Being obsessive is ruining my life...

[MK_club1987]

I've always been a bit obsessive with certain things, one example is washing hands, especially if I know there's germs going around, I'll wash them excessively to the point they are red raw.

However it's all just gotten so much worse since DS was born, he's now 4, and some of you might remember some old posts of mine about routines etc, but I follow this routine so much that even now he's 4, I go by this same routine every night without fail, bath 6:30, bed 7:30, I can probably count a handful of days where this routine has not happened... but it's gotten so bad that I can't even go on holiday as I worry he won't sleep when we get back, I'm trying to plan a surprise DLP trip for DS and DW, but I keep putting it off as I just worry his sleep is gonna be ruined when we get back. It's so stupid but I can't get it out my head. Then the hand washing has rubbed off on him, without fail I carry some hand foam with at all time, keep some in his bag, and make sure DW uses it on his hand before pre-school and after, then I make sure he uses it whenever we have been out somewhere, before food, after food. I know in one way it's practicing good hygiene but then on the other hand, it's just plain obsessive...

It all sounds so ridiculous written down, but I can't help it, I never used to be this bad, always couldn't wait to have family holidays, outings, etc, but can't even look forward to them due to the above.

DW see's this and thinks I'm just being stupid, but she doesn't realise to the extent this rules my life, I feel stupid talking about it, to the point I can only really talk about this online to a bunch of people I don't personally know because it's that embarrassing

Anyone else like this at all? I just feel so stupid

[daytonababe]

Yes it’s ruining your life ..

I know some swear by routines but you have to have some flexibility .

And messing up his routine a few days won’t harm him ..

Have you thought about getting some help for it ? Talking to a dr would be a start .

[DizzyDisneyMum]

You are 100% not alone and it is not ridiculous.

It sounds to me as though you may have a form of OCD (although I am not medically trained, Just going from my own experience).

I am similar, but my thoughts tend to be focused on worrying about my family coming to harm, particularly when I am not with them.

I read an article by Derren Brown some years ago which made me realise that I wasn't alone and that other people struggle with the same things. This prompted me to go to my gp who referred me to a local counselling service. They diagnosed me with anxiety and OCD and put me on a short course of talking therapy.

Sorry for the rambling, I guess that I'm just trying to say that it may be an idea to talk to your doctor if you feel able, as this is obviously now affecting your life.

I promise that it is not stupid, our minds are really powerful things and sometimes we just need a little bit of help in telling ourselves that everything is ok.

I hope that this makes some sense, feel free to ignore me if it doesn't ☺

[Gill H]

Well done for talking about it.

Someone close to me has struggled with OCD. There are ways to tackle it.

Chat to your GP, you will not be the first they have spoken to.

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) may help.

There is a book called Overcoming OCD by David Veale and Rob Wilson which is really helpful. It was a bright orange cover, but download it on your phone or tablet and no-one will know what you are reading!

OCD UK website has lots of help also.

[Rac20]

No advice to offer other than what others have said. Definitely go to the doctor as they can provide information where to access therapies such as CBT. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Princess Ariel]

Yep definately OCD. It’s not normally considered an issue until it’s distressing or impacting on normal life (which yours now obviously is) I would suggest going to see your GP, stress how much it is impacting you and ask to be referred for some CBT therapy. Good luck I hope things get better for you

[YorkshireT]

I have a friend who has OCD, and people often call something OCD when it isn’t based on what they perceive OCD to be. My friend, as awful as it sounds (he is the nicest bloke around) has unwanted thoughts about harming people and other rather concerning unwanted thoughts, losing things etc. If you have OCD it’s nothing like he has, unless you have some of these symptoms also. Maybe a very mild form. But see a doctor.

[Blue nose]

I agree with other that it sounds like OCD. Again I'm not qualified medically but have done many mental health awareness courses.

Please go and see your GP and see what support is available.

It is often talking through what your anxious about to identify this first rather than trying to stop the handwashing.

It's clearly escalating at the moment if your hands are sore and it sounds like you don't want your child controlled in the same way. Well done for speaking up, you now just need to speak to someone professionally who can help.

[Universal VR]

My daughter suffers with OCD and people often misunderstand it. She’s quite messy (well, very messy) and when her friends see her messy room, they don’t get that someone with OCD can be messy but that’s not really what OCD is. It’s not a need for clinical cleanliness and a rigid lifestyle. That said, it can be a symptom so it’s worth talking to your doctor who can refer you for CBT.

[°o°-Hannah-°o°]

My dh suffers with ocd and what people don’t understand is that if he doesn’t follow the routines his brain tells him something bad will happen to one of us.
He can’t just walk through a door, he has to tap his feet and shuffle backwards numerous times until his head tells him it’s ok to go in - nightmare being behind him in the rain.
He can’t just put the lid on a bottle, he taps away, tightening and taking it back off again until his head tells him enough.
Hand washing - all the way up to his elbows.
And there are many more.

I find that if his anxiety is high, then his ocd is less and vice versa. But, it’s all fed by the terrifying thoughts.

Speak to your gp