Talk to someone... anyone! Sensitive post

[Tre85]

Originally Posted by munmun

Sue, if things are so bad someone is contemplating suicide you will never make it worse, actually all you have to do is listen and say very little.

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I have just recently trained as a mental health first aider at work and the overall message was as above. You can't say anything wrong, all you have to do is listen. If someone is already suicidal you will not push them to go through with it also if someone isn't suicidal then mentioning it will not make them contemplate it.

I'd like to share some of the info we received on this course, I hope I don't offend anyone but it really opened my eyes and helped me to understand how I could help someone.

The first thing is be kind, ask people how they are. If you think someone is really struggling then take them to one side and let them know you are there to listen.

We were advised to be blatant and honest and use the following words if someone confides in you that they are really struggling -

'Someone who is going through what you're going through might think about harming or killing themselves have you thought about harming or killing yourself?'

Then if the response is yes, they are contemplating suicide you should follow up with -

'OK, do you know how you will do it?'

There are certain steps a person takes when contemplating suicide - the thought, the plan and the following through. I know it is often difficult as a lot of people show no signs but if they do and they confide in you then this may help save a life, don't be afraid.

If a person says they have a plan then you need to help them to get help. Point them towards groups such as the Samaritans, Mind, Support line, Andys Man Club, their GP, A&E and if you are concerned that they are about to follow through with their plan there and then you need to call 999. Remember you are not a trained doctor, you can listen but you can't cure them, they need to get some professional help.

Also another telling sign is if someone suddenly seems better. If you know someone who is suffering with depression but all of a sudden they seem cured this could be a sign that they have made a plan to end their life. Most people would think it's a great sign and they're feeling better but often it can be a really important red flag.

The more we, as a society, talk about mental health issues the less secretive people may feel they have to be. We need to break the stigma. Remember it is no ones fault it is not the person who takes their lives fault nor the people left behind. This is a terrible illness.

My heart goes out to all the people who have shared their stories in the thread and also the ones who are reading silently and suffering.

My inbox is open for anyone who feels they need to talk xx


samaritans/how-we-ca...talk-us-phone/ Tel - 116 123 (from any phone this will go through)

supportline.uk/problems/mental-health/ Tel -01708 765200

mind.uk/donate/?gcli... AEgIhh_D_BwE

[JediMuM]

sometimes it is a lot harder to get the heklp than it should be.
We have had huge issues with my son cutting himself and when I tried to get help after being passed pillar to post we were told it would be another minimum 9 month wait and to take any medication from his bedroom incase he tries suicide .. honestly I cried, luckily I kicked up a huge fuss and we were seen sooner and he is now getting the help he needs.
the worst thing is this all came after an 18 month wait for his ASD diagnosis which we were given then were dropped.
its so sad the state of the NHS mental health system.

[Tre85]

Originally Posted by JediMuM

sometimes it is a lot harder to get the heklp than it should be.
We have had huge issues with my son cutting himself and when I tried to get help after being passed pillar to post we were told it would be another minimum 9 month wait and to take any medication from his bedroom incase he tries suicide .. honestly I cried, luckily I kicked up a huge fuss and we were seen sooner and he is now getting the help he needs.
the worst thing is this all came after an 18 month wait for his ASD diagnosis which we were given then were dropped.
its so sad the state of the NHS mental health system.

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You're right it is so hard to get help. Your son is so lucky to have you to push and kick up a fuss because someone with MH issues wouldn't necessarily do it for themselves, that's why its so important for people to help where they can. I'm glad he is getting some help now.

The guy who trained me for MH first aid said he approached a colleague of his who was going through a divorce, her dad had died and she was stressed at work. She told him a few months later that she had tried to get help but was told she would be waiting at least 12 months and that if he hadn't approached her she wouldn't have made it. She had planned to end her life. We have to help each other and fight for people who have lost a bit of their fight!