Bereavement supporting each other :)

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by PoohBears#1fan

So sorry you’ve had a bad day. X

I’m already dreading the house sort out as it will be down to me & DH, as it’s a retirement village they’ll want it done quickly so they can sell it on.

The whole thing just sucks, many hugs to you all.

That’s a beautiful picture Taffy x

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Thanks.
That is the worst worrying about it before it has even happened...I remember worrying about it a lot over the last year and a half and we still have far to go... My my mum had a lot of stufflol so it is taking a while to do... I used to be really sentimental but when you loose people the things just don't seem as important as they once were.
Hope you are keeping well and looking after yourself. Sending lots of love xx

[PoohBears#1fan]

Thank you, I'm off work, this is the 3rd week as work have been really understanding which helps, not having that to worry about as well and I can visit mum every day. It's beyond us how she's still going, Friday will be 3 weeks since she stopped taking in any calories (ensure drinks), it's around 6 weeks since she ate any food, she surviving on sips of water.

She's started becoming very agitated in the last few days and they started her on Midazolam yesterday, hopefully from today it will be regular.

It's excruciating yet when I want it to be over for her, it upsets me so much as I feel like I'm willing it to happen, I know she'd be devastated if she knew how she is now, it's the one thing she never wanted, always such an active, independent person who in July was still walking around with a stick and living a fully independent life!

When we lost dad earlier this year a friend of mine told me that when she lost her dad she couldn't talk for 2 weeks, I didn't really get that at the time, but over the last couple of weeks I do, I start talking about mum and my throat literally feels like there's a blockage and I can't get a word out.

Just hideous, wouldn't wish this on anyone but everyone experiences it, life can be so cruel.

Thinking of everyone coping with grief at the moment x

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by PoohBears#1fan

Thank you, I'm off work, this is the 3rd week as work have been really understanding which helps, not having that to worry about as well and I can visit mum every day. It's beyond us how she's still going, Friday will be 3 weeks since she stopped taking in any calories (ensure drinks), it's around 6 weeks since she ate any food, she surviving on sips of water.

She's started becoming very agitated in the last few days and they started her on Midazolam yesterday, hopefully from today it will be regular.

It's excruciating yet when I want it to be over for her, it upsets me so much as I feel like I'm willing it to happen, I know she'd be devastated if she knew how she is now, it's the one thing she never wanted, always such an active, independent person who in July was still walking around with a stick and living a fully independent life!

When we lost dad earlier this year a friend of mine told me that when she lost her dad she couldn't talk for 2 weeks, I didn't really get that at the time, but over the last couple of weeks I do, I start talking about mum and my throat literally feels like there's a blockage and I can't get a word out.

Just hideous, wouldn't wish this on anyone but everyone experiences it, life can be so cruel.

Thinking of everyone coping with grief at the moment x

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I feel so sad that this painful experience is lasting so long ..you are doing so well. I think I ended up talking nonsense...it felt physically painful trying to get my words out. This must be so emotionally exhausting for you sending you loads of hugs xx

[parisdisneyfan]

Originally Posted by PoohBears#1fan

It's excruciating yet when I want it to be over for her, it upsets me so much as I feel like I'm willing it to happen, I know she'd be devastated if she knew how she is now, it's the one thing she never wanted, always such an active, independent person who in July was still walking around with a stick and living a fully independent life!

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I know exactly what you mean. Dad had a sore face where he had an oxygen mask on and when we mentioned it they changed it to just the nose pipe, an hour later he died. I know it was irrational but I just kept thinking if I hadn't asked then he wouldn't have died.

You learn to hide things but sometimes even nearly 20 years later it hits me that my mum didn't see the kids grow up and over 6 years and my dad didn't see how they turned out. I am nearly the age my mum was (and her mum) when she died and I do wonder if I will get any longer but also worry that my kids despite being in their 20's wouldn't cope. If I feel I'm getting low I try to shut my eyes for a few minutes and then push the thoughts away and start something new but it is so very difficult. Big hugs to everyone who is finding it hard without a loved one xxx

[act1980]

I can really relate to this post. I lost my Fiancé 8 years ago just one month before my 30th birthday. We were due to get married at WDW the following year and were just about to sign the contract. I had my wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, pretty much everything was in order and ready for our big day. After his death I then had to sell it all and the flowers I had picked for our wedding I was choosing for his funeral instead, it was an awful time in my life and one I will never forget.

