Teenage Daughters

[windsor_hills]

My DD, 15, is generally a good kid. She may like her bed lol, but tries hard at school, does her homework, mixes with a small group of friends shopping etc, but doesn’t go to parties, hang about on the streets etc like some of the other girls in her year at school do. (I kid you not).

The problem we’ve now hit is about clothes. In the house she lives in shorts /tshirt or tracksuit bottoms/tshirt, jeans etc...so no issues there.

However, trying to get clothes for our upcoming holiday where she needs dresses / nicer clothes for the restaurants (to meet the dress code) is turning into a nightmare.

The things she is choosing .

If it’s not very short she won’t entertain it. It’s not the kind of things I would choose, but does seem to be ‘the fashion’ these days, even if it is a bit too ‘grown up’ for my liking. Cue awful rows about what is appropriate and what isn’t. Her dad loses his temper really quickly, shouting at her (and then me because I’m too soft on her in his opinion). the atmosphere at times in the house is awful over this, to the point where if this is what it’s going to be like, I don’t want to go on holiday anymore. She shows me pictures of what other girls in her year wear, and gets really upset over it all when i say tough, our house, our rules. She says we are making her feel awful about herself because of what we think of her style / choice of clothes and was extremely upset last night about how dad spoke to her.

I’m trying to be reasonable, and give a little...after all there are far worse things we could be arguing about, but dad is adamant and is saying either no or just washing his hands of it all. I feel stuck in the middle and downright miserable.

Any advice on how to handle this please? Where do you draw the line and how can we find a compromise?

I know this is quite trivial, but the rows it’s causing is awful

[Guest]

Your dd sounds lovely. But I hear you on the clothing front.

My DD is the same. The shorter and slinkier the better. It is uncomfortable for me, and I know my DH doesn't like it.

She is 18 now so the clothes are becoming more age appropriate- but we did have some battles.

I am sorry to say I don't have the answer - just wanted to say you are not alone. Many of her friends who wear the type of clothes you refer to, probably have parents who also see them going out the door and think omg too !

[Guest]

I think at 15, other than abiding to a school uniform, she should have some freedom to choose her own clothes. Loads of 15 year old girls wear short skirts and why shouldn’t they.

[Smilesonfaces]

I do know your pain and my daughter is only 13 !
It would be interesting to know what she is actually choosing though for us to make an opinion.
You say they are not the things you would choose- but in reality did you wear clothes that your mum would have chosen at 15 ? These are holiday clothes not necessarily for walking round town in. I take it she is allowed to wear shorts and they are short!

Our flashpoint at home is crop tops showing the midriff ! Daddies just don’t like to see their little girls grow up but it’s happening wether they like it or not.
Maybe go shoppping just the 2 of you and then at least you can see what she is buying.

Good luck ! Parenting girls is so difficult !

[Willeve]

My daughter just turned 16, I have been dealing with this for about 18 months. If it does not display her midriff and is skin tight she won’t wear it(other than sports wear). I will confess, all the girls in our area seem to dress this way, not just my daughter. In our local town centre the girls are all clones of each other, shopping in the same stores, wearing almost identical outfits. And yet they complain about wearing a school uniform! I don’t have any answers I’m afraid, I feel your pain.

[Juliemack]

A good compromise to the short skirt thing is a playsuit. You can get some very pretty playsuits for evening wear and nice plain ones for day time wear. The ones I've seen and ones my DD has aren't too short either.

[princess allie]

Mmmm tricky. I don’t have a daughter, so perhaps have a different perspective. At 15, I think your daughter should choose her own clothes. But, even with sons, you want them to look halfway decent. There are some lovely dresses out there and it is the fashion for short at the moment. Would she wear skater type dresses, so not the figure hugging style, but allow her to wear it short? Personally, I wouldn’t strain your relationship over a few fashion items for a holiday, but I do understand your dilemma x

[Loopylooloo]

Its all of them at that age, I dont have daughters but have seen all my sons friends like this, I think we are shocked but nobody in their peer group bats an eyelid.

I read some great teenage advice once, let them dress how they want, unless its school, a funeral or wedding etc. Let them keep their room messy, as long as they bring out rubbish and washing, and make then earn their own money and do chores.

Dont let it spoil your holiday, the arguements will be more harmful than anything she is wearing/not wearing. I rebelled with my hair at that age and was most outraged when my parents appeared not to notice, perhaps ignoring it will work?

Not easy being a parent!

[Cha cha]

No advice really, my DD has her way of dressing & I now just leave her to it 😳
I feel your pain though.. Let's hope the fashions change to ankle length skirts soon! Lol! 😁

[Frankie & gang]

My DD is 18, I’ve found when shopping with her that it’s almost impossible to find clothes in the shops for her that aren’t super tight, short or revealing midriff.
OP I’d suggest you go shopping just u & her then you’ll get some input & see what’s on offer.