Organising carers for elderly

[Taffy1959]

My dad had to have care in place before he could leave hospital so the hospital staff got social services involved who put everything in place.
Before he went into care he had a company called Wiltshire Farm Foods who delivered a weeks worth of frozen meals for him every Wednesday they also put them in the freezer for him.
Sorry I can’t be more help but it’s 15 years since my dad passed away so things may have changed now

[Dr.JumbaJookiba]

Originally Posted by sully301

that is true but they can provide guidance and signposting to other services. Also you can pay them a flat fee to find support (not as easy to do privately sometimes) and set everything up. I think it's around £400.

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Yeah, sorry I should have said, although we didn't get local authority carers the Adult social worker we were allocated was very helpful at the assessment, and a godsend later on as her condition deteriorated and Mum ended up under a Mental Health section 3.

[KarenG]

Originally Posted by Dr.JumbaJookiba

I think the general theory is that if you have to self fund you might as well pay a company of your choosing and have the ability to choose times/services etc.

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That was exactly the steer they gave us.

Sully thanks for your advice

[Disney_time]

We are in Scotland, and thankfully my parents moved back "home" from 80 miles away when they realised they couldn't cope for much longer. When mum died last year, we had to get carers for dad and I simply phoned the local authority. I do a lot for dad, but it's hard enough co-ordinating his washing, cleaners, bills, prescriptions, shopping etc without having to employ, vet, timetable and supervise private carers. The local authority have appointed an agency to provide care - 3 times daily for meals and medication and they are fantastic. He more or less has the same two ladies all the time, with a few substitutes for holidays, sickness etc. He couldn't be better off and it's peace of mind for me, knowing that they are in 3 times a day, checking on him.

Regarding meals - The girls do a cooked breakfast, salads, toasties, soup for lunch and I buy Wiltshire Farm foods for the evening meal. They are very good and the driver puts them straight in the freezer (if the client wants that). There is a huge range and they have different sizes. Mum & Dad used to share a "hearty" sized meal between them. They go in the microwave from frozen and you don't even have to pierce the film. My dad hasn't got fed up with them yet!

OP I'd advise you to check if your folks qualify for attendance allowance if they don't already get it. It's a useful sum and helps towards making sure the house is warm and lots of other things.

[Stan1805]

I order Wiltshire meals for my mil They are delivered directly to her door and the man puts them straight into the freezer. They are cooked in the microwave from frozen. You can order online or by telephone and they are one of the loveliest polite companies I have dealt with.

[Michyloulou]

Thank you so much for all the replies. My FIL has said he promised MIL he’d go along with her wishes (she is the type of person that never wants to trouble anyone, so I can imagine this is her wish), but at the same time not helpful. I wish we had space to have them in our house, but we don’t have enough bedrooms as it is. They live in a bungalow already, and i’d be surprised if they’re eligible for any assistance as they are quite comfortably off. I will definitely look into Wiltshire Farm Foods. I fear it’s got to the stage where FIL can’t cope with MIL anymore, and I know he finds it exasperating every day when she can’t remember simple things like how to make a cup of tea. Although he’s got more energy now following his procedure, he’s very frail on his feet. I think carers could help with meals (I think MIL would either forget to put meals in oven, or take them out again), but also it would be some company for FIL. Last time we saw them FIL told me he gets asked 100 times a day if he’d like a cup of tea, but nothing usually materialises , then MIL will come back to conservatory where he likes to sit and ask him again. He said it’s like Groundhog day and I can imagine it must be extremely mentally draining for him. Thank you again, I will get the ball rolling. xx

[BevS97]

Originally Posted by KarenG

We had a long discussion with our local adult care team who were incredibly lovely and supportive but told us there was no point in visiting if they had the ability to self fund. I would be interested to know if we were told wrongly because the advice from them was very specific and very clear.

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My in laws went through the council & had a social worker but self funded their care. Going through the council meant they got lower rates and the support of the social worker.
They were invaluable when FIL had to go into hospital and a short term care home place was needed for MIL. The places still had to be paid for, but they were able to access vacancies and assist in getting a place quickly when it was needed.

Re food. My father in law didn’t eat much and we found he wouldn’t eat prepared frozen meals. He would forget to heat them. We eventually found a local cafe that delivered hot lunches ready to eat. This was just an independent small cafe but there maybe something similar in your area. I just found them through Facebook searches.

[Anne]

I would say make sure you get a care company who will give you a rota of visits and set them to a time that you want them to visit. Also, one that doesn't take travelling time out of their visit so that if you are paying for an hour your inlaws will have them for an hour.

So many companies will arrive anytime say between 8 and 12 and only stay for 15 minutes as they have to get to their next client. What can they do in 15 minutes.

[FlorayG]

My mom self-funded in her last years and I have to say if you can afford it then it's much better because YOU get to say how often they visit. Towards the end she had a local care company visit 30 minutes morning and evening and a private carer (who had been a paid shopping companion for two years previously and became a good friend) at lunchtime to heat up her food (another recommendation for Wiltshire Farm Foods here, their drivers are lovely people) and keep her company and leave her a sandwich for later because. although she had no dementia, she 'couldn't be bothered' to eat if she had to prepare it. If you are not self-funding you will be lucky to get 15 minutes morning and evening only.
It sounds like your FIL is suffering more than your MIL. Of course he won't say so but it must be awful for him. Do get an assessment because there is loads of help available to which, you should remind them, they are perfectly entitled as that's what they've paid NI contributions for years FOR
Wishing you the best; i know how hard it can be

[FlorayG]

Originally Posted by Anne

I would say make sure you get a care company who will give you a rota of visits and set them to a time that you want them to visit. Also, one that doesn't take travelling time out of their visit so that if you are paying for an hour your inlaws will have them for an hour.

So many companies will arrive anytime say between 8 and 12 and only stay for 15 minutes as they have to get to their next client. What can they do in 15 minutes.

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Sometimes it can't be helped unfortunately. This often happened to my mom and when I would enquire there could be many reasons e.g carer off sick (happens REALLY frequently as they are not allowed to work if they have even a simple cold) or an emergency at the previous call - one time my mom's carer stayed with her waiting for an ambulance after she found mom fallen on the floor. Plus it's really difficult to get staff in the first place so if one is on holiday all the remaining have to cover. I find it amazing that anybody at all does that job it's so difficult