Advice on brake up and seeing children

[Gilly120]

Originally Posted by Bootrip2

This is what happened with my friend, it was shocking what he was allowed to put her through. He now has no contact as her boys refuse to go, but this was a shocking insight into what the law sees as acceptable behaviour on absent partners visits.

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My friends daughter is going through this with her ex husband even though they both have new partners and he keeps referring to his partner as the childs step mother. Its all about control with him he doesn't really want to see the child but its all about controlled his ex. When he has him he wont take him to any parties hes invited to or swap a day so his mother can take him, he hes a a friends birthday party and it goes into his time he just arrives and takes him.

He tells him dreadful things about his mother and her new partner, mocks the grandparents, sends awful texts. They had to go to court for him to agree for them to go to Florida as a last family holiday as it will be the last time they will go away together due to severe health issues with the grandfather. They flew yesterday, last week when he saw him all he kept telling him was watch the Alligators dont get you they come out of the water onto the path and will kill you, check your shoes for lizards and spiders as they will bite you and you will die. He came home crying his eyes out terrified of going.

They have had Cafcass report seemed a total waste of time as they just believed what he said even though the child said he didnt want daddy to keep saying nasty things, he just told them the child was lying.

Only thing going for him is he doesn't do drugs, he is very bitter as is his family that she left him. They also don't speak to their grand daughter in university as she still keeps in touch with my friends daughter - she lived with them for over 10 years and gets on well with her. Its very sad that he is allowed to get away with doing and saying what he wants.

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by Floridatilly

Firstly I am so sorry for you & your daughter to have to go through all of that x x

In further investigation I think the contact centres are still a thing.
The nursery manager told us that they are only for children in care. But I don’t think this is correct.
There is evidence of his violence & drug use so as you say this is in her favour.
Thanks again x

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Thank you

And that’s definitely not the case regarding contact centres , I personally know of 2 families that use them and the kids aren’t in care .

Go and see a good family law solicitor it will be worth it

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by Floridatilly

Firstly I am so sorry for you & your daughter to have to go through all of that x x

In further investigation I think the contact centres are still a thing.
The nursery manager told us that they are only for children in care. But I don’t think this is correct.
There is evidence of his violence & drug use so as you say this is in her favour.
Thanks again x

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Thank you


The nursery manager was totally wrong there , all kinds use contact centres .

Go and see a family law solicitor it will be worth it for your friend .

[Floridatilly]

I am a bit confused why the nursery manager said that about contact centres. I was there when she said it. This could have been organised sooner.
So glad I posted for advice. Thank you
She has explained everything to her midwife who got in toy chest with the social whilst my friend was their. They are ringing her back late today

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by Floridatilly

I am a bit confused why the nursery manager said that about contact centres. I was there when she said it. This could have been organised sooner.
So glad I posted for advice. Thank you
She has explained everything to her midwife who got in toy chest with the social whilst my friend was their. They are ringing her back late today

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Classic case of not knowing the facts but spouting off anyway I guess ..


You can also self refer to a contact Center naccc.uk/help-for-adults...referral-steps

[Chilli-pepper]

Contact Centres provided FOC through LA's are a commissioned service therefore each area will have their own criteria for access, it may be that the area in question only provides contact centres for CLA and not for everyone- you can of course pay to access a family contact centre (some are free or minimum cost) but without knowing the area the nursery manager may be right in regards to not being provided through the LA - edited to add - this is where the manager may be being confused between a LA contact centre and external contact centre


Some local authorities will have in-house contact services and some will contract out, sadly budget cuts can mean the criteria for use is changing.

[Floridatilly]

Originally Posted by daytonababe

Classic case of not knowing the facts but spouting off anyway I guess ..


You can also self refer to a contact Center naccc.uk/help-for-adults...referral-steps

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I didn’t realise you could self refer thank you x

[Floridatilly]

Originally Posted by daytonababe

Classic case of not knowing the facts but spouting off anyway I guess ..


You can also self refer to a contact Center naccc.uk/help-for-adults...referral-steps

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I didn’t realise you could self refer thank you x