Dads present at a birth

[mickey house]

I had this conversation with my son and his girlfriend regards dads being present at the birth of their child. I genuinely prefer the old way where the man waited outside the delivery room until the lady gave birth and she and the baby were cleaned and wrapped up and then he was called in.

My wife insisted that I was present at the birth of our son and I was slightly traumatised by it, and I know my opinion will be against most (nothing new there), and even my son and his girlfriend thought I was old fashioned in my view and the dad should always be present at a birth.

So does anyone agree with me that the old way is best (dad only gets called in after clean up and wrap up)?

[Donz1979]

I think dads should be present if not only for support.
I had my husband and my mam with me.

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by Donz1979

I think dads should be present if not only for support.
I had my husband and my mam with me.

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Fair enough, but it was bad enough me being there let alone my mother in law standing next to me watching it all

[Dinglebert]

Originally Posted by mickey house

Fair enough, but it was bad enough me being there let alone my mother in law standing next to me watching it all

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Was that the birth or conception?

[Floridatilly]

When I was 15 my best friend, who was pregnant, wanted me there. No man on the scene.
I must say that I was traumatised by the whole thing but it was also the most magical, emotional experience ever. I feel like I have a special bond with her son and I will never forget it, that was 32 years ago.
It did put me off having children of my own to be honest, not sure if thats why I waited until I was 30 to start a family.
It is a very personal choice though, my husband would not have missed it for the world, he cried his eyes out with all 3 of our children.

[Sue]

MH you are not alone, there is plenty of research and articles out there saying that many (more than a few) men are traumatised by seeing their partners give birth. They are alarmed at the pain and the mess. Some never view their partners in the same light again and it does cause relationships to break down and/or there to never be another pregnancy.
For this reason, depending on the situation, midwives often encourage birth partners to be at the head end only!

[Loobylou_82]

I was glad my husband was there for the birth of our children and so was he. It also showed him that not all births are straight forward as I had a forceps delivery with our first child. But it is a personal choice and some men are very squeamish and wouldn't cope well.

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by Sue

MH you are not alone, there is plenty of research and articles out there saying that many (more than a few) men are traumatised by seeing their partners give birth. They are alarmed at the pain and the mess. Some never view their partners in the same light again and it does cause relationships to break down and/or there to never be another pregnancy.
For this reason, depending on the situation, midwives often encourage birth partners to be at the head end only!

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Thanks Sue, it's good to know that I'm not alone, and I was at the feet end so saw everything

[Neil & Stella]

Originally Posted by mickey house

So does anyone agree with me that the old way is best (dad only gets called in after clean up and wrap up)?

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No, no and thrice no.

[jdouds]

Historically no men,(except some of the royal courts as it was almost a spectator sport) not sure when the balance of this changed. For some now they are almost pressurised into it. Should really be individual preference.