She was going for a run RIP Ashling

[TinkTatoo]

Originally Posted by louiseybobs

I ran this morning
I purposely wore my bright coloured club running t shirt with my name on it, I researched pepper spray on my phone before I left (didn’t realise it was classed as a weapon so not allowed)
And for the first time ever, I shared my live location with John and he panicked when I’d stopped to chat to someone
We shouldn’t have to do this 😣

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I'm a runner and before this wouldn't have given a though to my route or my safety, I'd just pop on my headphones listen to a playlist on my watch and head out often early in the morning and on quiet rural roads. I'm now second guessing my routes and planning on taking my phone with me so I can share my location.

I've copied this from the page of a local women's refuge, it says it all really.

We don't want to hear "it's not all men". For the violence to stop, “all men” need to take responsibility for making it happen. The responsibility for ending violence against women does not lie with women.

⚠️ All men can learn to be better allies to women
⚠️ All men can prevent violence by speaking out when they encounter violent behaviour
⚠️ All men can listen to women
⚠️ All men can take NO for an answer
⚠️ All men can notice when a woman feels unsafe or uncomfortable
⚠️ All men can help change the culture
⚠️ All men can speak up for women
⚠️ All men can call out sexist & misogynist behaviour
⚠️ All men can understand that violence against women exists on a continuum. What starts with - sexist jokes, catcalling, harassment, stalking, sexist behaviour, misogynist attitudes & control & abuse - can & does end with rape & murder
⚠️ All men can teach their sons, fathers & brothers to respect women & girls

It's not enough for men to not be violent towards women & it's not up to women to keep ourselves safe. We need men not to use violence, not to excuse violence & not be silent about violence.
"It's not all men" but it's always men.

[MamatoFelix]

Originally Posted by TinkTatoo

It's not enough for men to not be violent towards women & it's not up to women to keep ourselves safe. We need men not to use violence, not to excuse violence & not be silent about violence.
"It's not all men" but it's always men.

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I love this ❤️

After having a son I feel I have a duty to teach him all those things you’ve listed. The importance of consent, understanding boundaries and recognising when no means no. How he shouldn’t look the other way either. I want him to call out misogyny. I want him to recognise that the things he may not perceive as a threat can make a woman feel vulnerable. I want him to recognise when a woman might need help.

Such tragic loss of life RIP Ashling.

[Floridadreams]

Originally Posted by MamatoFelix

I love this ❤️

After having a son I feel I have a duty to teach him all those things you’ve listed. The importance of consent, understanding boundaries and recognising when no means no. How he shouldn’t look the other way either. I want him to call out misogyny. I want him to recognise that the things he may not perceive as a threat can make a woman feel vulnerable. I want him to recognise when a woman might need help.

Such tragic loss of life RIP Ashling.

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I teach mine all the things that are listed but I sometimes feel at a loss! This whole “protect your daughter’s, educate your son’s” crap - I have one of both and I feel so much pressure! I try to bring my kids up to look out for others, speak out when there’s a wrong, look after their friends and fellow human beings. I get that this conversation is about making men rethink their behaviour. But, I just feel pressure! How do I make my son aware that no matter how sensitive he is he could scare women without just making him paranoid? How do I make my teenage girl aware of every threat without scaring her and making her paranoid? I mean, she asked a few months ago if her and her friend could walk along the same canal Ashling was murdered, and when I said no, she honestly thought our only concern was that they’d get lost!

[Floridadreams]

Vigils being held this weekend in UK
London - Saturday at 4pm at London Irish Centre
Manchester - Sunday at 4pm at St Peter’s Square
I believe there are also vigils in Edinburgh and Glasgow, but not sure of the details.
Just in case anyone was close by and felt the need to do something x

[littlelish0544]

Originally Posted by Floridadreams

Did you read what was written before stating not every man is a threat? “ Every man is a threat. And yes, I do mean you. You will at sometime have made a woman feel uncomfortable just be being there - she will have crossed the road, or phoned a friend, or popped into a shop to get away from you etc etc”. That is true whether you like it or not! And yes, it is a perceived threat, but it is very real to that woman at that time - even if you are the nicest man in the world! We know that not all men are like this, but, we don’t know which ones are safe and which are not. A man does not have that worry about women. So, whilst we all have to be aware, it is not the same experience for men as it is for women!
Fact is, yet another woman’s life has been cut short at the hands of a man who is still at large. Many women did not go for that walk/run yesterday because of that!

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Yes I did read everything before posting, and wrote and deleted my post three times before sending as I am aware if how threads can turn on the dibb.

I stand by my post.

I will add at this point now that my son 5 yrs ago was walking home through a park in Birmingham at 3pm on a sunny weekday afternoon and was stabbed. Thankfully he was not seriously injured. But the was no motive or reason for his attack.

I myself have reason to be fearful when on my own, which is personal and I wont how/what/where on here.

But I still think your statement was rather sweeping and not a healthy way to think.

Be alert all the time, not afraid all the time.

[Floridadreams]

Originally Posted by littlelish0544

Yes I did read everything before posting, and wrote and deleted my post three times before sending as I am aware if how threads can turn on the dibb.

I stand by my post.

I will add at this point now that my son 5 yrs ago was walking home through a park in Birmingham at 3pm on a sunny weekday afternoon and was stabbed. Thankfully he was not seriously injured. But the was no motive or reason for his attack.

I myself have reason to be fearful when on my own, which is personal and I wont how/what/where on here.

But I still think your statement was rather sweeping and not a healthy way to think.

Be alert all the time, not afraid all the time.

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I’m sorry to hear about your son but glad to read that he wasn’t seriously injured.
It actually wasn’t my post originally, but I agree with what was said and stand by my post too. Women are on alert all of the time, and are often afraid of men who are probably wonderful people like you and your son. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.
I also know that men are victims of violence too and do sometimes have reason to be afraid or alert.
This morning I went to a vigil by the canal. I then went to sign a book of condolence in my town. When I got there I had to wait as there were three teenagers writing in it - they were early teens. I was surprised that they’d stopped, but the words they wrote have made me cry again. It’s just all so heartbreaking.
The police have another suspect but he’s not been arrested as far as I’m aware. My friend this morning got a lift with us to the canal meeting point, when she would normally have walked. She said he’s still out there and until he’s caught she won’t feel safe walking down the canal 😢

[princess allie]

Another tragic loss of a young life. I really don’t have the words to express how I feel when I hear these things. But I’ll just go with sadness.

[Bad Pink Tink]

A man with an address in Mucklagh, Offaly, was brought before a special sitting of Tullamore District Court this evening.

He was remanded to custody at Cloverhill District Court until 26 January.

As this is now a live case, people need to be aware that posting opinions online could prejudice the trail.

Maybe this thread should be locked