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7 Oct 20, 08:43 PM |
#31
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Imagineer
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Could you not introduce your mum to eBay and show her than she can sell some of the less sentimental stuff to help them out financially. If they are ina bit of a pickle with money then it may come across as a bit of an incentive to get rid of some of it.
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7 Oct 20, 09:14 PM |
#32
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Imagineer
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I agree with others that this won’t be easily fixed. My paternal grandparents were exactly the same. At one point they had 3 microwaves lined up on the kitchen counter. 2 that didn’t work...
we found all manner of stuff when we had to clear the house. An entire case of Furbies! We would have been children when Furbies were first a thing but they never gave us one! 😆 A couple of unopened Commodore 64s, MSX consoles and a load of lego! Bags and bags Of bean bag filler and I think my father counter over 60 unopened shirts in my grandfather’s dressing room. Also unopened St Michael string pants from goodness knows when?! That’s just a small selection! I think it would be more than fair to ask that your room is clear if you’re paying £500 a month. I honestly think you’re being taken advantage of. I know you want to help your parents but this is quite extreme and beyond the call of duty. The house could be sold or even another property? This really isn’t fair on you at all. As your parents get older this really could end up being quite a dangerous place for them to be. I think you’re amazing offering to do this
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8 Oct 20, 12:00 PM |
#33
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Trainee Dibber
Join Date: Jul 02
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So sorry you have found yourself in this situation. It's a really tough one with no easy or quick solutions. You are obviously very caring people to have given up your own home to help your parents.
First i would find out more about Hoarding disorder and whether either or both of your parents are suffering the disorder rather than just the loose term of hoarding. hoarding.iocdf/for-famil...g-disorder-hd/ may be of help with this. It also gives lots of other helpful advice. If there is any chance either of your parents have this disorder, it's best not to force them to get rid of items or to get rid of them without their permission. This will often make them more anxious and result in them collecting more stuff. From what i have read and seen, it tends to get worse, decade by decade. Research is still in early stages, professional help is often hard to get and trying to help hoarders is incredibly slow and frustrating. But there is some information and help out there. |
8 Oct 20, 02:27 PM |
#34
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Imagineer
Join Date: May 08
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It’s a mental illness so unless they are ready to get rid of stuff then they won’t. Me husband worked in a hoarders house, helping her to clear it, they filled up a skip of stuff and when he went back on Monday she had emptied the skip and put everything back in the house. Half the time he spent taking to her to pick up more stuff that she had bought in his van, she then got fed up with him because the work wasn’t progressing. He said he threw stuff in the skip and she went and got it back out once he went home. He gave up in the end and said he was too busy when she asked. They have to start with small steps and might need professional help xx
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9 Oct 20, 08:49 PM |
#35
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Thread Starter
Imagineer
Join Date: Apr 15
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UPDATE:
Thanks for the advice! So, after the heated argument, I came home to find my mum pulling down boxes in one of the bedrooms. We cleared five bags of stuff and my dad tiled the fireplace with the tiles that have been in the cellar-not-cellar for something like 15-20 years. We'll see what tomorrow brings. |
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9 Oct 20, 10:03 PM |
#36
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Imagineer
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20 Oct 20, 02:10 PM |
#37
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Guest
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If you're still around, I was just wondering how things are progressing? : - )
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7 Nov 20, 10:19 AM |
#38
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Thread Starter
Imagineer
Join Date: Apr 15
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Hi again,
Currently, we're slowly emptying the bedroom that nobody can get into. There a corridor almost to the window now and I can see the side of the bed for the first time in years. Although this is mainly motivated by the need for the bedroom to be used in the coming weeks. Either way, we're slowly progressing with various things throughout the house moving on. It's going to take the next year if we keep going.
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7 Nov 20, 10:22 AM |
#39
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Imagineer
Join Date: Sep 15
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Hopefully the more that gets cleared out the easier it will be for your parents to accept that things need to go. It must be exhausting for you all.
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7 Nov 20, 11:07 AM |
#40
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VIP Dibber
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My DH can be a bit like that
His Uncle gave him an old record player and speakers that didn’t work and they were in our hall for months until I told him he had a week to take them somewhere to be repaired or throw them out or I would, they were taken to the tip a few days later. When his dad died he brought shoes and clothes and was planning on wearing them. The fact that his dad was tiny and his shoes were a size smaller than DH wears seemed to have escaped him 🙄 I realise he probably just wanted to keep something but they were everywhere and driving me nuts. He did eventually give them to a charity shop thank goodness. When we were moving 5 years ago he had to clear the garage out which he’d filled with clutter and it took him weeks to sort out I think he learned his lesson because he hasn’t done it in our new house.
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