Advice please UPDATE Post 66

[DisneyWannabe]

Originally Posted by djewkes

she doesn’t want him back but she doesn’t want him in prison either...

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I can totally understand this, especially as they have children together. She is still in the "grieving" stages of the relationship so no doubt it will be tricky for some time. I'm sure with all the support she will be able to overcome all of this. He has, after all, brought it all on himself!

God bless you all.

[katiec68]

Originally Posted by djewkes

Well DD reported him to the police on Saturday because he had text her as well as the other stuff, they arrested him and kept him in until today when he is in from of the magistrates... they may keep him in till his court date on jan 7th...
DD is in a bit of a state, she’s feeling guilty for reporting him which I did expect... lots of other worries due to the kids, Christmas and covid restrictions (we’re tier 3)... she doesn’t want him back but she doesn’t want him in prison either...

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Good for your daughter and fingers crossed they will keep him in.

I think it is completely natural to feel guilty - obviously your daughter is a decent person and that's how decent people feel!
However if she can think of the wider situation - as to why she has had to be placed in a situation where she feels quilty - then she shouldn't feel so bad about it! (If that makes any sense!)

As others have said it is unfortunately not a straightforward linear situation - but the more time she has away from him the better she will be.

Best wishes x

[djewkes]

They’ve released him on bail again and bought the hearing forward to this Friday... So much less of a wait...
Thankyou so much everyone for support and opinions...

[Tco200]

Originally Posted by djewkes

They’ve released him on bail again and bought the hearing forward to this Friday... So much less of a wait...
Thankyou so much everyone for support and opinions...

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I know it’s not easy but I hope she can Remember whatever happens with him it’s not her fault, if he ends up in prison it’s on him and him alone.

She obviously has a super support network around her

[sparklegirl]

Its very hard but she didnt do anything, he is responsible for the action that had consequences. He is clearly not thinking about her the way she is about him. He has full control over not breaking the conditions, your daughter didnt set them the court did and again that was as a result of the choice he made to harm her and commit and offence. He is solely responsible for what he does and the outcome afterward not matter what that is.

She will need support and probably professional help to come to terms with the, undeserved, guilt she will feel. I cant stress enough he is the only one that is responsible for the actions and consequences of them!

[djewkes]

UPDATE
4 weeks jail sentence suspended for 18 months, 30 hours of rehabilitation activities (?) and an 18 month restrain8ng order... plus he cannot see his kids alone and is banned from being alone with any child under 16 (that’s a longer order I think)...
DD is pleased with this result, and says hopefully after 18 months he will have moved on to his next “victim”...
She is so relaxed and happy, a changed person... We know she will have some downs but she is so positive now...

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Awesome news. A good result and I can tell you are pleased.

Well done to all of you for standing up to this excuse for a human being.

[Bianca]

Originally Posted by djewkes

UPDATE
4 weeks jail sentence suspended for 18 months, 30 hours of rehabilitation activities (?) and an 18 month restrain8ng order... plus he cannot see his kids alone and is banned from being alone with any child under 16 (that’s a longer order I think)...
DD is pleased with this result, and says hopefully after 18 months he will have moved on to his next “victim”...
She is so relaxed and happy, a changed person... We know she will have some downs but she is so positive now...

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Thanks for updating us. I'm glad it's a clear and positive outcome. It must be such a relief to see your daughter relax.

She's fortunate to have your love and support while she recovers and changes her focus away from him and onto happier and more optimistic things.

[Taffy1959]

Thanks for the update
Perhaps this will make him think about his behaviour towards your daughter and leave her alone.
I was so happy when my ex met someone else as it meant he left me alone
Best wishes to you and your daughter
Have a lovely Christmas 🎄

[dismamx2]

Thanks for the update, glad this got sorted before Christmas. Your dd sounds ready to put him behind her so that's a great start. I would guess at rehabilitation activities being something like anger management classes or similar?!

I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas