Can you learn to be better with words?

[Universal VR]

I’m so bad with words, I’m no even sure the title is what I actually mean! I’m really quite poor with words and getting worse. I’ve always been shy and uncomfortable in large groups but now it feels as though I can’t talk to anyone. I find it very difficult to think of things to say, always thinking that anything I have to say isn’t clever/funny/valid etc. My daughters say I interrupt and that’s probably true. Analysing it, I’d say it’s because I think of something valid and have to get it out before I either forget it or the conversation moves on and I don’t get chance to say it. When I do letters at work, I have the Director’s secretary check and reword it as I don’t know how to word things without waffling in an attempt to explain what I mean. I often read posts on here and think “Why can’t I compile a post like that?” I’ve tried googling but all the advice seems to be for public speaking and I’ve no need to go that far! I’m an accountant and hugely comfortable with numbers but not words. Any advice would be welcome.

[malt1977]

I’ve got a couple of suggestions, these are through experience I’ve had with staff members for whom English isn’t their first language. The principal would be the same though.

I guess there would be lessons you could attend, but first off, the these:

Reading, it really is a good way to build your vocabulary and see how to better put sentences together, especially if there are lots of conversations in the book.

Listen to other people, try some of the TED talks on YouTube, you’ll be amazed at what you can get from these.

Lastly, don’t put yourself down or beat yourself up about this, you’re not alone. I think it’s safe to say that you’ll have the support of everyone on this forum, and I’m certain some of them will have much better suggestions than mine.

[mickeyspal]

Your post seems well written to me, we all have different skills ,I'm rubbish at maths and you are obvious good at maths.
Some people are arty some are sporty. Don't worry about it ,it's not stopped you getting on in life, but if its upsetting you then why not look at a class where you can learn to write stories or even read more books .
My husband always read the readers digest and there was a page of words and their meanings , he's very articulate but he can't spell, it used to upset him but now he shrugs it off.
As for interrupting, that is annoying to the people with you but I'm the same as far as having to say it before I forget, so explain to your family/ friends that you have this problem or keep a notebook handy and jot down what you want to say when it's your turn
I didn't mean to like my own post 🤣

[Universal VR]

I read a great deal (2-3 books a week). This is probably why I never talk, I’ve always got my head in a book My spelling and grammar is usually pretty good, I’d say. It’s just formulating sentences and thinking of the right words to use. I often have to attend meetings with bank managers and I sit there in silence because I can’t think of anything valid to say. Then I think I must look like a idiot!

[DizzyDisneyMum]

Lol, I could have written this! I too work in accounting and find numbers so much easier than words!

The only thing that I make myself do at the moment is write everything that I want to put in a letter or email and then step away for a moment, usually when I return to it I can see where to make it easier to read.

[DisneyDaffodil]

I agree with Mickeyspal, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. My vocabulary and English skills are quite good, but my maths skills are very average (at best 😀 ).

Reading is the best way to improve your vocabulary. I am a keen reader and always encouraged my children with reading from a very young age. They were on first name terms with the librarians in our local library as we visited weekly. All three children went on to be well spoken and at school they have always been praised for their knowledge of words.

Another way you could improve vocabulary is to look up synonyms for words online. So instead of saying something is nice, you could look for synonyms and start saying enjoyable, pleasant, pleasurable, agreeable, delightful, satisfying, gratifying, acceptable, to one's liking, entertaining, amusing, diverting, marvellous, good etc

The example above is the first part of a really long list that I googled in a few seconds.

Your post read very well, so I certainly don’t think your English is poor but it’s always good to develop new skills and improve.

[JoJo88]

Can I just say though, I’ve never noticed your posts being anything but articulate (not that I’m looking out for anything!) It may not be as bad as you think

[meboo]

I’d suggest you have an issue with confidence, rather than words. Your post is extremely well written. I’m from a professional background and the ‘modern’ rules are: why use 10 words when 1 will do; use plain English; get to the point. So, yes, reading is excellent but the business world (even law!) is moving away from fancy language.

I get really fed up of people who talk in meetings just so their voice is heard. I make notes as I go through meetings, because it’s human nature to forget, so if there’s something I want to raise I have it written down.

As for interrupting, again, try not to do it at work. However, as frustrating as it might be it is also part of conversation. A friend once got quite cross with a group of us for doing this and whilst we tried to stop we found it impossible. We now joke that we have 19 conversations going on at once, and we always get to the end of each - eventually !

[Lisa123wm]

Some dibbers seem to struggle with the written word (that’s not a criticism to them btw), but I can’t say that you’re one of them.
In regards to speaking, now that you’re aware that you seem to do certain things, maybe you’re overthinking it and that’s making things worse?

[Nimbus]

Originally Posted by Universal VR

I’m so bad with words, I’m no even sure the title is what I actually mean! I’m really quite poor with words and getting worse. I’ve always been shy and uncomfortable in large groups but now it feels as though I can’t talk to anyone. I find it very difficult to think of things to say, always thinking that anything I have to say isn’t clever/funny/valid etc. My daughters say I interrupt and that’s probably true. Analysing it, I’d say it’s because I think of something valid and have to get it out before I either forget it or the conversation moves on and I don’t get chance to say it. When I do letters at work, I have the Director’s secretary check and reword it as I don’t know how to word things without waffling in an attempt to explain what I mean. I often read posts on here and think “Why can’t I compile a post like that?” I’ve tried googling but all the advice seems to be for public speaking and I’ve no need to go that far! I’m an accountant and hugely comfortable with numbers but not words. Any advice would be welcome.

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When I originally read the title I thought you were asking how you could expand your vocabulary. But reading your post that's not what your asking about. Instead it seems like you are asking how best to communicate effectively and also how to become more confident at talking, especially in groups.

In which case, I'm not the best one to answer those. I waffle. I find it awkward talking to people sometimes. I can't think of funny/clever things to say. My posts are rambling messes at times. Sorry I can't help but I just thought I'd let you know that you're not alone. Although, from reading your posts (including in this thread), you seem to be one of the more articulate ones on here. I don't think your issue is as bad as you think it is.

As for interrupting, everyone does that. It's a common problem. We think of things and need to get them out whilst they are still fresh in our heads and before the conversation changes to a different subject. I suspect your daughters interrupt sometimes as well - they just probably don't realise it.