Advice needed. RE dad taken advantage of by Uncle/taking money

[TheDisneyCouple]

My father-in-law owns a house in Leeds which was left to him by my OHs (Michael's) grandparents. He lives there with his brother-in-law, who was married to Michael's aunt until she died. This Uncle drinks all day, doesn't work and is apparently verbally abusive towards my father-in-law. We haven't witnessed the behaviour yet.

My father-in-law is vulnerable. He is very easily manipulated by others and unable to make decisions or defend himself. We have discovered that, in the 80s before they moved in, Michael's aunt and uncle convinced his father to add them to the house deeds because they were blacklisted from getting a mortgage. Having finally got Michael's dad to start opening up about this, he believes that the house is split 50/50 but asking around the family it could be that he gave away two thirds and just doesn't remember or is confused. He has always been vulnerable.

As if this isn't bad enough, we have also discovered that Michael's dad pays his uncle £320 a month in cash as 'his half' of the bills! The bills are all in his brother-in-law's name. There's no mortgage. No phone contracts or subscriptions. Just utilities. He doesn't know how much the bills are, except that the council tax is £116 and the TV licence is paid yearly (and he pays it each time!). It sounds to us like Michael's dad is being taken advantage of and is actually paying the full bills. He doesn't seem to understand how much things actually cost.

My father-in-law sorts out and pays for his own food separately. He doesn't use or understand the internet (if they have it- he doesn't know/understand) and can only turn the telly on and off so he doesn't use sky. He can't cook and is afraid to use the kitchen or watch telly after 6pm because he doesn't want to anger the Uncle. The Uncle doesn't cook for both of them but leaves him with all the washing up. We do dad's laundry.

The Uncle locks his bedroom door with a Yale lock and obviously we haven't got a look at utility bills because of lockdown but we suspect they'll be locked in there.

Just needed to vent. I'm angry that we've just found out about all of this and I don't know how to go about rectifying this and protecting Michael's dad's rights. We need to find out how much he SHOULD be paying towards the bills and what the house situation is but apparently the Uncle has refused to cooperate when Michael's other aunt tried to confront him. Any advice here would be much appreciated.

If you got this far, thanks for sticking with me.

[shirley]

Omg, this is just awful to read. If I was your other half, I'd be demanding to know what cost £320 a month, I'd also put a stop to it asap. A visit to a lawyer would be next to clarify what exactly is on the deeds etc. Once you have the basic information confirmed, then reassess your fil finances, will etc. I can never understand why people exploit family members, but please be pro-active, it sounds very much he is being exploited xx

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by shirley

Omg, this is just awful to read. If i was your other half, id be demanding to know what cost £320 a mobth, id also put a stop to ut asap. A visit to a lawyets would be next to clarify what exactly is ontbe deeds etc. Once you have the basic information confirmed, then reassess your fil finances, will etc. I can never understand why people exploit family members, but please be pro-active, it sounds very much he is being exploited xx

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We want to confront his Uncle asap but we also want as much information as possible beforehand so he can't lie to us. I just hope we can find out without seeing the paper bills.

[Puddle5]

If your father in law is a vulnerable adult contact his local safeguarding board straight away. There is all sorts of help available, housing support to help him with the bills and advocacy, etc they should also be able to give advice. Your father in law would have to consent though, give them a ring tomorrow morning. It might be that his brother in law might be more 'responsive' if you put it on a formal footing?

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by Puddle5

If your father in law is a vulnerable adult contact his local safeguarding board straight away. There is all sorts of help available, housing support to help him with the bills and advocacy, etc they should also be able to give advice. Your father in law would have to consent though, give them a ring tomorrow morning. It might be that his brother in law might be more 'responsive' if you put it on a formal footing?

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Thanks for this. I'll try to find a number tonight.

[dubletrub]

Could you write down all possible outgoings and ask your fil neighbours roughly what theirs are. Looking at council tax, water, gas and electric, tv licence and house insurance. He shouldn’t be paying for sky/cable or broadband if he doesn’t use it. You could get old of adult social services to see if any care could be put in place for him
You need to know who’s names are on the deeds and if people have passes where their wills in place to leave it to this man. Maybe a solicitor could help with that

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by dubletrub

Could you write down all possible outgoings and ask your fil neighbours roughly what theirs are. Looking at council tax, water, gas and electric, tv licence and house insurance. He shouldn’t be paying for sky/cable or broadband if he doesn’t use it. You could get old of adult social services to see if any care could be put in place for him
You need to know who’s names are on the deeds and if people have passes where their wills in place to leave it to this man. Maybe a solicitor could help with that

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Neighbours is a good start.

I think we definitely need to see a solicitor. We're concerned that either his dad doesn't remember or understand the housing arrangement or he's too upset to talk about it. It's taken this long for him talk about it but he's realised that he made a mistake. My concern is that, if the Uncle gets paid in cash for utility bills that are in his name, does this affect his rights to the house? It'd be just like him to try to cheat my fil through a technicality.

[sully301]

If you suspect he is being taken advantage of then please ring adult social care for advice before you do anything. Doing anything else can muddy the waters and affect any action taken in future.

[Hoaplaong50]

This is a difficult one. I'm a debt recovery officer for a county council and deal with these situations more often than I would like when dealing with unpaid debts - sometimes due to family members being financially abused.
There is a fine line between fil making 'unwise decisions' and him being taken advantage of.
As others have said - contact Adult Social Care first thing tomorrow. There should be a Helpdesk number on your county council's website. Report that you have concerns re fil and financial abuse. They will advise whether it needs a referral or may signpost you to other options such as Age UK. Do you think he lacks capacity to make decisions surrounding his finances or is just giving in to the Uncle?
Does anyone have lasting power of attorney for fil? If he has capacity, I would get that set up straight away if no one currently does. This doesn't give the right to handle his finances but will if he loses capacity. He can always, through a solicitor, make you financial representative (or someone he trusts) and then you can legally handle his funds.
Take advice and then speak to fil and uncle - Uncle may well open up a bit more if you say you are taking formal advice.
Keep us updated with how you get on.

[Redsox77]

As well as financial abuse, there appears the suggestion of psychological abuse ie if your fil doesn’t want to use the kitchen after a certain time in case he angers the uncle.
Pleas do contact the safeguarding team first thing tomorrow.