Grandson of Anarchy Day 3 World of Citrus

[rummy63]

Since King John had had a total melt down yesterday it was clear he needed a rest so we couldn’t go to Volcano bay, we decided to have a morning out and chill for the rest of the day.

Well this was supposed to be a half day excursion and rest time at the villa Then the Al’s could play golf at about 5.00pm it's cheaper to play twilight.

We were up early, and King Johns needs were attended to a cup of tea and porridge. A splash in the pool and a half hour on the I pad.
Unfortunately, during this time Johnnie demanded something and didn’t say please.

Christine has lately been on his case about this I admire her parenting skills.

There was a bit of a standoff.

I went in the bedroom and Johnnie followed me.

He laid on the bed I laid at the side of him.

You’ve done it, now haven’t you?

Just go out there and tell them I said it

Said what?

He whispered please

I can’t hear you

Ok Please, please, please now just go out there and tell them I have done 3 pleases.

We then set off for the Clermont and the rendition this morning was

Don’t look back in anger.

“Take that look from off your face cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out”.

I think the little burgher was directing that at Christine.

We never saw anywhere suitable to stop for our breakfast plus King John didn’t want to stop because he wasn’t quite ready for lunch, so we carried on.

We arrived at the World of Citrus and although it advertised a cafeteria it was obvious it wasn’t somewhere you would want to eat, and the love bugs were horrendous.

In the car park was a large shark a bit like the one that used to be near jaws in Hollywood Studios.

It was chipped and dirty looking.

We asked at reception what time the truck tours were and if there was anywhere local to eat. Apparently, there was an I hop ten minutes down the road and the first truck tour was 12.30.

We carried on for about ten minutes down the road and finally spotted a Bob Evans. We never found the I Hop.

At last me and that Victoria Beckham have something in common we’re both bloody starving.

We all had the full breakfast with added extras and King John had bacon sausage and scrambled eggs.

I thought the food was good, service very good without going over the top.

We made our way back to the World of Citrus and bought our tickets for the truck tour. It cost $92.00 how she came to that I don’t know I think it was 20 per adult and 12 for the King. I had 2 for one vouchers

We had about forty-five minutes to wait.

The citrus on offer was a large bin of spongy green oranges I think they treat them with dioxide to turn them orange.

The children’s play area was in the open air, the sun was beating down and there was no shade. There was an assortment of well used plastic toys that had faded in the sun and they looked like they needed a bloody good scrub.

King John burnt his arm coming down the red-hot plastic slide. The burn looked quite nasty, but Johnny wasn’t fussed.

He’s like a samurai he feels no pain.

Fortunately, I had a small tin of Vaseline with me.

Of course, there were the usual notices use the equipment at your own risk.

The toilet looked clean, but it hadn’t seen a bit of Domestos since Noah was a lad. The bowl was brown the sink was the same it was also crazy cracked it was so ancient.

There was a free beer and wine tasting, but we gave it a miss. They had brewed it themselves and seeing the state of that restroom said it all, happen that’s where they were doing the brewing and that would account for the tanned porcelain.

The shop had stuff for sale that had obviously lain there for years.

Clothes that had faded in the sun.

Washing instructions written in Latin the only things that had been updated were the price tags.

There was a huge gator under the bridge.

One of the workers DEAN NICE BUT KEAN obviously suffering from a case of inoperable stupidity started tickling the water to attract it telling us how they ate the ones they caught and how the tail was particularly tasty.

The gator came out and was moving towards the bank.

The worker DEAN NICE BUT KEAN quickly moved back but then the embankment started giving way and DEAN NICE BUT KEAN had oversized shoes on and started to slip forwards. A spectator realised what was happening and climbed over the fence, he then held on to the fence with one arm and held out his other arm out to DEAN NOW A FUNNY SHADE OF GREEN.
I asked Al why hadn’t gone to Dean’s aid he said it was because he thought it was all part of the act.

Finally, it was time to embark on the wagon tour.

I wasn’t that struck on the bloke that did the tour he was a bit full of himself.

One of those with a shaven shiny head (chrome dome) sleeveless vest showing off his bulging biceps, pawn star moustache and more hardware around his neck than Mr T.

Oh, and he had alligator shoes on.

List of stuff that looks good in alligator hide.


1. Alligators.

End of list

The tour wasn’t full, and we had opted to sit at the back.

He told us to sit nearer the front as he didn’t fancy raising his voice that day.

I wasn’t to bother for listening, so we stayed where we were.
Plus, I had added up the fares on the wagon I reckon there was circa $800 so for that money he could raise his voice why should we squash up together sharing communicable ailments with strangers.

He gave a full explanation about the love bugs and I did find that quite fascinating.

Florida love bugs emerge and mate in the spring and again in the late summer.
Once the mating is over the male dies and the female deposits her eggs. The larvae stay underground for about 6 months and they are important to the eco system and help build the soil making it fertile and rich.
They can also be a serious traffic hazard as if you happen to drive through a swarm of them visibility can be seriously eroded.

Their dead bodies also turn acidic in the sun causing damage to a car’s paintwork

The rest of the tour was poor.

It was advertised as an "animal safari"... We saw a few wild turkeys, some water buffalo and 2 zebras. I’ve seen more wildlife in the kid next doors head.

What made it worse was every time he stopped the wagon those flaming fornicating flies landed.

An early dinner Tea was at Applebee’s (because it was Tuesday and kids eat free).
Johnnie didn’t want anything from the kid’s menu, so we ordered him a shrimp appetiser with a side of mash and broccoli.

The blokes went golfing Christine set about cleaning Johnnies hand marks off the patio doors wax on wax off wax on wax off. Nobody has attended the patio door so once again I emailed Contempo with my concerns.

Johnny and I frolicked in the pool.

A hot shower and a cup of Cadburys and finally Johnnie was out for the count.

Great we could have a few and maybe finish up in a lager top supernova in the sky.

[Nesbits]

I was fancying a trip to Citrus World too. I think we’ll give it a miss.

[Hmr89]

Citrus World has just been removed from my future trip plans

[fizzypop]

We enjoyed our World of Citrus trips, we have been twice. Bought our tickets on Travel Zoo and emailed for a time a few weeks before we went so got the first tour in the morning. Admittedly it isn’t Disney but we enjoyed seeing something different.

[Gill H]

Sounds ... well, a bit of a lemon.

Loved the alligator hide comment though!