I'm now married with a beautiful 1 year old daughter and I wouldn't change my life for the world but there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I still have bad days even now where something will remind me and upset me. Grief is an odd thing, they say time is a healer but I have found that sometimes time actually makes things harder as you begin to miss that person more due to not seeing them for a longer period of time.

I hope that whoever is going through a tough time of losing a loved one at the moment has a lot of support. Just remember, you are stronger than you think and you will get through it, it just takes time

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by act1980

I can really relate to this post. I lost my Fiancé 8 years ago just one month before my 30th birthday. We were due to get married at WDW the following year and were just about to sign the contract. I had my wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, pretty much everything was in order and ready for our big day. After his death I then had to sell it all and the flowers I had picked for our wedding I was choosing for his funeral instead, it was an awful time in my life and one I will never forget.

I'm now married with a beautiful 1 year old daughter and I wouldn't change my life for the world but there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I still have bad days even now where something will remind me and upset me. Grief is an odd thing, they say time is a healer but I have found that sometimes time actually makes things harder as you begin to miss that person more due to not seeing them for a longer period of time.

I hope that whoever is going through a tough time of losing a loved one at the moment has a lot of support. Just remember, you are stronger than you think and you will get through it, it just takes time

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That is so sad...I am pleased that you have a wonderful husband and beautiful baby...I am sure this is all he would have wanted for you can't imagine how devastating this must have been but your strength is amazing...I have to agree about the length of time. it's only been a couple of months with my mum and it sort of doesn't seem that real at the minute.

[charlie_fame]

Hope you don’t mind me joining this thread x I’ve had a bad year , I cry silently to myself every day , I lost a pregnancy on New Year’s Day and just as I was Getting over the grief of that I lost my dad who was only 58 . I just feel very very sad 😔 I so sorry for your loss and sorry that you feel the nhs let u down , I work for the nhs so feel awful when people have a bad experience x

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by parisdisneyfan

I know exactly what you mean. Dad had a sore face where he had an oxygen mask on and when we mentioned it they changed it to just the nose pipe, an hour later he died. I know it was irrational but I just kept thinking if I hadn't asked then he wouldn't have died.

You learn to hide things but sometimes even nearly 20 years later it hits me that my mum didn't see the kids grow up and over 6 years and my dad didn't see how they turned out. I am nearly the age my mum was (and her mum) when she died and I do wonder if I will get any longer but also worry that my kids despite being in their 20's wouldn't cope. If I feel I'm getting low I try to shut my eyes for a few minutes and then push the thoughts away and start something new but it is so very difficult. Big hugs to everyone who is finding it hard without a loved one xxx

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I really relate to this my eldest is only 11 and feel sad about all the things that will be missed and all the things my dad has missed...I will try to keep them part of their life by telling them about what their grandparents were like xx

[3disneykids]

Originally Posted by charlie_fame

Hope you don’t mind me joining this thread x I’ve had a bad year , I cry silently to myself every day , I lost a pregnancy on New Year’s Day and just as I was Getting over the grief of that I lost my dad who was only 58 . I just feel very very sad 😔 I so sorry for your loss and sorry that you feel the nhs let u down , I work for the nhs so feel awful when people have a bad experience x

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That is a lot to go through losing your pregnancy and dad in the same period. Life seems so difficult but after reading act1980's story it shows that positivity can come and I hope this for you...Grief is such a hard complex feeling but I hope that we can get over it. feel free to post as often as you need I feel that this is a good way to release my feelings that I feel like I have to trap in in front of my children.
Sending you love xx

[act1980]

Originally Posted by 3disneykids

That is so sad...I am pleased that you have a wonderful husband and beautiful baby...I am sure this is all he would have wanted for you can't imagine how devastating this must have been but your strength is amazing...I have to agree about the length of time. it's only been a couple of months with my mum and it sort of doesn't seem that real at the minute.

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I can imagine, just give yourself time and accept any help that is offered. Try to talk about things as much as possible, bottling things up is really not healthy. My thoughts are with you