What to do after a death?

[Wee_Red]

Hi all,

Long story short, my aunt has went from a "we found a lump, we think it's cancer" in September to she's got weeks to live.
We're just in a total state of shock.

This is so morbid, I know but does any one have like a kind of checklist that my cousins could use for the awful practical stuff they will need to take care of? Bank accounts, insurance etc

I don't have a clue where to begin and this is completely out of the blue. Nearly 20 years ago when my gran died, she had enough notice that she was able to sort out pretty much everything for my grandad.

There's nothing we can do or say for them but if this helps. I don't know

Thanks in advance,

K

[Colette-S]

Sorry to hear your news. There is a service called tell us once which covers official organisations- dvla, passport office, DWP etc. Once the death is registered the registrar will give them a reference number to use this service. The funeral directors were helpful to us and gave a booklet with details of what needed to be checked

[Gryff]

Contact McMillian they have loads of practical advice and even in these time offer support right now
I’m so sorry you are all facing this but you are right if your aunt can decided what she wants or just wants family to decide it’s not morbid it’s good to talk and discuss everyone’s wishes and make them know in advance saves a lot of blame and guilt when it’s just not needed

[Wee_Red]

Thank you both so much. My dad was on the phone to her earlier and apparently they've organised for MacMillan so that's probably going to help.

[folkie]

So very sorry for all your family. It's been a few years since we've had to deal with a family death, but one thing I do remember (and of course this could have changed as more things go digital) is that we needed multiple copies of the death certificate (I think we had four) as some places needed to retain an original, at least for a while. It made things a lot easier to have several copies.

[Sas]

So sorry to hear your sad news. When my dad was in a hospice they gave us a booklet with some great advice, who to contact, what needs doing when etc. I am sure Macmillan will have the same or similar.
I am sending you lots of love and I hope your aunt passes peacefully and pain free x

[daisymae]

So sorry to hear your news and preparing yourselves gives you something else to focus on. My dear mum passed away in July and our experience dealing with things afterwards was so different from dad. The doctor sent a digital copy to the registrars and we had to wait until they received it before we could register the death over the phone but we were able to collect a copy beforehand from the surgery just for ourselves. We had to deal with the paperwork for the Tell Us Once online whereas with dad it was the registrar who talked us through it. As others have said get a few copies of the death certificate when speaking to the registrar. Highly recommend the MacMillan Nurses and Marie Curie Nurses, their compassion was amazing and they really eased any worries we had and looked after my parents brilliantly.

[marypoppins38]

I am so sorry. That’s heartbreaking for you all. When my dad died a few years ago both the hospital bereavement office (where we collected his death certificate) and the registrar gave me a pack with a lot of practical information on what to do next and a checklist of who to contact. As Colette said, there is a service that will notify all the official government departments when you call them. Sending your family love and strength for the difficult weeks to come.

[daisymae]

Sorry just noticed about banks etc. I presume your aunt is a single person? From a totally practical view your cousins need to find out firstly if there is a will and who the executors are. If it’s your cousins they will need to inform her bank, they need a certified copy of the will (I would not give them the original as they may lose it and if Probate required then it will be needed for this), and a full death certificate, they will freeze her account but Funeral expenses can be paid out. Most banks have a bereavement department and there is also a service like tell us once that quite a few of the banks use so you can do all this online if she has several accounts. Probate may not necessarily be required if the total amount in your aunt’s bank accounts are below the banks probate threshold. The banks have increased the thresholds due to Covid. If your cousins are not executors or do not wish to be then I would advise to leave anything financial well alone as they have to watch out for something called inter meddling which means starting to deal with the estate then no longer wishing to but it’s too late. Sorry this post seems curt but I do hope it helps to know what’s coming. A very good site is MSE funerals and probate everything they wish to know from a layman’s point of view is on there. I do sincerely wish you and your family all the best during this very difficult time. Take care x

[Island mamma]

Make sure you have the latest version of her will and know who the executor is
Make sure there is a notepad nearby when any family talking to her to jot down any wishes/ requests. My experience of relatives nearing end of life has been that random thoughts pop into their heads and they just tell whoever is there at the time. Things like where to find stuff, particular reading for the funeral, somebody to tell etc.
Make sure your cousin's know where all bank accounts, policies etc are and if possible for POA access to start planning
I think one of the undertakers gave us a list when one of my grandparents died.