Worn down

[meboo]

That’s a wonderful update - thank you. I had been thinking of how you had been over lockdown. Take care, and best wishes x

[jackster14]

A lovely positive update..

[Consistent]

Wow I can’t believe it’s over a year since I updated this. Or that it’s over 7 years since I started it.
My son was 23 , now he’s about to be 30 in a few weeks.

Still not much change, recently he’s become rather fixated again with the past, he definitely suffers from PTSD with being taken to hospital and his time there.
He keeps deems and reems of notes and is consumed at times by still having thoughts that he’s being persecuted.

We don’t know really what has changed in the last few months but yes he definitely has had a set back.
He rarely goes out, he ruminates about the past and at times (almost daily)
He will talk and try to get us to go over and over it again.

We are beat with it, both hubby and I literally are worn down , can’t count the times I’ve told him but he still continues , basically at that time and I have to be brutal and tell him to get out my sight or I have to remove myself and get out of his company.

We managed a break recently without him and boy did we need it, so much so to the fact that the days leading up to it I literally couldn’t be in his company , to be honest I couldn’t listen to his voice or even look at him at times.

Sometimes we do still have him back though, he appreciates small things but still the thoughts are stronger .
He no longer has any involvement with services ie the psychiatrist, the community psychiatric nurse etc.
He could if he wanted and could access the service or a psychologist but not a chance of that .

Hubby and I each month or so participate in zoom meeting with people at the Sartre of this journey and family workers , psychologist etc, and to know that we can at least offer some help and advice to them helps us.
Saying that I do make sure they know that we still are going through this albeit more equipped than before and not as scared.

Good points , he does still take his meds, he leaves me a note each month asking to order them for him.
I drive him but he does collect them from the pharmacy, so that’s a step forward.

We live a really stressful life at times . Hubby and I know that when he retires we will be a bit more “free” to travel etc and have more freedom.

Take one day at a time still.
Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.

[daisymae]

Thank you for the update I was actually thinking about you a month or so ago and wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear you’re still having a tough time but seems you are dealing well with the hard times and your son is at least still taking his meds. I hope you have a better year next year and Merry Xmas to you and your family x

[Blue nose]

Thanks for taking the time to update us.

Have you still got all the support you had before? Maybe read back through the updates to remind yourself as I'm sure it can all be overwhelming.

The past 22 months have been difficult for everyone and hopefully you'll all turn a corner soon too and be more positive.

Take care and we're here if you need us.

Merry Christmas xx

[Universal VR]

Oh Consistent! I think of you often and have wondered how you are all coping right now. It’s clearly a set back and must be devastating for you. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I read your first post. Where has that time gone? I’m glad you are getting some comfort from helping others and hope you gain strength from that.

Take care of yourself and have a lovely Christmas x

[Consistent]

Originally Posted by Blue nose

Thanks for taking the time to update us.

Have you still got all the support you had before? Maybe read back through the updates to remind yourself as I'm sure it can all be overwhelming.

The past 22 months have been difficult for everyone and hopefully you'll all turn a corner soon too and be more positive.

Take care and we're here if you need us.

Merry Christmas xx

See more...

Thanks , the support can be there for us at anytime yes,
I think with keeping involved with the services in the way we do then it makes it a bit easier .

[Consistent]

He’s absolutely no idea how this affects us, he has no insight, this morning there another row.
I have a sore side / swelling to the side of my breast on my rib area , I think it’s a muscle strain from my workouts.
The doctor rang back to get some details from me.
Son said he remembers seeing my I pad in Christmas Day 2019 and Said I called the crisis team in the sept 2019 , I told him definitely I did not , he was adamant he had seen it Christmas Day but didn’t say anything.
I tell him I can’t actually make calls from my iPad . He says it was my old I pad I had (true) I tell I still couldn’t call from that . I told him I have never called the crisis team since he was in hospital, he doesn’t believe me , imagine being distrusted by your son .

He mistrusts us and cannot see how I get upset and angry - frustrated, he thinks it’s “them” that’s making me do it.

It will calm down again but don’t know how if this continues we can keep bouncing back.
I’m. 53 and want a normal 53 year olds life.

[JudyC]

I'm sorry to hear your son is still struggling so much, it sounds incredibly stressful. Covid hasn't made things any easier I'm sure. Be kind to yourself and take care xx