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16 Mar 19, 09:20 AM |
#1
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Imagineer
Join Date: Mar 08
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mother in law wants to make amendments to her will
Looking for advice please
My mother in law wants to make amendments to her will, can you tell me is it easy. To cut a long story short, and this may sound harsh, her daughter died November 2017, my father in law died 5 years ago. Now on her current will, my husband (her son) will get half of the money from the sale of the bungalow. And her daughter's son will get the other half, but she wants to change it. I have a son, and in their will it states the grandchildren will get £10,000 each, but of course because her daughter has died, he will get his mums share., which my mother in law hates. My newphew who lives just 5 minutes around the corner, hasnt seen his nan for a 2 years. My brother in law, never visit either. We live 3 hours away and try and get there each month. Now my MIL is so wanting to change the will, saying they never do anything. Dont ring me, see me, or just do anything. Now, I dont want her to change the will, but she is so adamant. And I dont want her to go to her solicitors and then do something stupid. Please help, my other half says keep the will as it is, but she wants to change it. She has even spoken to the will people who ring you up on the off chance, now I just dont want her to do something stupid. We said we will go and visit at the end of the month, and see what we can do. But I dont want it changed. But I understand why she does. Help please Toni Edited at 09:47 AM. |
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16 Mar 19, 09:25 AM |
#2
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VIP Dibber
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I’d steer well clear. It’s her will so her decision which she should make alone IMO. She just needs to see a Solicitor to change it should that be her decision. For me I’d not discuss it at all.
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16 Mar 19, 09:27 AM |
#3
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Bon viveur and shopaholic
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Why don’t you want it changed?
In all honesty it’s her money and she can do what she likes with it and if that’s her wishes you are wrong to stop her. Help her carry out her wishes but make sure she gets proper solid legal advice and it’s done by a probate solicitor. This help provide protection of the will is challenged afterwards. If she has full metal capacity and is of sound mind I can’t see why she shouldn’t be allowed to do what she wants with her money and assets Edited at 09:34 AM. |
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16 Mar 19, 09:28 AM |
#4
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Imagineer
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Leave the situation well alone. If you are influencing her, it could come back to bite you in the backside. It would appear she has capacity so she can do what she pleases. Contact a solicitor and arrange an appointment, if she needs help with that, but then stay out of it.
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16 Mar 19, 09:29 AM |
#5
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Apprentice Imagineer
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In the kindest way possible, they are your mother-in-law's assets and she can do what she wants with them. I understand your feelings about this but if she has capacity and wants to do it then you can't stop her.
I notice you said she gets cold called by Will writers, please make sure she does not go to them. If she does want to go ahead she should see her solicitor who can talk her through everything, including any pitfalls or the possibility of any claims against the estate. The solicitor may also suggest a capacity report to ensure your mother-in-law knows what she is doing and to assist with setting things out if there is a claim. |
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16 Mar 19, 09:30 AM |
#6
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Thread Starter
Imagineer
Join Date: Mar 08
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yes, I know what you are saying. She wants my other half to go with her, but I just feel bad, that she wants to stop her other grandson of getting his mums share, but of course she said she wants him to get the £10,000, but wants my other half to get it all. But I feel guilty, and I just want the will to stay the same. But she says we do it all, which I know is true, but alot of families are like that.
Toni |
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16 Mar 19, 09:35 AM |
#7
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Imagineer
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My aunt did similar to your mil. She had no children, just 3 nieces. Her original will left everything equally between the three of us. However, my sister died (far too young) before my aunt which meant her share would go to her son (my aunt’s great nephew). Now neither my sister (when she was here) or my nephew visited my aunt, and when she needed care my other cousin and myself did all we could but my sister and her son never even visited or rang to see how our aunt was. Therefore when my sister died, my aunt changed her will to leave her estate to myself and my other cousin only.
I don’t know if I think it was the right thing to do, but I do understand her reasoning, and she was very clear and sure of her wishes. She had her will changed by the original solicitor who wrote the will as she felt it was the most straightforward way of doing so. I don’t think it cost as much as having the first will and she felt that by doing it this way it would avoid any possible problems. After my aunt died, no one contested or questioned why she had left her money in the way she did. In fact, my sister’s son (who I love dearly and see often) only turned up for the service and went back to work straight afterwards. They just weren’t close, it happens in all families. |
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16 Mar 19, 09:38 AM |
#8
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Bon viveur and shopaholic
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I can totally understand how you feel and I would also be concerned. However, in this country there are no automatic rights for inheritance and this is exactly why people are encouraged to make and leave wills - it is her money and she can do what she likes with it. Why should she leave some to people she doesn’t want to receive it? It’s the whole purpose of a will
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16 Mar 19, 09:38 AM |
#9
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Imagineer
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I would encourage her to keep in touch with them and do nothing about the will for a while.
The boy's mother died in November, the son-in-law is grieving his wife. A lot of the family dynamic probably came from her keeping in touch with her mum, that has changed, what has MIL done to keep in touch - is she sitting waiting for them? I have a mother who sits there waiting for everyone to get in touch with her and if you ask "when did you last pop round to see them?" she says"I would never do that" - yet she expects the world to land at her feet. If MIL wants to see people she needs to arrange to see people - or actually just. go. see. people... What would happen if your DH also passed before her? The kids would get £10k each and the rest would go where? |
16 Mar 19, 09:53 AM |
#10
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Thread Starter
Imagineer
Join Date: Mar 08
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Sorry, I have now edited my original post, my sister in law died 2017, sorry I put last year.
Oh how I wish, they were grieving, but on the day my sister in law died, my brother in law rang us at 5.00am on a sunday morning, we got straight in the car to dorset, which took 3 hours, we said we would tell my MIL all together, so we got there, my brother in law meet us there, stayed 5 minutes, and then left us, he said he had a party to go to, and he just left. We were so angry, we didnt even get time to ask him what she died of. But we stayed and comforted my MIL. And now her daughter has gone, they BIL and Nephew have left her, cant understand it. Ok, we will give my BIL the benefit of the doubt, because its not his mum, but come on, my nephew. My son, has seen his nan more, he comes with us, when he has a weekend off. Toni |
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