Living alone after divorce

[Stitchesmumanddad]

Ive been in this position 4 times lol. Last 3.5 year relationship ended a couple of weeks ago. I love being single and I always tell myself never again ... until the next time I love my own space and bed ! X

[Guest]

My aunt got divorced about 5 years ago, she has had many a chance for a new relationship but loves her own company so much that she hasn't explored them!

She loves keeping her own time, decorating her home in her own decor (she actually has a wallpaper that contains velour dogs on it... I can't imagine she'd get away with that in a relationship!)

It takes some getting used to, but you will thrive

[Stitchfan626]

I moved 100 miles away from my home town and my ex DH back in 2010. I loved living alone (I'm still single now but with a DS and living with my poorly DM).

I loved being able to do what I wanted and when I wanted.

Good luck OP

[duchy]

"Is it exciting in any way ?"

That was the part that jumped out at me.
It's a whole new chapter of your life , you can make any choices you want, yes it's a bit scary at first , but most exciting things are.

It sounds like the split wasn't of your choosing , but it is what it is so start thinking about the things big and small you'd like to do , whether it's having a Pink and purple bedroom, cut or grow your hair, have a holiday somewhere he wouldn't want to go , cooking meals you like, playing music YOU like. If you've always had to consider someone else's choices (and shared decisions) it's quite odd at first but you soon adjust and find you are enjoying coming first !

It can be as exciting as you want it to be ... you get to choose.

[BucksBugsy]

Originally Posted by Scully

Have you considered renting a room in a shared house rather than buying on your own?
Try spare room.com

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Each to their own but I'm not sure I would recommend this. I think when someone comes out of a long term relationship - no matter how it ends - they need time and space to gather their thoughts and adjust to their new situation.I'm not sure being in such close proximity to strangers is a good way of dealing with it is the right way for everyone.

Of course living in a house with people that may become new friends could work for some but only the OP will know that.

Good luck.

[duchy]

I bought a flat with a spare room so I had the option to rent it out if I chose.
I did for a while and had a nurse lodger in her thirties, as I worked mon to fri and she worked shifts it worked very well as we rarely both needed the bathroom at the same time and both had time to ourselves in the flat . It worked really well, company and space , we did go out and also share takeaways sometimes and Did remain friends after she got a new job and moved on. It can work well when you are adjusting to living a single life sometimes (and the extra income is nice too)

[Daisy_Do_72]

Originally Posted by duchy

"Is it exciting in any way ?"

That was the part that jumped out at me.
It's a whole new chapter of your life , you can make any choices you want, yes it's a bit scary at first , but most exciting things are.

It sounds like the split wasn't of your choosing , but it is what it is so start thinking about the things big and small you'd like to do , whether it's having a Pink and purple bedroom, cut or grow your hair, have a holiday somewhere he wouldn't want to go , cooking meals you like, playing music YOU like. If you've always had to consider someone else's choices (and shared decisions) it's quite odd at first but you soon adjust and find you are enjoying coming first !

It can be as exciting as you want it to be ... you get to choose.

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I couldn't have put it better myself. Best of luck, you will be fine.

[pretty71]

I found myself on my own for the first time ever when I was 39. I am not going to lie I found it very very difficult at first. The house was so quiet and I didn't like being on my own at night very much, but I think part of that was just all of the insecurities coming out. I often felt loney but I threw myself forwards and got on with it. One of the things I found the worst was going food shopping just for myself, it was like what is the point? lol

There are many positives though, doing what you want when you want and exactly the way you want...can't beat it Friends also made more of an effort which makes you feel good too.

Like you have said once you are over the shock of it all it is not that bad and some people obviously adjust to it better than others. Personally I am not meant to be on my own, but I have friends who love it and never feel lonely. Good Luck on your new journey.

[alp1972]

Hi I wont say it is easy all the time and at times it is really hard but you get there in the end and there are some real positives to being on your own . My ex husband decided to leave me 4 weeks after us buying a new house I was devastated and it took a while to get over the shock and get my head together but I got there eventually . I loved moving into my new home it was somewhere where I didnt have any memories of "us" I decorated it myself just how I wanted loved going out shopping for accessories . I could arrange trips with friends and evenings out without having to consider someone else . I loved a night in watching a movie or just getting in the car and popping to the shops for a mooch around . Yes admittedly there were times when I hated being alone and I am now married again and have moved and started over but even now sometimes I miss that time I spent in my own home with just myself to please . Enjoy your new place and take time for yourself to do what you would like to do without having to worry about anyone else . Good luck in your new home

[sam_b]

Hi

This happened to me after being with my OH from age 19 - 40.
We had sold our house and just before exchange he decided that we should split.
I was totally at a loss for what to do - I had no home and was on my own! I felt in freefall and for a few weeks I really didn't know what to do with myself. I stayed with my sister initially (6 weeks) and then decided that I would rent my own place. My dilemma was where - I work from home, my friends were scattered (and all in relationships), I could live anywhere...in the end, I opted to move back to the village I lived in with my (ex) partner.
I rented a house (it was too big for just me but it was the only one that felt homey).
At first I struggled with being alone - I went out walking a lot, then took up mountain biking. I went to the cinema alone often and sometimes went to supermarkets in the evening just to be out of the house.
Eventually, I settled into a routine - I liked cooking and eating what I wanted, I lost loads of weight - I loved spreading the Sunday paper across my big bed with no one complaining! I played my music loudly and sang along badly, I reconnected with old friends.
5 months in, I joined an internet dating site, 6 months in I went on my first dates and then I met my (now) husband - I was 41.
I can honestly say that I have never been happier and it wouldn't have happened without that space to 'be me' again.

My advice - find a place that feels ok - secure, homey etc
Treat yourself to a lovely duvet and expensive covers - make a haven.
Get to know yourself again and do things for you.
After that, you may want to meet someone else - or you may decide to stay single!

Good luck - it will be fine - scary, but fine. 😀