What do people think ( update post 93 )

[debs2028]

It’s my dd’s 30th this year and myself , dd and my 2 sister in laws decided to have a weekend away . I’ve recently booked flights for us all to Budapest .
My brother has a very traditional marriage but thought he had mellowed over the years , however he is refusing to let my sister in law go . He believes wives should stay at home and not have separate weekends away . Think it has caused a lot of arguing and now she is saying she would rather leave it .
My question is , do I get involved ? Accept decision ?
If it makes any difference I am single and have been for many years ( weekends away involve lots of sightseeing , nice meals and cocktails ) no flirting involved . My dd is single and my other sister in law is a widow .
Advice appreciated .

[Orlandobelle]

As somebody who was in this situation - not do something rather than cause an argument - I wish my friends and family had stepped in earlier.

Just a personal perspective but every relationship is different

Gaslighting...

[tigerfee]

I know quite a few couples like this. Better not get involved. Every marriage is different and if it works for them, then good. I take it your brother doesn't have weekends away on his own either? If he did then,if it was my brother id def tell him he wasnt being fair. But if he doesn't then best stay out of it. If it works for both of them then it's a choice they make.

[chrisxal]

wow isn't that bullying?

[Bozza]

Are you able to call the 1950s and see if they can take him back?

[ely3857]

It’s absolutely non of your business. Of course if your SIL wishes you to support her request for a weekend away then that would be different but if she’s said to leave it then you leave it.

[joxxxxx]

Firstly your brother is an @&£!
Secondly unless their traditional marriage means that he earns enough that his wife does not need to work outside the home for them to live comfortably and your brother does all the “traditional” male things such as all the DIY, dealing with the cars, doing all the heavy work in the garden etc. then he is a hypocritical £&@!.

I would let your sister-in-law know that you think he is an @£&! and if she ever needs your support you are there for her. I would not say anything to your brother in case he takes it out on her .

[Feebee2]

My SIL is exactly like that. The only time she went out for an evening for a hen do, BIL went out to check on them.
She seems to like it. Each to their own.

[debs2028]

She does really want to go but is not prepared to put up with all the arguing it will cause . I’m of the opinion that he does not own her and a weekend away with family ( not girlfriends ) we don’t see each other that often is something she should choose not him .
She does not want a traditional marriage just him . I love my brother but on this occasion I strongly disagree with his actions . He does not go away with his friends as don’t think he has close friends particularly and is happy at home with wife and kids .
He does do all the men things , but she does work .

[scottishmum]

Sorry but he seems a control freak and I think it’s a form of bullying if your SIL wants to go but isn’t because of him.
If it was my brother I honestly would tell him what I thought.