depression and loneliness

[MargaretMouse]

As many of you no my husband died seven months ago and these last two weeks it’s hit me really bad. It hasn’t helped that I have a really nasty neighbour who plays music every night to about 12pm really loud and had the audacity to bang loudly on my door when he had a few too many and told me my son plays his computer of a night, which he does and he can’t sleep. My neighbour yesterday told me he is keeping a diary and how he only liked my husband and can’t stand me. It been really hard my son who is 24 is autistic and has just got a girlfriend she is American is staying here for six months so he is naturally spending all his time with her. I have two daughters and obviously they have their own families. My mum is 87 and excellent but too tired to come round a lot. I just feel so low and lost without my husband and just feel there no point in living anymore. I’m not suicidal, just feel nothing. I’m sorry it’s a long post. I no I have Florida soon, but I try to have a interest but I feel my heart has been ripped out, life is not the same anymore and I just feel numb. I needed to put this down as I hope someone might be able to give me some ideas.

[hipthehippo]

Hi - I didn't want to read and run, especially as I really don't know what to say about your neighbour other than to say he's obviously a nasty piece of work. I know you say your daughters have their own lives, but, perhaps you could ask them for some support with dealing with your neighbour at the very least? Do they have assertive partners? As for how depressed you're feeling, I know it's hard to reach out, and you've taken that first step on here - do you think you could approach your GP for some help? Or perhaps the Cruse Helpline? I don't know if I'm being any help here and I'm well aware there are some MH professionals on the here. I can only offer a virtual hug.

[MargaretMouse]

My middle daughter is really good, but she has five children and three of them are autistic, she would speak to my neighbour or her husband would but I’m sure it would only make the matter worse, if he is out, I look and see if his van is there and if it’s not I will go to the shops etc, I’m trying not to bump into him. He really is a awful man. I have not heard of cruse I will look them up and it’s so nice of you to reply, it helps as I no people care.

[cornflakegirl]

I’m so sorry to read about your loss, I can sense how much you miss your husband and the emptiness grief can bring. I think the previous post about reaching out to somewhere like Cruise might be an idea to think about. There may also be local groups that could help support you, the local library would usually have details of these. Dealing with your neighbour will probably take a lot of energy you don’t have right now but if you can seek help your local community police officer could advise and also your local council should have someone who deals with noise issues like you have with your neighbour. Sorry I don’t have much more to offer than that but please reach out to someone and don’t struggle alone for too long. Take care x

[duchy]

Another one suggesting getting your local community police person involved.
This horrible man is trying to bully you.
With his music , have you tried noise cancelling headphones ? He’s clearly trying to wind you up?
If him coming around and banging on your door scaring and intimidating you then it is possible to get an injunction taken out against him as a last resort. Effectively preventing him from harassing you.

[alibeau]

Hi MM 💕

7 months is no time at all 💕

You have experienced an overwhelming heartbreak but hopefully, little by little you will start to feel brighter again. You need to give yourself more time and far more credit for how well you have coped so far…..

Seek support where you can, local grief groups or even online support can be helpful.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster MM so be kind to yourself.

Sending best wishes.

Ali x

[Bootrip2]

So very sorry to read of the troubles you are having. You have the loss of your lovely husband to deal with along with other family stuff to go along with. As others have suggested please get some help. This neighbour is a bully, and it is wrong what he is doing and he knows you are vulnerable right now. Do you have a friend who can come and stay over some nights?

[Twinklestar1]

So sorry you are going through this MM. I think the previous posters have given good suggestions. 7 months is still very early from the loss of your husband and you have been incredibly strong. Do reach out for help xx

[Gill H]

So sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now. Please do talk to your GP and tell them how you are feeling. There is no right way to feel and everyone deals with grief differently, but you don’t need to go through it alone.

I hope you can get some help with the neighbour too.

[ClaireNJ]

Margaret this neighbour sounds an idiot I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said about you obviously drunk
Have you got any friends that can help you through this time
I’d keep a log of his noise & report to the Council, he knows you are on your own & taking the Mickey literally
Take care
PM me anytime you want to talk ❤️
X