Unacceptable behaviour from a carer

[Melonz]

My daughter 16 attends a weekly life skills club run by Bernardos. She has a really tough time there as she feels they treat her differently from the other kids who are in wheelchairs or obviously disabled. She says they talk to her like she's just naughty. They've complained to me and social sevices about her behaviour and luckily our SW is great and knows Paris and more importantly knows the other kids who are more switched on and use the situation to their advantage. Bernardos were upset with Paris because she wouldn't wash up and didn't seem to care that it meant the other kids would have to do it. Hello..she has Autism that equals lack of empathy, if that means Jack has to do the washing up, good that means she doesn't and couldn't give two hoots Do these people know what they're doing?

Anyway, I'm waffling. Back to Friday. Paris came home and look like she'd been made over from the make up artist from the Rocky Horror Show.

Apparently they used a "professional" make up artist. Yeah right. Of course I said " you look wonderful darling".

So, then I was told the boys did travel training. Great for them. This is exactly what Paris needs not a FX make up session.

After Paris got in she told me that she told one of the workers that she wasn't getting on the bus (she says this every week) and he said " get on the F bus" Straight away she said she was telling and she did and no bloody notice was taken and the man said she was lying. OMG I've been FUMING all weekend. I reported it to her SW and he's going mental. He contacted Barnardos and the guy admitted it and he has to apologise to Paris and myself. It's being taken extremely seriously as he said my daughter has lied and if you've read my other thread you'll realise how important it is not to call her that.

I'm sick to death of the life skills club. as far as I can tell there are no life skills involved. Can't wait until it finishes in March.

We're lucky we have a great SW. He's pretty new and enthusiatic and he likes us which helps

[Guest]

Complete unacceptable behaviour from a carer. I am afraid I am not at all surprised with what we have seen and had to put with over the years. Yes there are some fantastic carers out there but some do it for an easy job. Give me an older carer any day.

[dididave]

Originally Posted by mainecoon lover

Complete unacceptable behaviour from a carer. I am afraid I am not at all surprised with what we have seen and had to put with over the years. Yes there are some fantastic carers out there but some do it for an easy job. Give me an older carer any day.

See more...

If someone chooses caring as an "easy job" then they are either stupid, naive or both and it can never be considered easy. I also think it is massively over generalising to presume older carers will somehow be better. They will likely have more experience but they can also be more jaded and be difficult to teach due to having old practises ingrained into them. Age is a total irrelevance. The problem with care at the moment it is the only job that is still relatively prevalent in the market which is why the wrong people are going into it. I don't think it has much to do with it being easy.

The carer in questions behaviour is totally unacceptable however, and if my daughter was so upset I would be pushing for more than an apology. Will she have to deal with this carer again? Are there no other life skills courses nearby? Glad you have such a good social worker by the way! Not often they get praise!

[riverdancefan]

It doesn't sound like it is the right place for her..if she is having a tough time there, I am not sure I would want her to be there...

is there something else more geared to ASD children?

[Melonz]

It finishes in the next couple of weeks and she will attend a youth club for special needs which will be much better for her. I forgot to say that this isn't over the apology is just the beginning! My SW has taken this very seriously and it has gone to the "big Boss". This "carer" only comes in if they are understaffed, which they were this week. I have to let my sw know if we received the apology, what he said and if Paris was treated badly because of this at the next session. I told you he's great! We've had our fair share of duds including one who was trying to tell me that Autism is not a disability

[Guest]

We have had problems with my oh sisters care, its been that bad that we have stopped them coming and we are doing it for her. They let her go over a full week in the hoildays without taking a bath and told her they are not her cleaners, and she should know when to bath, jo needs a little help to get going but once she is she will help do anything. The last straw was when one shouted at her in the street Jo sw is great too and is behide us 100%. They have been reported and we are still waiting to hear from them.

hope you get things sorted out

[Heather1957]

Dealing with children and adults who need special care takes a special kind of person and it doesn't sound as if this carer has those skills.

My niece works with adults who have physical and educational needs and she has the perfect personality for this.

It certainly isn't for everyone but having the 'wrong' person in that job could turn out to be very damaging.

[dididave]

Originally Posted by Heather1957

Dealing with children and adults who need special care takes a special kind of person and it doesn't sound as if this carer has those skills.

My niece works with adults who have physical and educational needs and she has the perfect personality for this.

It certainly isn't for everyone but having the 'wrong' person in that job could turn out to be very damaging.

See more...

Yep, it is definitely a vocation and as good as the new regulations are in terms of ensurer people aren't offenders, it doesn't weed out poor carers.

[skelfbsfb]

I work in the care sector, you can also complain to the care commission, who cares, childrens rights etc if you are unsatisfied with the care that you daughter has received.

[lindylou2_2002]

Originally Posted by mainecoon lover

Complete unacceptable behaviour from a carer. I am afraid I am not at all surprised with what we have seen and had to put with over the years. Yes there are some fantastic carers out there but some do it for an easy job. Give me an older carer any day.

See more...

No where does the OP say it’s a young Carer that swore at her DD. I am very offended by that comment as I was a young carer for my Grandfather and qualified at 18 with my C&Gs.
I worked with older care assistants in the nursing home, But when I accompanied an elderly client to hospital who begged me not to leave her it was the older carer who told me if I didn’t go back to the home he would say I was skiving, she died on the trolley all alone because at 18 I was too scared to stand up to this man.
It also wasn’t a young care assistant who left my grandmother on the toilet for half an hour then shouted at her for falling on the floor and fracturing her hip.
It sounds like the carers in the op case are ignorant and need some retraining in how to deal with all types of conditions not just the visable disabilities but also the invisible ones too. Nothing to do with it being it being an easy job or of the person being young in years.