05:29 PM

It’s difficult with dating apps because you unfortunately are likely going to meet a few creeps before meeting someone nice. My friends have all encountered that and whilst they now have lovely partners they did encounter a lot of not so nice men!

Has she joined and societies at uni? That would be a great place to meet people as you’d hope they’d be of a similar age with shared interests!

Megandllsmum · 28 Jul 19, 05:43 PM

I've nothing really against online dating as that's how I met my OH and we've been together a long time but even back then there were a lot of fakes and phonies, it's so hard when you can't read social skills well, my youngest has aspergers/ASD and she believes a lot of what she sees online, she is a lot younger than your daughter though to be fair. I'd be more inclined to encourage her to join social groups or local activities groups, how does she feel about maybe going to certain classes at a local gym or sports club, a lot of people that use ours often group up in coffee shop there after. The photography course sounds a good group to start with... I dread this when lillys older if I'm honest, for now though she's only 11 (tomorrow actually 🎉🎉🎉 ) and thinks boys are the work of the devil unless they are friends on pokemon go or fortnite 😂

Astrid · 28 Jul 19, 06:06 PM

I speak from experience sadly!

I’ve done the rounds of a lot of the dating apps/sites (I’m a lot older than your daughter!) and my advice would be, if she does decide to dip her toe into that pond, to (1) have a thick skin and (2) be careful and err on the side of caution with everyone. Not all people on dating sites are scammers and time wasters, however, some are so always bear that in mind with your daughter.

I know many people that have met great boyfriends/girlfriends online (who have gone on to become husbands/wives) but, it’s a numbers game and, can be, a bit soul destroying. I’m not saying that your daughter shouldn’t try these apps out, but, be aware of any potential pitfalls. Also, generally (but not always!) paid sites have more honest people, after all, they’ve paid out money so are less likely to be time-wasters/scammers.

How about your daughter looks at Meet Up? There are so many different groups for every age and interest I’m sure there will be one that will appeal to her.

Gabsnoot · 28 Jul 19, 08:12 PM

I have no experience of dating apps so have a similar view (creeps & liars) which I am sure is not true for the vast majority and a small number of creeps & liars give the whole thing a bad rep. None the less, I don’t know if I would be brave enough to get in to it and I have a pretty thick skin so possibly not the best place for your DD.

Are there any clubs/groups she could join locally where she could meet people with similar interests?

returnplanning · 28 Jul 19, 08:55 PM

A quick Google suggests that there are lots of dating sites for people with ASD, including..

ambitiousaboutautism...le-with-autism

I think your approach of a dating agency rather than just online dating e.g. tinder would be best.

**tigerfee** · 28 Jul 19, 09:24 PM

If she is joining a dating site I would also suggest a paid site. I know a lot of younger people who use free ones and they are mostly using it for "one thing" . Please advise her to be careful, especially if she hasn't had much experience.
I think as other posters have suggested maybe try to get her to join a few clubs etc see if she can meet someone that way first.
I do know one girl who met her future husband on tinder. But I know lots more who aren't using it for love 😂

Goofy3 · 28 Jul 19, 11:25 PM

Wow. Thanks all for your help. My DD certainly isn’t thick skinned and in a lot of ways is a lot younger than her age. This whole dating thing is not going to be easy.
I think we will give the University societies another look. She did attend a couple last year. Pokemon society being one of them.
Also I had no idea there were dating sites for people with ASD. What a great idea. I will pass on those details. Not sure whether she wants a partner who is also ASD, as apparently they are all weird and geeky! (Takes one to know one!)