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Old 4 Oct 21, 06:43 PM  
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JLH
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Mobile When does the sadness ease ?

Last Wednesday my lovely little dog had to go vets as he stopped eating abs he was diagnosed with kidney failure and sadly had to put to sleep that day. We had him in our lives for nearly 18 years and I was and still am so upset over it . I honestly never thought I would be this bad and even my sons say you got to stop being so upset mum but I just can’t . I am ok when I am busy at work but as soon as I get home the sadness takes over again . I know people must think I am being silly as it’s a pet and I truly want to remember him without crying or getting upset but I just can’t . I get really cross with my boys who are trying to help and say let’s get another as I wouldn’t ever want to feel this way again .
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Old 4 Oct 21, 06:58 PM  
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bonnies mum
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It’s dreadful- I know after losing our dog In February. It will take some time - it’s only been in the last couple of months that I have been able to look back, think of Bonnie, and smile, though I did shed a wee tear about her over the weekend.
I recognise your comment about never wanting to feel like you are currently doing, Remember it well. J
I said to my DH just after we lost Bonnie that I could understand how some people would get another dog almost immediately but that wasn’t for me.
8 months on I’m still not ready to get another dog - but won’t rule it out some point in the future.
Just give yourself time to grieve. Xx

Edited at 07:01 PM.
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Old 4 Oct 21, 06:58 PM  
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Sending the biggest hugs. You've lost a member of your family, there are no 'rules' on what is okay. Like any grief you'll go through all the stages, and they all take differing amounts of time for different people. I wish there was something I could say or do that would ease the pain, but loving your boy so deeply is what's making it hurt so much. Just take each day as it comes, manage however you can/need to, one day the pain will be easier to live with, but it's been less than a week be patient and gentle with yourself.

Sending you all the love xx
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:01 PM  
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enjibenji
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They are our family so its normal to be so upset. My benji is 16 and not in good health and I am dreading the day when it comes. The only positive I can think of is that we are able to put them out of suffering. You have given your lovely dog all those years, full of love and happiness, it will take time to come to terms with it and to think of him without crying. ❤
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:04 PM  
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Danex
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Oh I’m so sorry about your little dog 😢 I don’t know what to say to help, but I certainly don’t think you’re silly for feeling this way.

I’m sure everyone who has had a dog understands how you feel, they really are a family member, not just a pet, and if he was your only dog then I bet your house feels a bit empty without him.

Hopefully someone else will be along with some words to help, but just be gentle with yourself, you’ve suffered a big loss, and it will take time.

Sending hugs to you xx
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:04 PM  
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Welsh_Dragon
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My dog died unexpectedly in his sleep aged 6, almost two years ago. I think of myself as a strong person, but honestly I grieved more for that dog than I did for my parents. The silence in the house was heartbreaking. I cried in bed at night, just remembering the feel of him. I missed him terribly. I bought a puppy of the same breed 3 months later. It took me probably a year to bond with him properly. I cared for him, walked him etc., but I held back. Only in the last six months has he found his own place in my heart.
Grief is a strange thing. Take time to heal.
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:09 PM  
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Poppycat
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Hi JLH

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our boy very suddenly 3 years ago and it has taken a long time for us to look at pictures and videos and smile rather than blub but we now can and very often do. We miss him every day but are so thankful for every day we had with him. They are a huge part of your life and never feel you shouldn’t feel their loss any less because they are a pet.

Someone told me that the loss is like waves crashing on a beach. Massive, intense and uncontrollable to start but they get gentler and gentler to lapping the shore as time goes on. Time truly does heal

We were in a unique position to re-home one of our boys siblings very soon after we lost him and decided that although it was very very soon it was good for us and good for our new boy. We helped each other. For us, facing that pain again sometime in the future is a trade off for the love and joy we have now.

Massive hugs xxx
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:13 PM  
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ROBBOTOO
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Aw bless you. It’s very early days. It does get easier but you aren’t even a week since losing your fur baby. It’s a bereavement. Pets are family. The loss is the same.

I’ve never had dogs only cats, but the loss will be the same.

I’m not sure you can move on very quickly to another. I found I knew when it was the right time to give more fur babies a lovely home. I would think now may be a little too soon for you. You need to grieve.
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:18 PM  
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shirley
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I knew the time was close when our wee sheltie started slowing down etc. I just cherished every extra day we had and had a day and a half to get used to the knowledge that we had to take her to the vets for her final trip. Cried for days but I actually was better than I had ever imagined because I know she was loved 1000%, and had a brillant live with us and she was a true blessing to us all. Now just under a year we are getting a new wee girl this coming Monday, but I am holding back until we see her, I just hope I can love her as much as my darling Cara, who really was my wee pal for the 14 years we had her.

Your grief is totally normal, and slowly each day will get a little easier. My hubby wanted a pup immediately after losing our girl, but was nice to have the summer without worrying about the dog when we were out. I really miss her cuddles, but it really does get a bit easier. Our family still have our moments when we have a cry over her and luckily no-one has criticised us for that. Be gentle on yourself, its till early days xxx
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Old 4 Oct 21, 07:19 PM  
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Ryles
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You’re not being silly at all. I’ve lost 2 of my dogs in the past 16 months. The most recent in August this year. Both quite young and both become ill very quickly. I was and still am absolutely gutted. My dogs are my family so for me it’s like losing a family member. It’s like any grief. It never goes but does get easier with time. I found Mia’s collar a couple of weeks ago. It still smelt of her, I had a little cry. In actual fact I’m crying now writing this. I miss her so much and hate myself for not being able to save her. You may find that you can never get another dog or you may find in a few months you are ready. Personally I can never not have a dog in my life. I have so much love to give so when one goes I always rescue another. It fills that hole, my house is so empty without a dog. You just need to take your time and go easy on yourself. It’s still very raw. There’s people out there that you can talk to. I think the blue cross have a counselling type service you can access. But don’t beat yourself up. Grieve as much as you need to xxx
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