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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:28 AM  
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#11
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It's not just the implications for them tbh. Esp if you are getting on in years. It's how your gift will be perceived by the tax man in settling your estates or by the local council for calculating care costs.

It's a complex area I am looking into. I looked for about a day. Then decided an IFA was the way to go. Now searching for a good IFA!

It's ridiculous. It's not as though I am rolling in the stuff. I'm absolutely not, so I want to be as effective as I can !
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:29 AM  
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disney332
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Originally Posted by EssexSue View Post
We gave all ours the deposit for their houses, we just assumed the relationships would last. We have recently had an inheritance too which we have shared with them, I would feel embarrassed putting any restrictions on it, especially as there are now children involved.
Agree Sue

MH, give him the money and tell him to be a good boy as he finds his way in life.

Also tell him he always has a bed at yours

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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:30 AM  
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Originally Posted by EssexSue View Post
We gave all ours the deposit for their houses, we just assumed the relationships would last. We have recently had an inheritance too which we have shared with them, I would feel embarrassed putting any restrictions on it, especially as there are now children involved.
The thing with me is that although I trust my daughters judgement with future partners i’m also not stupid re love making you blind😉 The money we give her will be not only money we have worked hard for but money that has emotional ties as it was inherited from my parents. We have seen a friends daughter lose her grandpa’s inheritance like this and so she was having to deal with a marriage breakup as well as the guilt and heartache of her thinking she had let her grandpa down. I’m happy to pay extra solicitors fees to avoid that!
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:38 AM  
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As others have said it is a complicated and emotive business. Our son was very wary of buying a house with his partner with the backdrop of financial legal agreements. After taking advice we decided to gift the money. It was a worry at the time re if the relationship would last, but 10 years and three children later it doesn’t matter.

Edited at 09:40 AM.
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:39 AM  
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Mr Tom Morrow
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We helped our Son out when he started the house buying process in February last year. We advised him from the off what we would give him.

Within 1 month of moving in he started a relationship with a nice Lady and she has now just moved in.

Who are we to put restrictions on his house? Who are we to say who shall have what % of monies given? It was a gift and is up to the recipeint how it's used.

I cast my mind back to 1981 when we bought our first house. If my Partners (now Wife) Parents had offered us a gift but that if we split up I wouldn't be able to have half of it I would have told them to stick it where the sun don't shine!

By the way my Wife says she would have adopted the same stance if roles were reversed and my late parents had offered money.
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:39 AM  
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My stepfather gave my stepbrother a lump of money towards his new house after a messy divorce, my stepfather has a put charge on the steps sons house so if any thing goes wrong with his new relationship my stepdad his investment money back first (obviously he can then give that back to his son when everything is sorted)
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:42 AM  
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My parents instead loaned us money to pay for non mortgage related items. Solicitors fees, moving costs, furniture, paying off the rent. That meant we could put all the money we had originally put aside for those pieces into our mortgage savings, without having to draw a contract/declare the gift.
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:52 AM  
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WhereIBelong
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Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow View Post
We helped our Son out when he started the house buying process in February last year. We advised him from the off what we would give him.

Within 1 month of moving in he started a relationship with a nice Lady and she has now just moved in.

Who are we to put restrictions on his house? Who are we to say who shall have what % of monies given? It was a gift and is up to the recipeint how it's used.

I cast my mind back to 1981 when we bought our first house. If my Partners (now Wife) Parents had offered us a gift but that if we split up I wouldn't be able to have half of it I would have told them to stick it where the sun don't shine!

By the way my Wife says she would have adopted the same stance if roles were reversed and my late parents had offered money.
Totally agree (was trying to word a response, but this pretty much nails it).
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Old 21 Apr 19, 09:53 AM  
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EssexSue
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I have always believed when you hand someone a gift you take your hands off it.
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Old 21 Apr 19, 10:09 AM  
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Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow View Post
We helped our Son out when he started the house buying process in February last year. We advised him from the off what we would give him.

Within 1 month of moving in he started a relationship with a nice Lady and she has now just moved in.

Who are we to put restrictions on his house? Who are we to say who shall have what % of monies given? It was a gift and is up to the recipeint how it's used.

I cast my mind back to 1981 when we bought our first house. If my Partners (now Wife) Parents had offered us a gift but that if we split up I wouldn't be able to have half of it I would have told them to stick it where the sun don't shine!

By the way my Wife says she would have adopted the same stance if roles were reversed and my late parents had offered money.
Completely agree- I can see giving a gift with strings attached would cause many issues in both the relationship between your child and their partner and also their partner and you
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