Advice needed. RE dad taken advantage of by Uncle/taking money

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Hoaplaong50

This is a difficult one. I'm a debt recovery officer for a county council and deal with these situations more often than I would like when dealing with unpaid debts - sometimes due to family members being financially abused.
There is a fine line between fil making 'unwise decisions' and him being taken advantage of.
As others have said - contact Adult Social Care first thing tomorrow. There should be a Helpdesk number on your county council's website. Report that you have concerns re fil and financial abuse. They will advise whether it needs a referral or may signpost you to other options such as Age UK. Do you think he lacks capacity to make decisions surrounding his finances or is just giving in to the Uncle?
Does anyone have lasting power of attorney for fil? If he has capacity, I would get that set up straight away if no one currently does. This doesn't give the right to handle his finances but will if he loses capacity. He can always, through a solicitor, make you financial representative (or someone he trusts) and then you can legally handle his funds.
Take advice and then speak to fil and uncle - Uncle may well open up a bit more if you say you are taking formal advice.
Keep us updated with how you get on.

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Thanks for this great advice. Michael's other aunt has power of attorney. She helps his dad to do his shopping and takes him to the building society which is where he withdraws the funds. This is what flagged up these issues. I'll find these numbers asap. It sounds like we need to do this before we look at legal options.

[Bootrip2]

What a terrible situation. Definetly report the suspected financial abuse to social services and contact advocacy if you have this in your area. I wouldnt alert the uncle at the moment of what you are doing in case he takes it out on your fil, and tries to persuade him that you are the problem. Get as much information as you can and take advice on this. Could you take fil to his bank maybe and get detailed statements from there too, and set up power of attourney asap like previously advised, once you realise you need it, its usually too late to set up.
Good luck, x

[Bootrip2]

Does fil get benefits? If he is a vulnerable adult you can request to act as his appointee if he hasnt already got someone to do this already?

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Hoaplaong50

This is a difficult one. I'm a debt recovery officer for a county council and deal with these situations more often than I would like when dealing with unpaid debts - sometimes due to family members being financially abused.
There is a fine line between fil making 'unwise decisions' and him being taken advantage of.
As others have said - contact Adult Social Care first thing tomorrow. There should be a Helpdesk number on your county council's website. Report that you have concerns re fil and financial abuse. They will advise whether it needs a referral or may signpost you to other options such as Age UK. Do you think he lacks capacity to make decisions surrounding his finances or is just giving in to the Uncle?
Does anyone have lasting power of attorney for fil? If he has capacity, I would get that set up straight away if no one currently does. This doesn't give the right to handle his finances but will if he loses capacity. He can always, through a solicitor, make you financial representative (or someone he trusts) and then you can legally handle his funds.
Take advice and then speak to fil and uncle - Uncle may well open up a bit more if you say you are taking formal advice.
Keep us updated with how you get on.

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I'd say he both lacks the capacity and gives in to the Uncle. He doesn't have any idea how much the bills should be and clearly doesn't challenge the Uncle over them. He can't even strip his bed. We're taking him to the memory clinic because he forgot that he had grandchildren today when we reminded him that it was Michael's Father's Day too ☹️

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by sully301

If you suspect he is being taken advantage of then please ring adult social care for advice before you do anything. Doing anything else can muddy the waters and affect any action taken in future.

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I absolutely agree. I don't want to make things more complicated when we're trying to get help.

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Redsox77

As well as financial abuse, there appears the suggestion of psychological abuse ie if your fil doesn’t want to use the kitchen after a certain time in case he angers the uncle.
Pleas do contact the safeguarding team first thing tomorrow.

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We will. Apparently he tells fil that he's useless and a waste of space and physically removes the remote control for the telly when he gets home from the pub at six. He told him that if he breaks their oven, he'll have to pay for it and now fil won't cook with it because he's intimidated.

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Bootrip2

What a terrible situation. Definetly report the suspected financial abuse to social services and contact advocacy if you have this in your area. I wouldnt alert the uncle at the moment of what you are doing in case he takes it out on your fil, and tries to persuade him that you are the problem. Get as much information as you can and take advice on this. Could you take fil to his bank maybe and get detailed statements from there too, and set up power of attourney asap like previously advised, once you realise you need it, its usually too late to set up.
Good luck, x

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This is also a concern. We don't know what the uncle might do to cause issues. We're trying to do move house so that fil can live with us but we'd still need to know what was happening with his house. I wouldn't put it past the uncle to change the locks and burn the deeds.

Michael's other aunt has power of attorney and we're going to see if we can take a look at fil's finances.

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Bootrip2

Does fil get benefits? If he is a vulnerable adult you can request to act as his appointee if he hasnt already got someone to do this already?

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He is on benefits and I'll take a look at this.

[Warkman58]

I would get power of attorney over your father in laws legal dealings,this will give you a much better standpoint to confront his BIL.

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Warkman58

I would get power of attorney over your father in laws legal dealings,this will give you a much better standpoint to confront his BIL.

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Hi, Michael's nice aunt has power of attorney. That's good for the short term but we need to look at things for the long term.